Life Experiences

What Does It Feel Like To Go From Being Wealthy To Being Poor?

January 24, 2018 1 Comment

The global financial crisis destroyed me in 2008. The years immediately after were some of the worst years of my life. I lost everything; or at least I thought I did.

As it turns out, I didn’t lose much at all (assuming you don’t count approximately $3 million in real estate equity and a couple of hundred thousand dollars in cash, as “much”).

I was in Vegas when Lehman Brothers folded… It was my birthday … and it was the first time I’d ever lost big there. I should have known something wicked was coming, but I didn’t. So when my consulting contract didn’t get renewed, I didn’t panic. I kept doing business as usual. When my tenants defaulted on rent, I kept paying mortgages. A year later, I still had $50,000 plus in the bank … enough of a cushion.

What’s It Like To Date A Model

December 19, 2017 4 Comments

I dated a model during what you might call her “declining” years. I put that in quotes because to a normal person the idea is absurd. Models have a shelf-life of maybe 10 years, 15 if they are lucky. Once a model hits 30, the modeling industry considers her old and used up, and there is no shortage of eager 15- and 26-year-olds from Eastern Europe who are willing to work longer hours, fly more places, and get paid far less. Almost every model in her late 20s (including the woman I dated) begins to worry incessantly (when she isn’t worrying about nonexistent eye wrinkles) about how to make herself into a “brand” and transition into being a supermodel, which is pretty much the only post modeling career available to you in this line of work.

Confessions Of A Dude Who Spent 11 Years In Prison

October 19, 2017 3 Comments

What happened?

Basically I was obsessed with a girl from school. Like psycho obsessed, and when I finally developed the courage to ask her out, she said no. I fucking snapped and went to her house in a kinda hostage situation and stabbed her. Horrible shit man. I have horrible remorse for it. She is “ok” in that she is alive and well, but what I did to her will last forever

What’s your background story? Drugs, broken home, mental disorders? What made you become that kid that would shoot up your school if given the chance? Were you the weird kid or was this kinda out of no where type of shocking news to everyone around you type of thing?

To be kinda quick about it, my dad was very abusive. He would beat the fuck out of my mother and us. I was severely overweight my entire life, had no friends at all. I stayed in my room and played video games nearly every day. Therapy wasn’t an option, because men don’t go to therapy. I had this intense rage built up for so long that it kinda exploded. Btw, I’m not blaming them, because plenty of people have grown up with those same problems. I made a choice and I had to own that

What Is It Like When One Of Your Parents Gets Alzheimer’s?

October 17, 2017 1 Comment

I knew right away that something was different. My 74 year old mother and I had been very close all my life. (She lived with my family.) When her personality started to change I couldn’t understand why. She loved crafts, gardening, singing, piano, anything creative, but all of a sudden she wasn’t interested in her hobbies. She just wanted to sit in her chair and watch TV. We started to argue. It reminded me of when I was a teenager 25 years earlier, how we would squabble over stupid things. Then she would get angry at the littlest thing and slam her bedroom door in my face.

Nothing made sense, why was she changing? Was she mad at me? Was she depressed? Should I take her to a doctor?

One day she would be grumpy and then the next she would seem fine and we would go shopping for new flower bushes, have a great lunch out and come home laughing. Cook a ham, play some scrabble, help the kids with homework, she was an integral part of the family. I kept thinking… oh good, it’s all over now.
[Read more…] about What Is It Like When One Of Your Parents Gets Alzheimer’s?

What Is It Like For A Woman To Go From Physically Unattractive To Attractive

September 19, 2017 4 Comments

It feels good most of the time, but it can be quite frustrating. Many people assume I’ve always looked the way I do now, and that as a result I must be a snob, or have some sort of sense of entitlement.

My case is extreme in the sense that I went from literally being invisible to men for the majority of my life, to receiving comments daily from men all over the world telling me I’m beautiful. As an adult film performer I am somewhat in the public eye, so I get a lot of attention for and comments about my appearance.