Theodore Lee

When my husband and I first met, I weighed about 140 pounds. I was in my early twenties at the time and dealing with a lot—depression, anxiety, and drinking too much trying to fill a void. I had just gotten out of a really unhealthy relationship that had drained me.

Since then, life has happened. We got married, had a baby, and I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, hypothyroidism, and depression. Around the same time, I was put on birth control, antidepressants, and thyroid medication.

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I’ve been dating this girl for about eight months. Last Tuesday I checked my balance and noticed that $900 had disappeared. When I looked through the transaction history, there was a charge from a boutique. I’ve never shopped there, so I immediately knew something wasn’t right.

I asked my girlfriend if she knew anything about it. She got defensive right away, and after a bit of back and forth she admitted that she had used my phone while I was in the shower to buy herself a Prada bag. She didn’t ask. She didn’t mention it. She just grabbed my phone and paid for it. She knew my passcode because I trusted her.

When I told her that what she did was theft, she flipped out and said I was being dramatic. She argued that I shouldn’t care so much because I “have plenty of money sitting there anyway.”

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Best friend is turning 40. He has nothing. No savings. No house. No car. No real material possessions. No wife. No children. Average job.

He is just barely surviving paycheck to paycheck. He’s not happy with how his life is going and I can’t tell if he’s super depressed or not. I know he wants a wife or girlfriend at least, I don’t think he cares about kids (but I could be wrong).

I wanna give him some advice, but not really sure what to say. Or if there’s anything to say really.

He’s a smart dude, fit, active, etc., so it’s not like his life is a complete disaster. But I know it’s not where he wants to be, just not sure how I can help him level up??

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We’ve been married for over six years and have known each other for more than a decade. While he earns more than I do, we split all our shared expenses down the middle, including the mortgage. He covers his own subscriptions and personal spending, and I do the same.

Lately, though, he’s been asking me to pay him back for gas. For instance, if we decide to grab dinner together, he’ll make a “joke” about me owing him for the gas—even if we took separate cars and he wasn’t that interested in going out in the first place. Most recently, after dropping me off and driving my car home, he noticed it was low on fuel and filled it up. Then he sent me a photo of the receipt and asked me to reimburse him.

Is this normal behavior in a marriage?

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