Advice Column

I’m a 23F and my boyfriend is 27M. A friend recently sent me a screenshot of his profile on Grindr — and it’s unmistakably him. My stomach dropped when I saw it. I’m shocked, hurt, and honestly have no idea what to make of it. We’ve been together almost two years, and this is the last thing I ever expected.

I haven’t confronted him yet because I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know if he’s cheating, experimenting, or if something else is going on. I just need advice on how to approach this and what to say when I finally talk to him.

[Read more…] about “Found out my boyfriend is on Grindr and I don’t know what to do”

My partner is 40 and has nothing saved for retirement. He had been expecting a large inheritance from his father when he passed that ended up not materializing for reasons I won’t get into (I know, not exactly the most sound financial planning). I’m on track to be able to retire but there’s no way I can afford to save enough for us both. He’s also currently unemployed, he has been trying to get into a new field for the past two years that also may not end up materializing either. There’s a good chance he may be making very low wages for the foreseeable future, and it will be very difficult for him to catch up in any meaningful way.

[Read more…] about “My partner has no retirement savings and I’m afraid for our future”

I am wondering why so many places recommend saving such large amounts of money, $1 million or more, for retirement. If social security pays $40k per year, and Medicare exists, what is that $1 million being used for?

[Read more…] about “Do you really needa to save for retirement if you’re getting social security?”

My wife (39F) and I (30M) both work full-time, but I’m the only one paying for everything in our household. I cover the mortgage, utilities, groceries, her personal expenses, her phone and any cost that comes up. She keeps her entire salary for herself doesnt contribute. She makes about half of what I do if it helps.

[Read more…] about “My wife refuses to contribute financially even though we both work full-time.”

We’ve been married 7 years together for almost a decade. Last month she mentioned that an old college friend (guy) added her on Facebook. No big deal they were part of the same friend group back then but since then, I’ve noticed she’s been texting him a lot. Nothing flirty or explicit, but it’s frequent random memes, latenight how’ve you been chats etc.

I stumbled on a message where she said she missed the old days. That line just hit me weird. I asked her about it once and she brushed it off, said I was being paranoid. She’s never cheated, and we’ve always had good trust but lately she’s been more protective of her phone, and I can’t help wondering where this goes. I don’t want to accuse her unfairly but it’s eating at me.

[Read more…] about “My wife reconnected with an old college friend and it’s making me uncomfortable”

Hi everyone. I’m 28, male. Since I was about 19, I’ve neglected everything except gaming. I’ve gained weight, struggled with gaming addiction, apathy, and depression.

I have no formal education, hobbies, or money for therapy. Every attempt to fix this on my own has failed. I don’t have family or irl friends, just online connections.

[Read more…] about “I ended up being a loser”

My parents gave me (I’m 17) a monthly payment plan to pay the back for the past years of raising/feeding/everything me. I do have a part time job (still in school) and already give them part of what I earn but this is beyond anything I can afford. I’d never be able to move out I think.

They’re very much holding onto that they’re allowed to do this. That now that I have a job I’m supposed to be paying. They also say I agreed to this when I was younger but I don’t remember, but this could be true. Is there a way they can make it so I legally have to do it?

[Read more…] about “My parents want me to pay them back for raising me”

My wife of 4 years suddenly does not want kids.. I feel devastated. I can’t tell my family or friends because I don’t want them to judge her.. I feel so alone and depressed. I love her and I know I can’t leave her but how do I get back to my ild happy self? I feel so lost.

[Read more…] about “Wife changed her mind on having kids.”

My wife (34) and I (42) have been together 10 years, married for 7. She just got back from a trip to Paris and London with her sister to visit family. Everything seemed normal until she mentioned that a guy hit on her during the trip, asked for her number, and invited her back to his place—she said she told him “hell no.”

Later, I checked her phone just to see if there were any messages related to that interaction. Instead, I found a Hinge verification text, a recent search for “best dating apps in London,” and saw she had downloaded Hinge back in Oct 2023 and even paid the $49 subscription. I also saw she downloaded Bumble as recently as this March.

[Read more…] about “My wife used Hinge while on a girls trip”