“You always need to be right”
I’ve heard this sentence directed at me from countless different people. It’s true, I do like to win an argument and be correct. However, I don’t really see how that’s such a negative thing. I think through the things I say and believe them to be right. I’m not going to stop believing them simply because you don’t. Think of a better argument than saying I only win because I want to win.
In the end I don’t want to be right, I want to know the right answer. I know I’m dumb and don’t have all the answers but that fact doesn’t win you the argument.
Anybody else in here considered a know-it-all or thick-skulled for needing to win arguments, when in reality you genuinely believe in your side and are open to be proven wrong?
Confession: I used to be like this. Every conversation was a battlefield, every opinion a flag I defended with the ferocity of a lion protecting its pride. But somewhere along the way, the weight of needing to be right became, well, heavy. The constant tension, the defensiveness, the strained relationships – it all started to feel less like winning and more like losing myself.
Then, a paradigm shift. It wasn’t about abandoning truth or surrendering convictions. It was about letting go of the rigid need to be the sole proprietor of it. And let me tell you, the liberation was like stepping out of a self-made cage.
Here’s the truth: needing to be right all the time isn’t a badge of honor; it’s a barrier to connection and growth. It limits our ability to:
- Truly listen: When we’re fixated on “winning” the argument, we miss the nuances of what others are saying. Real listening opens doors to new perspectives and fosters deeper understanding.
- Embrace learning: Being right all the time leaves no room for growth. When we’re open to being wrong, we open ourselves to the possibility of learning and evolving.
- Build meaningful relationships: Constant correction and one-upmanship erode trust and intimacy. Vulnerability and the willingness to learn together create stronger bonds.
So, how do we shed the need to be right and step into the freedom of open-mindedness? Here are a few tips:
- Focus on understanding, not winning: Shift your goal from proving yourself right to truly understanding the other person’s perspective. Ask clarifying questions, actively listen, and be open to having your own perspective challenged.
- Celebrate curiosity, not certainty: Embrace the joy of exploration and discovery. Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers, and find excitement in the possibility of learning something new.
- Welcome healthy debate: Disagreement doesn’t have to be destructive. See it as an opportunity to explore different viewpoints and expand your own understanding.
This isn’t about abandoning your values or becoming wishy-washy. It’s about recognizing that rigidity isn’t strength, it’s brittleness.
True strength lies in the flexibility to learn, adapt, and connect. When we let go of the need to be right, we open ourselves to a world of possibilities, deeper connections, and a lighter, more fulfilling life.
So, raise a glass to curiosity, to open minds, and to the liberating power of not always needing to be right. It might just be the most empowering decision you make today.