Hey there! Tired of those same old boring openers on dating apps? I feel you. “Hey” and “How are you doing?” are about as exciting as watching paint dry. If you want to stand out from the sea of generic messages and actually catch your match’s interest, you gotta step up your game.
First off, take a minute to actually read their profile. I know, revolutionary concept. Look for something unique that stands out to you – maybe they have an interesting hobby, a funny prompt answer, or a travel pic that captures your attention. Use that as a jumping off point to start a real conversation.
For example, if they mention loving to hike, you could say something like “I see you’re into hiking too! What’s been your favorite trail so far? I just did a killer 8-mile trek last weekend and the views were unreal.” Boom, you’ve shown you paid attention to their profile, related it back to your own life, and given them an easy question to respond to and keep the conversation flowing.
Or let’s say they have a pic skydiving. You could go with a playful opener like “Well I guess asking if you’re down for an adventurous first date is a dumb question – looks like you’re way ahead of me in the thrill-seeking department! I’ll have to up my game. How about shark diving to start?” You’re being witty, a little flirty, and setting yourself apart from the crowd.
The key is to personalize it and give them a reason to want to respond to you. That’s what starts an actual conversation, which is the whole point, right?
Put yourself in her shoes – women on dating apps are often overwhelmed with matches and messages. If you just hit her with a “hey” or some low-effort opener, she probably won’t feel compelled to respond when she has a million other options. You didn’t give her anything to work with or a reason to choose you over the other guys blowing up her inbox.
So crack a joke, ask a thought-provoking question, make a flirty comment, share a funny story. You could even propose a fun icebreaker question like “If you had to live as an average person in any world from TV or movies, what would you choose and why?” Then follow it up with your own answer to get the ball rolling, like “I’d choose the Pokemon world, because how dope would it be to have a Charizard as a wingman? Although with my luck I’d probably end up with a Magikarp. Guess I’ll stick to Tinder for now.”
Put a little effort in and show off your personality instead of blending into the background with the same lame lines as everyone else. A little creativity goes a long way in setting you apart.
Oh, and please for the love of god, proofread your message before hitting send. No “ur” or “wyd” unless you want to get shut down real quick. A little charm and good grammar are key.
Remember, dating app convos don’t have to be a torturous chore. Have fun with it, be authentic, and treat it like striking up a conversation with a cute stranger at a bar. You got this. Now get out there and start matching!