Every day it feels like my dream of having a family is dying.
If I am being honest, I let go of that dream a while ago and accepted that I am probably going to stay single. I don’t know what’s worse, being a 23 year old virgin or constantly feeling like women play with your emotions.
I recently went on a date with a woman who had shown interest in me first. The date went badly. She spent a lot of time talking about her ex. She is very attractive and gets attention everywhere she goes. At one point, while I was in the bathroom, another guy approached her and I came back to see her giving him her Instagram. I tried not to react, but it hurt.
After the date, I texted her that I had a good time. Now her replies are short and delayed. The whole thing made me want to go home and cry.
What makes this harder is that I genuinely want a relationship. Since I was 15, I’ve dreamed about getting married and building a life with someone. I want someone to love and grow with. I don’t think that’s asking for something unreasonable.
Instead, I keep ending up in situations where women want friendship but not romance. Dating apps haven’t worked. Cold approaching feels terrifying. I’ve even looked into things like height surgery, facial surgery, and other ways to improve my appearance, but part of me wonders what the point is if people are just going to leave or cheat anyway.
I’m exhausted. I feel rejected. I feel like nobody sees the good in me. I keep asking God why this keeps happening. I didn’t even pursue this last woman. She entered my life and reached out to me first.
At this point, I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.
This date sounds painful, and it’s understandable that it hurt. But one bad date is not evidence that all women are the same or that your future is already decided.
A woman talking about her ex throughout a date usually means she isn’t emotionally available. That reflects where she is emotionally, not your worth as a man.
Right now, you’re taking one disappointing experience and using it to predict the rest of your life. That’s not reality. That’s pain talking.
You are 23 years old. Your story is not over. Most people have not met their spouse by that age. The fact that you’ve been dreaming about marriage for years doesn’t mean you’ve missed your chance.
You also mentioned that women often want to be friends with you. While that can be frustrating when you want something more, it also means people enjoy your company and trust you. That is not a sign that you’re broken.
The deeper issue is that you’ve tied your sense of worth to whether a woman chooses you. That’s a dangerous place to live because no relationship can permanently fix self doubt.
Stop researching surgeries. Stop assuming every future partner will cheat. Focus on becoming a man who builds a meaningful life whether he is single or married.
Date to learn about people, not to immediately find a wife. Let rejection be disappointing without letting it define your identity.
The dream of marriage is not dead. You’re just exhausted, discouraged, and hurting. Those are real feelings, but they are not proof that your future is gone.