I’m 25, and it’s hard for me to believe that most people aren’t just naturally better at life than I am.
By 26, it seems like everyone has a girlfriend, a house, a job paying at least $70,000 a year, or at least two out of those three things.
Meanwhile, I take home $37,000 a year, live in a small apartment, and have no girlfriend.
I went to college, but I felt exhausted every single day. I could never seem to commit to anything or figure out how to get my life together.
I know I’m a screwup. What I don’t understand is how everyone else somehow managed not to become one.
Life is exhausting. It’s demanding, and I genuinely don’t understand how other people make it look so easy.
I feel like I’ve already failed at life, and I’m only 25.
At this point, part of me feels like I should just wait for reincarnation and hope I do better in the next life.
You’re 25 years old. You have a job, you pay your bills, you have a place to live, and you went to college.
And somehow you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a failure.
You’re comparing your entire life, including every disappointment and insecurity, to the handful of things you can see about somebody else’s life.
You see the girlfriend. You don’t see the relationship problems.
You see the house. You don’t see the mortgage, the debt, or the financial help they might have received.
You see the $70,000 salary. You don’t see the stress or the years it took to get that job.
And you’re using all of that incomplete information as evidence that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
That’s not a fair comparison.
But there’s something else in your letter that concerns me more than your salary or your relationship status.
You said you were exhausted every day in college. You couldn’t commit to anything. You still sound exhausted now.
That’s worth paying attention to.
Maybe you’ve been trying to push through something for years without getting the help you need.
Talk to a doctor or mental health professional about that exhaustion. You deserve to understand what’s happening instead of spending another five years calling yourself a screwup.
And stop treating 26 like some magical deadline when everybody is supposed to have life figured out.
Some people get married at 23 and divorced at 29. Some buy houses at 25 and lose them at 35. Some don’t find meaningful careers or relationships until their 40s.
Life isn’t a race where everyone starts at the same place with the same resources.
You’re allowed to be disappointed with where you are. You’re allowed to want more money, a relationship, and a better future.
But disappointment is not the same thing as failure.
And I want to take your last sentence seriously. If waiting for reincarnation means you’re thinking about ending your life, please tell someone you trust today. In the United States, you can call or text 988 for immediate support.
You don’t need another life.
You need support, some breathing room, and a chance to build a life that actually feels worth living to you.
And at 25, you have not run out of chances.