Life Experiences

What’s It Like To Lose Everything

November 1, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences, TRUTH |

I once had it all – literally what seemed to be the pinnacle of my life or so it seemed. We just purchased a beautiful new home in a great area of the city. Zero debt plus 6 figures in the bank. Cute new car. Great position at work. To the outside world, we seemed like the “it” couple. Then everything came crashing down.. fast and HARD!

Marriage dissolved almost overnight. I lasted ONE year in that brand new house. ONE. For reasons too long to list, my 14 yr relationship with what was supposed to be my “life” partner dissolved. And with it, I also lost my immediate family – goodbye brother and mother (dad croaked years ago).

SAME effin time, my work decided to let me go – AFTER dedicating 10 years of my life to them and being promoted 4–5xs. I didn’t see it coming at all. It was almost like I was blindsided. I was in the middle of a monster release, was working around the clock – so much so that my European counterparts were convinced I never slept. My developers, everyone was BLINDSIDED that THEY (VPs, CTO, etc) chose to cut me off. Me and my barely 6 figure salary. I believe I was paid about high $90k then.

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Confessions Of A Former Cocaine Dealer

October 23, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

cocaine dealer

I began messing with coke back in high school. Never anything major, just whenever it became available at a party or when someone would offer a line or two, “Sure let’s get tooted.”

Fast forward a few years after getting fired from a job and getting my last paycheck and I’m selling it. Now this wasn’t a spur of the moment type decision. My circle of friends since leaving high school had become mostly older cats that always had a lot of money, did what they wanted and never seemed to worry about shit. I knew what they were into but never really asked a lot of questions or asked for any myself. I was just there to hang out with my friend who basically had a house in the country that was open 24/7 for parties and weed.

This one friend in particular was a senior when I was a freshman in high school. We only met after I was out of high school and when we did finally meet it was like I knew the dude my whole life. My long lost brother that I always wanted. He was one of the most charismatic people that I’ve ever met and haven’t met anyone else like that to this day. He was hilarious, never met someone that he didn’t know and on top of it all I could hang out with him whenever, wherever and he was down for whatever. And since he was one of the popular guys in high school he introduced me to a plethora of new friends. It was fucking awesome.

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The Defeatist Ramblings From The Forever Alone Community

October 16, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences, TRUTH |

(photo: @sashafreemind)

1. All I’ve ever wanted was just to feel what it’s like to be in love, just once.

Just once. That’s it.

All I’ve ever wanted, from the age of 16, was to fall in love with a girl who would reciprocate my feelings. I’ve wanted to feel what it would be like to rest my head on her lap while she talks about her day, to give her a loving embrace after not seeing her for a couple of days, to get butterflies in your stomach when you see her coming from a distance. To watch and laugh at shitty movies in bed one weekend, to enjoy activities that you wouldn’t normally do yourself with, to listen to a love song and see her face.

Just once I want to hear a girl I’m romantically involved with say she loves me and mean it. To help me shoulder my burdens while I shoulder hers, to be each others crutch when times are rough.

I’m 26 years old and I still haven’t experienced it. I know there are many factors as to why, but I can’t help but feel bitter that this is a normal everyday thing for most people. People get in to relationships and fall in love everyday yet here we are not having experienced even a drop of it. It makes me sad, it really does.

I even thought I accepted it, but I’m a man in his prime, its in my dna to long for companionship. I don’t know what I’m aiming at with this post, but I saw a lot of posts talking about relationships so casually and how they’ve grown from it etc, something so major and normal in people’s lives yet its an enigma to us. That is so fucking disheartening. I hope one day I meet someone, but it looks incredibly bleak.

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Confessions Of A Financial Dominatrix

October 2, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

How did you get started as a financial dominatrix?

I got started when I made my Twitter profile. I post tweets about what I think of useless bitches and loser sluts. If they agree with my thoughts (which is always, because I’m always right!) they follow me.

I’ve built my following by bullying and embarrassing subs on my profile. It was never awkward because I’ve always been superior to others.

Growing up, I would bully other kids in my neighborhood. They never fought back or did anything about it because they knew I was stronger and better than them.

I financially dominate through Twitter by completely mind-fucking them. They know they are useless and pathetic bitches, I just make them admit it, then take all of their cash!

They know they don’t deserve anything in life, and they feel guilty about having any money or happiness that belongs to me.

They know I am the only one who deserves to be rich and happy, and they are willing to sacrifice and lose it all for me like the obedient pieces of shit they are.

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Confessions Of A 30 Year Old Dude Who Just Lost His Virginity

September 26, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

I am a 30 year old who has never had a relationship with a female and I’ve being suffering with depression about this fact for years, I am also not happy with how I look and I am over weight.

So this weekend I went on a holiday to a foreign country and I knew before going I was going to make an attempt to progress my situation and I started searching for sex workers in the area I was staying and even searching online for them was making me anxious as in my entire life I have kissed 2 or 3 girls and this always involved me being super drunk, so anyway I found a brothel that was a 2 minute walk from my hotel and I decided it was soo close that I could not back out of this ( I have searched for escorts online for years and always pussied out of it because I was too terrified of it)

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Confessions Of A Former Craigslist Prostitute

September 25, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

Why did you get into this line of work?

I was kicked out my parents house at 18. I had no real friends at the time, so the few people who let me stay at their place while I got back on my feet usually just let me stay for a few days, then had to send me on my way again. I had to get work quickly, but I lived in a Canadian city that was hit really hard by the recession a few years ago and there was no work to be found. Someone jokingly suggested I sell my body on craigslist. I thought it was a good idea, as I was quite desperate for money and I didn’t really think hard about what I was getting into.

After a few failed posts in the dating section, I learned about the adult advertising part and in a week, made enough money to rent out a pretty decent studio apartment to work out of and live in.

Why did you parents kick you out?

So in my family my dad’s always been abusive and hard on me and it’s been hard to deal with. I was his punching bag (sometimes literally, sometimes emotionally) during my little brother’s time battling leukemia (he has since beaten it twice, and is fine now) and I was ignored a lot and really forced to grow up earlier than most of my friends. I became rebellious and turned into one of those annoying Good Charlotte/MCR fan girls and went goth. I smoked pot, did E a few times, skipped school. I was a typical teenage punk. Hell, still am. Realized I was typing that while playing with my piercings and I’m resting my laptop on plaid ripped pants.

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Story Time With Adult Film Star Tyler Knight

September 20, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

The line of mopes wraps around the warehouse hidden in the Valley’s North Hollywood. It moves, I take a step. These men are not the chiseled, two-hundred pound studs with eight-inch-plus penises of the A-list. They will never get the call to work with even passable looking woman in a scene for a mid-tier studio, and they know it. This is the bukkake line.

Sure, I’m in line just like these mopes are, but I’m different. I’ve done scenes for top tier studios already. Christ, look at these guys, then look at me. I’m not like them. Even my shirt, the sample I modeled in the Krizia Uomo show in Milan two Springs ago, may be old but it’s a tangible link to what I’ve done. Proof of who I was. More than these mopes will ever accomplish in ten lifetimes.

Conversations include: a group scene where one mope brags about actually getting to fuck the girl for a solid minute before another mope tapped him on the shoulder to swap out; another man boasts of his one-on-one scene with a used up, twenty-year porn veteran, milf that he managed to not fuck up, which he proclaims, “We had a connection!”; to the porn parties they lie about being invited to.

The line moves. I take a step.

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What Does It Feel Like To Be A Hot Girl Who Gets Old? 

September 19, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

I was very, very hot.
 
Now I’m 61.  I’m not hot.  I’ve had two babies.  I’ve been sleep deprived most of my life.  My hair is a mess (possible Asperger’s symptom).  I have never been married, legally.   Funny, because I used to wonder how all those girls around me were ever going to find husbands, looking like that.
 
In high school, someone started a rumor I was on the cover of Seventeen.  The freshman girls began to follow me around, giggling.  They were so excited.  This went on for months.  I could see them admiring me from across the cafeteria, or down the hall.  They’d stop, to worship.  At last, one nervously came up to ask me about it.  I told her: I was a model, but not in Seventeen.  
 
If my parents had had their acts together, I could have been.  But they were dysfunctional people.  
 
I was raised with the understanding that I was important because I was beautiful.  It was not just the most important thing.  It was the only important thing.
 
Being shy, I was never comfortable with “hot”.  Back then, I assumed it was normal to walk into a restaurant and everyone would stop eating.  I took it for granted this happens all the time.
 
Then it stopped.

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Confessions Of A Dude

September 17, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

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What’s It Like To Have An Orgy While On LSD?

September 12, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Life Experiences |

So, a few years back it was that blissful time right when the last semester of college was finally over and it was time for summer. For us, summer meant getting fucked up and making memories, preferably at the same time.

My four friends (Liz, Patrick, Jamie, Sophie) and I decided we should definitely all go camping one night. We live in California and agreed that there is no better way to kick off the start of summer time than to drive up to Lake Tahoe to go camping and trip balls. All of us are at least a little into drugs, so you have five college stoners, some of us being psychedelic enthusiasts as well. All of us had tried acid before, except Sophie, who had before had only partaken in the sticky icky green, but was really interested in LSD.

It was early June and it was fucking beautiful out. The drive there was amazing, it was a clear and sunny day with a slight breeze. Once we finally arrived at our camp site, we spent a good half hour not even talking to each other and just admiring the view. It was around 3 P.M when we had set everything up. We had our tents, blankets, pillows, snacks, and other random shit we wanted to bring with us, and of course, some real good LSD that Jamie and I had saved over from a few months before.

After sitting around talking about past acid experiences while smoking a few joints, we all agreed we were ready to drop. Sophie was a bit apprehensive at first, but then curiosity got the best of her and she was in. I don’t remember exactly how much everyone took, but I know I had 300 mics. and everyone else had at least180.

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