I’m 28 and make $57,000 a year working support at a software company. I’m at a point where I genuinely don’t know what to do next, and I need perspectives from outside my own head.
Three years ago, I was $60,000 in debt and working two jobs. I lived cheaply, worked constantly, traded gold on the side, and eventually paid off everything. At the beginning of this year, I had no debt and $20,000 to $30,000 saved. I felt like I had finally turned a corner.
Then I started learning ecommerce. I paid a mentor, made my first $500 in profit, and abandoned it to return to trading.
By June, I had maxed out my credit cards and taken out a personal loan. By the end of July, I had somehow recovered everything, paid off the loan, and had $10,000 left. I thought I had finally cracked it.
Since August, I’ve lost it all.
I’m now $94,490 in debt with about $20,000 remaining.
During all of this, I flew to Thailand and proposed to my girlfriend of five years. She said yes, and we’re planning a wedding in two years. She withdrew $10,000 from her RRSP to help me.
I lost that too.
Three days ago, one of my friends died.
I don’t know how to process all of this at once. I keep checking my banking app as if the numbers might somehow change. I’ve always dreamed of making $10,000 to $20,000 a month, escaping the rat race, and building something of my own. But every time I get close, I give everything back and end up worse off.
I don’t know whether I’m someone meant for more or just someone who keeps blowing up his life and calling it ambition.
I have a legitimate, compliance first lead generation business idea that I’ve researched thoroughly. But it could take a year of evenings before it earns anything. Part of me still wants to trade because trading is the only thing that has ever moved the numbers quickly.
What would you recommend doing with the remaining $20,000? Should I return to ecommerce, trade again, or build the lead generation agency?
Stop trading.
Not after one more attempt. Not after you make back your girlfriend’s $10,000. Stop now.
The biggest problem here is not choosing between ecommerce, trading, and lead generation. It is that you keep trying to change your life quickly.
You already proved you can do the slow stuff. You worked two jobs, lived cheaply, paid off $60,000, and built savings.
Then trading gave you something that slow progress could not: the possibility of changing your life overnight.
And at this point, you need to seriously consider whether trading has become gambling for you.
Look at the pattern. You lose. You risk more. You borrow. You win it back. That convinces you that you figured it out. Then you go back with even more confidence and eventually lose more.
The most dangerous thing that happened to you might have been winning it all back in July.
Because you thought, “I cracked it.”
You didn’t. You survived it.
Now you are $94,490 in debt, you lost $10,000 of your fiancée’s retirement savings, and part of your brain is still telling you trading might be the fastest way out.
That is exactly why you cannot trade right now.
Your remaining $20,000 is not trading capital. It is not startup capital. It is not your comeback fund.
It is oxygen.
Figure out exactly what you owe, the interest rates, minimum payments, and your monthly expenses. Keep an appropriate emergency cushion and make a real debt repayment plan.
And tell your fiancée everything if she does not already know. You cannot repair losing her money by taking another huge risk and trying to secretly win it back. You repair it by becoming trustworthy with money again.
As for the lead generation business, I would build it slowly on the side while keeping your job. Do not throw your remaining $20,000 at that either.
You said it might take a year.
Good.
You have spent enough time trying to make your life change in a month.
Your friend also died three days ago. You are grieving while dealing with debt, guilt, a wedding, and enormous pressure about your future. This is not the time to make another giant financial decision.
Get some support around the trading too. Whether you ultimately call it gambling or something else matters less than recognizing that you are continuing to feel pulled toward an activity that has already caused enormous damage.
The shame is going to tell you to disappear, make all the money back, and then tell everyone once the story has a happy ending.
Do the opposite.
Tell the truth. Stop trading. Protect the cash. Face the debt. Talk to your fiancée. Keep your job. Grieve your friend. Build something slowly.
You do not need a dramatic comeback.
You need to stop blowing up your life trying to create one.