I never thought I’d find myself in this situation, but here I am, seeking guidance for a problem I never anticipated. A few years ago, I met a woman named Sarah through mutual friends. We hit it off immediately and started dating shortly after. Things were going great, and I felt like I had finally found the person I wanted to spend my life with.
However, about a year into our relationship, Sarah revealed that she was married. She had been separated from her husband for several months before we met, but they were still legally married. Sarah assured me that she was in the process of getting a divorce and that she wanted to be with me.
I was shocked and hurt, but I loved her so much that I decided to stay with her. We continued our relationship in secret, sneaking around behind her husband’s back. I justified it to myself by saying that she was going to leave him anyway, and that we were meant to be together.
Months turned into years, and Sarah’s divorce never seemed to finalize. There was always some excuse or delay. I started to feel more and more guilty about the situation, knowing that I was helping her betray her marriage vows. I also felt increasingly lonely and isolated, as I couldn’t share my relationship with Sarah with anyone in my life.
I’ve tried to end things with Sarah several times, but each time, she promises me that the divorce is just around the corner and that we’ll finally be able to be together openly. I always believe her and take her back, but nothing ever changes.
Now, I’m at a breaking point. I know that I need to end this relationship for good, but I’m struggling with the thought of the loneliness and pain that I know will come with it. Sarah has been such a big part of my life for so long that I don’t know how to imagine my life without her.
I feel like I’m being torn apart. On the one hand, I love Sarah and believe that we have a real connection. On the other hand, I know that what we’re doing is wrong, and I don’t want to be a part of something so deceitful anymore.
How do I find the strength to walk away from someone I love so deeply? How do I cope with the guilt of my role in this affair? I’m afraid of the emptiness and pain that I know will come when I end things, but I also know that I can’t keep living like this.
Please help me figure out how to move forward and find peace.
I can feel the pain and confusion in your words, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. So many people find themselves caught up in situations like this, where they’re torn between their love for someone and their own sense of what’s right.
I think the key thing to remember here is that, as much as you care for Sarah, your relationship with her is fundamentally built on a lie. She wasn’t honest with you from the beginning about her marriage, and she’s continued to string you along with promises of a divorce that never seems to come. That’s not a foundation for a healthy, trusting relationship.
I know it’s hard to walk away from someone you love, but I think you already know in your heart that this situation isn’t sustainable. The longer you stay, the more damage you’re doing to yourself, to Sarah, and to her husband. It’s time to rip off the band-aid and end things for good.
That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. You’re absolutely right that you’re going to face a lot of loneliness and pain in the aftermath of this relationship. But that pain is necessary for you to heal and move forward. You’ve got to go through it to get to the other side.
My advice? Start by being honest with your friends and family about what you’ve been going through. I know it’s scary to open up, but you need support right now. Let the people who care about you be there for you.
Then, take some time to grieve the end of this relationship. Cry, journal, go to therapy – do whatever you need to do to process your emotions. Don’t try to bottle it all up inside.
Most importantly, forgive yourself. You made a mistake in getting involved with Sarah, but that doesn’t define who you are. You’re human, and humans mess up sometimes. What matters is that you’re choosing to do the right thing now.
It’s going to be a tough road ahead, I’m not going to lie. But I promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have the opportunity to build a new life for yourself, one based on honesty, integrity, and self-respect. Embrace that.
All the best