My experiences with women have been terrible. No matter how much effort I put into putting myself out and listening to people’s advice, I’m always ending in the same outcome. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. I’m pretty sure it’ll almost be 10 rejections in a row.
I just can’t understand why women don’t like me. I talk to them with the intention of getting to know them and be friendly and then I’ll show romantic interest. And as soon as I do, I’m rejected.
And I’m finding it really hard to believe height and race don’t matter. People will tell me “just go outside and you’ll see short/brown people in relationships” – but just cause you see it happen sometimes doesn’t mean it’s not insanely difficult.
I was at an event a few weeks ago and was talking to this girl. It was good chemistry and I got her number and asked her out and she pretty much declined. Next week later, a 6’2 white guy who is my friend does the same thing I do, and here she is liking his stories and flirting with him.
My toxic abusive ex who used to say all kinds of emasculating things to me and belittling me for my height is dating a 6’2 guy now.
I’ve done everything. I worked hard in school for years to get a good paying job. I worked out for years to get the physique I have now. I do skincare everyday and buy good clothes. I’ve pretty much maxed my looks at this point and not sure how much more I can improve.
And I have a few female friends, but they treat me almost like a little brother, and it’s annoying that female friends won’t even recognize me as a man just because they aren’t sexually attracted to me.
I’m just exhausted from all this – you get rejected over and over again and see guys that don’t even try easily pull women that you’re pursuing and somehow you’re supposed to say “but I love women”? I don’t want to go this route but what else am I supposed to do?
First off, let me acknowledge the pain you’re experiencing. Constant rejection sucks, no matter how you slice it. It’s frustrating, demoralizing, and can make you question your own worth. So, I get it. Your feelings are valid.
However, I’m going to challenge you on a few points. Buckle up, because this might sting a little.
First I couldn’t help but notice a recurring theme in your message – you seem to view women as a monolithic entity, all operating off the same playbook. This is a flawed and frankly, dehumanizing perspective.
Women are individuals, each with their own unique preferences, desires, and boundaries. There’s no universal cheat code to make them like you. What charms one woman might repel another. Playful banter that delights one might deeply offend someone else. One woman might crave constant communication, while another finds it suffocating. Treating women as a hive mind is not only misguided, but it’s also a surefire way to continue facing rejection.
You rattle off your qualifications – your income, your gym routine, your hobbies – as if women are vending machines. Insert the right combination of coins and out pops a relationship, right? Wrong. Women are complex human beings, not puzzles to be solved or machines to be hacked.
Also, comparing your romantic success (or lack thereof) to other men’s is a recipe for misery. You’re not privy to the full picture of their lives or relationships. For all you know, that 6’2″ guy has crippling insecurity and his girlfriend belittles him daily. Height and race can confer advantages, sure, but they guarantee nothing. Plenty of tall white dudes are lonely as hell, trust me.
While it’s true that society often perpetuates harmful stereotypes and biases, it’s essential to remember that attraction is complex and multifaceted. People are drawn to different qualities and characteristics, and what one person may find attractive, another may not.
It’s also important to recognize that relationships and connections are not solely based on physical appearance. While it’s great that you’ve invested time and effort into improving yourself, true connections are built on shared values, interests, and emotional compatibility.
Most importantly, your self-worth cannot hinge on female validation. It’s an unstable foundation. You need to cultivate resilience, find meaning in your life that’s independent of your relationship status. Hobbies, friendships, career, philanthropy – invest in these areas. Become a man of depth and substance. Not to impress women, but for your own fulfillment.
The truth is, some women will like you, and some won’t. That’s life. Your task is not to figure out how to make all women want you. It’s to become secure enough in yourself that you’re not shattered by individual rejections. It’s to develop the discernment to find women who appreciate you for who you are. And it’s to cultivate the empathy and respect to treat each woman as a unique individual, not as a conquerable stereotype.
Look, I get the temptation of the Red Pill. It offers a tidy narrative for your frustrations. “Women only want chads, hypergamy is out of control, blah blah.” But it’s a toxic cop-out. At its core, Red Pill is about shirking personal responsibility and wallowing in resentment. Don’t fall for it.
There’s no shortcut here. Becoming a mature, attractive man requires hard work – facing your insecurities, challenging your biases, getting out of your comfort zone. It demands vulnerability, self-reflection, and a willingness to grow.
But this is the path to real, fulfilling connections with women – and more importantly, with yourself. Ditch the “one trick to rule them all” fantasy. Ditch the defeatist self-victimization. Roll up your sleeves and start the hard but worthy journey of becoming a man of depth, integrity, and authenticity.
The road ahead isn’t easy. But trust me – a life of authentic growth and self-actualization is infinitely better than one consumed by bitterness and delusion. You’ve got this.