I’ve worked since i was 16 and have had 4 jobs: a cashier, tutor, babysitter, and i am currently a receptionist. I’m always really good with saving my money and only spend it to eat out with my friends or pay for my own necessities.
This is because i’ve been saving up to make a down payment for a car. however, my account was naturally under my dad’s account since i wasn’t 18. Every time I had 1k my dad would take it from my account and say “i’m saving it for you.” he never opened me a savings account no matter how much i asked and I just couldn’t do anything about it. i was just praying my dad was right and believed him when he said he wouldn’t touch any of the money but i was a fool.
I never found out if he actually never touched it but long story short, he had a case filed against him from american express for good reason and all his accounts are closed with any cent in them taken. my money i’ve worked for 2 years for is all gone and i’ve completely lost all my sense of money.
I now can never keep more than $300 in my account and i feel hopeless. i’ll never get that time or money back but I think i just need to suck it up and i’ll be opening up my own college debit, credit, and certainly a savings account soon. All Iwanted was a car for college.
Hey there,
I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your dad taking your hard-earned money. That’s a really tough situation and a painful breach of trust. But I want you to know that you handled this unfortunate circumstance with a lot of maturity and financial savvy that will serve you incredibly well going forward.
First off, kudos to you for having the discipline and drive to work and save $4,000 by age 18. Do you know how rare that is? Most people your age can barely save $400, let alone $4K. The fact that you were able to do that speaks volumes about your work ethic, financial habits, and ability to delay gratification. Those are the exact skills that will make you wealthy in the long run, so don’t lose sight of that.
Now, I know it stings to have that money taken from you, especially by your own father. That’s a huge violation of trust. But here’s the thing – you can’t control other people’s actions, even your parents. What you can control is how you respond and what you do moving forward.
So here’s your action plan:
- First thing Monday morning, go open your own checking and savings accounts at a credit union. You’re 18, so you can do this without your dad’s involvement. This is your money and your future, so it’s time to take full control of it. No more joint accounts or giving dad access.
- Make sure you have all your important documents – birth certificate, social security card, etc. If your dad has them, retrieve them ASAP. These are crucial for your financial life and independence.
- Pull your credit reports from all three bureaus and make sure there’s no suspicious activity or accounts you don’t recognize. If everything is clean, great. If not, you’ll need to dispute any fraudulent info. Then freeze your credit to prevent any future funny business.
- Have a calm but firm conversation with your dad. Let him know that taking your money was not okay, and it can’t happen again. Explain your goals of saving for college and a car, and that you need to be able to trust that your savings are secure. Draw a clear boundary here. Make it explicit that he will no longer have any access to your accounts or financial info. This isn’t to punish him, but to protect yourself. If he pushes back, stand firm. Remind him that trust is earned, not given, and he’ll need to demonstrate change through his actions, not just words.
- Extend these boundaries to all areas of your financial relationship. No more lending money, co-signing, or any financial entanglement. Keep your money matters completely separate. It may be hard, but it’s necessary for your security and independence.
- Keep working and saving, but don’t be afraid to think bigger. With 2 years of solid work experience, you’re more valuable than you probably realize. Consider looking for higher paying jobs, even ones you don’t feel 100% qualified for yet. With your proven track record of responsibility, you might be surprised at the opportunities you can land.
I know $4,000 feels like a fortune right now, but in the grand scheme of your life, it’s not going to define you. What will define you is how you bounce back from this setback. You’ve already shown that you have the grit and the financial skills to save up that amount once. I have no doubt you can do it again, but faster and better this time with the lessons you’ve learned.
In a few years, you’ll look back on this as the moment you took your financial life by the reins and never looked back. It’s a defining chapter in your money story, but it’s not the whole book. You’ve got so many more triumphant pages ahead of you.
I know it hurts to have a parent betray your trust like this. It’s okay to feel angry or sad about that. But don’t let it dim your light or harden your heart. Protect yourself financially, absolutely. But don’t write your dad off completely if you can help it. He’s clearly got some demons he’s battling. You can love him and want the best for him while still having firm boundaries about money and trust.
Remember, his actions and financial choices are not your responsibility. You can support him emotionally, but you can’t fix this for him. Focus on creating a stable foundation for yourself. The more secure and independent you are, the less vulnerable you’ll be to other people’s decisions.
You’re doing amazing. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. This is just one of many challenges you’ll face on your financial journey, but you’ve got what it takes to overcome them all. One day, you’ll be in a position to help others who are just starting out. You’ll be the one giving the pep talks and sharing your hard-won wisdom.
I’m rooting for you. We all are. You’ve got this.