Since finishing having kids a few years ago, my wife has not been interested in sex – for a long time she would go though the motions for my sake but grew to resent the “chore” more and more to the point where she would avoid me like the plague and we were fighting about it all the time. She swears its not me and that its not due to bad performance etc… she just doesn’t want to.
We have done some reading and been to a counselor but it always ends up along the “learning to be nicer to her so she’ll get in the mood” lines which is rubbish for our situation. No matter how happy, relaxed, rested, etc she is, the idea of sex is an instant agitation to her and she gets mad.
Essentially… – if I try to get her in the mood, she gets pissed. – if I am super nice and thoughtful etc, she is happy but nothing happens. – if i do nothing, nothing happens.
Recently I’ve stopped asking… and the fighting has stopped and she’s happy… but Im dying inside.
Is our relationship over and we just need to cut the cord? Or is it normal and do I need to just come to terms with my sex life being over? I don’t want an affair etc, I want my wife to want a physical relationship with me… is that too much to ask?
