There’s a certain type of person who believes that the louder they get during an argument, the more convincing they become. The moment someone challenges their reasoning, their voice starts creeping upward until they’re practically screaming.
And the funny thing is, they usually walk away believing they’ve asserted their dominance, when all they’ve really demonstrated is that they have the emotional regulation skills of a toddler who just found out the ice cream machine is broken.
The problem isn’t anger itself. Anger is perfectly normal. The problem is that shouting often reveals something you’d rather keep hidden: you cannot tolerate the discomfort of not being in control.
Think about it. If your argument is good, why would you need to bully someone into accepting it? And if your argument is terrible, yelling isn’t going to magically make it intelligent.
A lot of arguments aren’t really about the thing being argued over. They’re about ego. Being challenged feels like being disrespected, and being wrong feels like being inferior. So you raise your voice to regain the upper hand, without realizing that your emotional outburst is making you look less powerful, not more.
Of course, emotional maturity doesn’t mean never getting angry. It means being able to experience anger without allowing it to dictate your behavior.
Any idiot can scream when they’re frustrated. What actually takes strength is remaining composed when your ego is begging you to lose your shit.
Because real strength isn’t about making someone else lose control. It’s about not losing control of yourself.