I (34M) married to my wife (33F) we have two kids together (age 5 and 6) and she’s currently eight months pregnant, we’re expecting in May.
My income has dropped significantly since 2022, I now make 6k monthly after taxes. I pay our rent $2,700, $150 monthly for gas, my phone bill $120, $750 on fun money, and I put everything else in my brokerage account and savings.
My wife has been in school during the pandemic and didn’t work, but got her masters now and makes $4,500 after taxes.
Her expenses are the car insurance for the car that we share, which is $130 monthly, she pays the hulu ($70), utilities ($140), internet ($10), groceries and stuff at need for the house ($500).
I have zero debt while she has student loans of 42k that she’s not paying, 7k in credit card debt, 4k of the 7k is in collections.
I’m not sure what else she spends her money on, but she likes planning parties, trips, and stuff like that.
She wants us to buy a house, it’s 450k minimum in our area for the cheapest house in the hood lol. She wants a 70-80k wedding. She wants annual international trips
Our family is growing and we need a bigger car to fit three kids and I told her I don’t want to take that responsibility of paying for the new car and asked her to pay for it monthly, but she says she don’t have the money and she will need eight months to save for it.
So I told her I think it’s ridiculous that she wants me to foot that bill for the new car, which will be like 800-900 for the car and insurance combined. (My city is huge on odometer fraud so we’d rather get a new car)
I told her I don’t have space in my budget for a wedding, a new car, a new apartment (which is more than 3k monthly)
I’m not happy with me spending so much cash monthly for the household while she barely has any bills and is claiming broke.
I want to ask my wife to help out on the rent, but not sure how much she should contribute considering she does 95% of the house work.
I’ll also do my share.
Let’s cut to the chase: Your wife’s financial habits are a complete disaster, and they’re putting your family’s future at risk. It’s time for some tough love and serious changes.
First things first, you need to sit your wife down and have a frank conversation about money. No more avoiding the issue or making excuses. Her student loans, credit card debt, and collection accounts are not just her problem – they’re your problem too. You’re married, which means you’re in this together.
Your wife needs to understand that her frivolous spending on parties, trips, and weddings is completely unacceptable when you’re drowning in debt. A $70k wedding? Are you kidding me? That’s a down payment on a house! It’s time for her to get her priorities straight and start acting like a responsible adult.
You need to sit down with your wife and have a frank conversation about your financial goals and priorities as a couple. This isn’t about what SHE wants anymore – it’s about what YOU BOTH need to do to secure your family’s financial future.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Create a budget together and stick to it religiously. Every dollar counts.
- Put together a debt repayment plan and tackle those student loans and credit card balances aggressively. No more minimum payments.
- Cut out all unnecessary expenses. That means no more parties, no international trips, and definitely no new car.
- Consider downsizing your lifestyle to free up more cash for debt repayment. A smaller apartment or a used car could make a big difference.
- Once you’ve made some progress on the debt, start building an emergency fund to protect against future financial shocks.
If your wife resists these changes or refuses to get on board, you need to ask yourself some tough questions about your relationship. Financial compatibility is crucial for a successful marriage, and if you can’t get on the same page about money, you’re in for a rocky road ahead. Insist on couples counseling to get on the same page.
Your wife needs to understand that her dream life is simply not possible right now. It’s time for both of you to start living within your means and working together to build a stable financial future for your family. It won’t be easy, but it’s absolutely necessary.
Remember, this isn’t about your wife’s wants anymore – it’s about your family’s needs. Take control of your finances together, get that debt paid off, and start building a life you can actually afford. You’ve got this.