If you’re living your life in such a way that you hope to prove yourself, then you’re cut off from your greater inner resources. It doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to prove yourself to one person, many people, or just yourself.
Being stuck with the need to prove is a slavery mindset. You’re not truly free. You’re trying to win some kind of approval (aPROVal, see that there?) so that you can finally go live your life the way you’d otherwise prefer to.
Therefore let this article serve as a reminder and invitation to put down all of your proving agendas so that you can just go right ahead and live your life in ways that support your greatest happiness and evolution.
What do you need from others before you can finally relax into your life?
What is that one moment that you’re waiting for, when finally you will have made it and everyone finally sees you the way that you’ve been wanting to be seen for so long?
What are they saying, in your imagination? What do they see when they look at you?
“S/he is a total success!”
“S/he’s so cool!”
“S/he’s truly one of the greats of our time!”
“S/he’s got his/her shit together.”
What do you need someone to say about you – or to you – that will allow you to finally relax into your life? And who is it that needs to say it? Who needs to have their mind changed about you?
Do you see what I mean about the ‘slavery mentality’? Because whoever it is that you need to prove yourself to… they own you! You just keep trying and trying to change things until they finally release you by changing their mind about you.
Is any of this true though?
Ultimately you’re just withholding from yourself
When you look at it with enough clarity, the whole game is nonsense.
Why should it matter what this one person thinks of you? Why should it matter what anyone thinks of you? It doesn’t. Think about it: why would it matter what someone thinks about you, as opposed to what you think about you? Who’s the real authority here?
The invitation now is to stop giving your authority away. Just because someone else’s thinks something, we’re so much more likely to agree with them and align with their view. If someone says that we’re this or that… we take it real seriously. But if you were to say “I’m pretty amazing and I’m a success” you’d totally reject it, wouldn’t you?
You’d say “It’s not real if *I* say it, it has to come from someone else.”
But that’s bullshit right?
Ultimately you’re just withholding from yourself. Withholding approval, appreciation, recognition, love.
Are you willing to stop this? Are you willing to reclaim your authority? Are you willing to ‘approve’ of yourself and release yourself from slavery mentality?
How to exit “approval-seeking” [Try this 3-min technique]
Believe it or not, you can stop this nonsense right here, right now. But you need to be willing to. The trick is that you can say with your mouth “yes, I want to stop this nonsense now” but that doesn’t mean that you mean it, necessarily.
If you’ve been living your whole life thinking that everyone else “knows something that you don’t” and that you trust them more than you trust you then you might experience some resistance in making the shift. Just know that going in. But you CAN do it, and it doesn’t need to take tons of time or effort.
Here’s how. With as much sincerity as you can muster, read the following lines aloud with your voice:
I hereby release myself from all proof-seeking vows.
I hereby cancel, nullify, and release all desire and obligation to change someone’s opinion of me.
I hereby allow all people to see me exactly as I am.
I hereby allow people to have any and all opinions of me that they now have or will have.
I allow these people to think whatever, whatsoever they are going to think.
I allow all people to either like or dislike me.
I allow all people to see or NOT see my true greatness, the depth and majesty of the fathomless essence of my being.
I allow myself now to be as I am.
I hereby acknowledge myself and my accomplishments.
I hereby resolve all tendencies to negate my goodness, my success, my quality, my value.
I recognize that as an individual, I’m utterly complete, and there’s nothing truly wrong or lacking about me. There’s nothing that I need from anyone.
There is nothing left that is required for my freedom.I am free, utterly free.
Take a second to notice what it feels like to have said these things. Notice how it feels in your body, physically, as well as emotionally. It’s all true isn’t it? We’re just disabusing you of all sorts of nonsense ideas that have been bamboozling you out of this state of freedom that is your natural birthright.
If you really want to take these ideas all the way, then return to this list and repeat it daily for 30 days. This will create a profound shift in you which has the potential to seriously put you on track for your greatest evolution.
If you struggle with self-discipline, consistency, motivation… just take a moment to consider what a drain it is on our motivation when we’re putting in all this effort for someone else! Now all this effort can be for you.
Hope this helps!