I thought about this question for two days before replying. It can be a little difficult to put down in words considering the context. With that said, I would like to warn you, the reader, that what is about to be explained isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s not going to be pleasant. There could be trigger words or situations described that some may consider disturbing.
I have always been a sadist, for as long as I can remember. I have memories of being a small child and fantasizing about holding a knife up to whatever cartoon character I watched on TV that day and watching them squirm underneath my sharp blade. I couldn’t have been any older than 7 or 8 when these fantasies started. But they were not sexual, not yet anyhow. I just enjoyed the incredible wave of pleasure that would coarse through my body when I visualized the fear and panic in this laughably childish scene of torture.