“Why did you decide to become a surrogate?”
“I have wanted to be a surrogate since I was 19. I live in a state where it only became legal within the last 5 years.”
“What was the arrangement?”
“I went with an agency and matched with a couple — two guys — who lived a couple hours away from me. I delivered a healthy baby girl in October 2025.”
“Was the baby biologically related to you?”
“No. I was only the gestational surrogate. Donor egg and their sperm.”
“How old were you when you did this?”
“I was 37 when this happened.”
“Did the process take a long time?”
“There was a good year that passed before an embryo was transferred. During that year I had extensive and invasive testing done to even determine if I was a good candidate. Mental, physical, behavior, financial, and criminal backgrounds were evaluated.”
“How did you explain it to your kids?”
“My youngest was 2.5 so she didn’t really understand. My oldest met the dads and fully understood I was helping them with a family.”
“Did your kids say anything funny about it?”
“My daughter told my ex-husband, ‘Mommy is having another guy’s baby.’ I hadn’t even told him yet.”
“Who was in the delivery room?”
“My husband and both dads.”
“What was labor like?”
“Even though it was my third baby it was the longest labor. I was pushing for about 30 minutes just to get her to the starting gate.”
“Would you do it again?”
“As long as my body can get back to where I would like, I am considering doing it once more before I hit 40.”
“How much do surrogates typically get paid?”
“First-time surrogates range maybe around $45k, not including medical coverage. The total cost on the parents’ side can easily be over $100k.”
“Did people criticize you for being paid?”
“People donate organs, eggs, sperm and are compensated. Why can’t I be paid?”
“Did it ever feel exploitative?”
“It certainly can be, but the difference here is I CHOSE to do this.”
“Did you feel emotionally attached to the baby?”
“Nope, not at all. Even with my own children my bond wasn’t there until they were earthside.”
“What happened right after the birth?”
“As soon as the baby was born she went right to her dads. I didn’t feel any sort of way about it and honestly she felt foreign to me.”
“Did you feel sad after?”
“By the time I had her it was two years into the process. I felt no sadness or remorse. I was happy to no longer be pregnant.”
“Did you stay involved afterward?”
“I pumped milk for them until the end of the year. Roughly 3500 ounces.”
“Did you keep in touch with the family?”
“I get photos and videos now that she’s older.”
“What was the hardest part physically?”
“The shots sucked. I had to do multiple rounds because the first transfer didn’t take.”
“Did the first embryo transfer fail?”
“Yeah, the first one ended in what they called a chemical pregnancy.”
“Did you ever feel judged?”
“Honestly most of the judgment came from men.”
“What kind of comments?”
“Some men said they would never ‘let’ their wives do that because carrying another man’s baby was wrong.”
“What do people misunderstand most about surrogacy?”
“A lot of people assume I’m giving away my own child. I’m not. I was simply the house and provided nutrients.”
“You called yourself the house?”
“I joked that I was basically the uterus Airbnb.”
“What made you want to do this in the first place?”
“I look at my time on this earth as leading with intention and impact. Surrogacy allowed me to show others that giving can come in a lot of ways.”
“Did helping the couple feel fulfilling?”
“It was very fulfilling to help people who had tried so hard to get there.”
“Did the dads bond with the baby immediately?”
“They did skin-to-skin as soon as the umbilical cord was cut.”
“Were you worried about complications?”
“All of those scenarios were discussed during the legal phase before any embryo transfer happened.”
“What if something went wrong medically?”
“The intended parents wanted my safety first in the event something serious happened.”
“Did the agency provide support?”
“I had support groups and individual counseling sessions available throughout the process.”
“Did the pregnancy affect your health long-term?”
“I had gestational diabetes again, but overall I recovered really quickly.”
“What was the weirdest part of the process?”
“The fertility clinic sometimes made me feel like a breeder cow instead of a person.”
“What would you change if you did it again?”
“I would want the parents to live closer and be more involved during appointments.”
“What’s your overall feeling looking back on it?”
“I’m proud of myself for helping grow a family.”