Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

September 22, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Jack Canfield once said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”And he’s right. But I’m going to take it one step further.

Pain, discomfort, shock, boredom, impostor syndrome, awkwardness, fear, being wrong, failing, ignorance, looking stupid: your avoidance of these feelings is stopping you from a life beyond your wildest imagination.

These are the feelings that accompany a life of success. And yet, these are the very feelings you relentlessly avoid!

Wealth, optimal health, incredible relationships, deep spiritual maturity are all available to you. But you have to pay the price to have these things. The primary obstacle in your way is how you feel about what you need to do to have these things.

Most people aren’t willing to feel difficult emotions on a regular basis. However, if you’re willing to disregard how you feel in the moment, you’ll have access to a world of opportunity unavailable to 99% of the population.

When you feel the fear and do it anyways, you get the satisfaction of living life on your terms. Instead of being a hostage to your emotions, you get to experience them more deeply.

Hilariously, once you break past the emotional blocks and just act, it’s never as bad as you think it will be.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 21, 2017 | 3 Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

"I met this girl in January of this year at the start of the second semester at our university when we worked in one of the rec centers together. She was a freshman and I was a Junior. She started college a semester late (she said because of family issues) and said she was nervous about it, so I decided to show her around a bit. We got lunch a few times during the first month on campus and I gave her tours of the campus. We hit it off immediately and I knew I was in love instantly. Well, long story short, I asked her our and she said no. I was heartbroken, but she agreed to still be friends (unfortunately, I don’t have evidence of this since the conversation was in person). I tried several times throughout the semester to show her what she meant to me, but she ignored me and all the thought I put into the gifts I gave her. We had a falling out that involved me drunk calling her and her telling me to leave her alone when I tried to explain.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 20, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” ~Sonya Parker

I am a sucker for saying yes.

Sometimes I even find myself thinking “no, no, no, no” and then I blurt out “yes.”

Why is it so difficult to say the word “no”? It’s just a word, right?

After feeling trapped for some time by my excessive urge to be agreeable, it got me thinking.

I asked myself why it was so important for me to please everyone, to the point that I would feel resentful and stressed because of it.

I realized I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. I was afraid that every time I did this, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude.

Having people think negatively of me is the ultimate rejection. Whether they say what they think of me, out loud or not, does not matter to me. It is the thought that they look down on me.

And so I realized exactly why I found it so difficult to say no.

I realize this is not just a challenge that I face, but one that many people go through every day. It’s a heavy burden to carry because with the urge to say yes also comes a lack of self-confidence and self-value.

If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no, this may help.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 19, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Life is simpler than we allow it to be because to make it complicated is to gives us an excuse for not solving the problem, and the problems are many, but typically black and white.

Clarity is relatively easy is we’re aware of both ourselves, how we think and our worldview, but also of the idea that there are usually two ways to treat things.

This isn’t not seeing things with an open mind because you’re focused on two possible outcomes, but seeing a good and a bad.

There is ALWAYS a good and a bad.

There’s always an opportunity just like there’s always a weak path to take.

You can be life’s bitch, or have it be yours.

You can constantly feel the stress or the pressure of life, or you can CHOOSE to see the opportunity, the avenues for appreciation, the glimmer of hope.

Most don’t see the choice nor do they make the strong one. Instead, they let their emotions and their brains guide them down the self-pity rabbit-hole that’s one big self-fulfilling prophecy in that they feel down or they think they’re hard done by or that the event is anger-worthy, and they do as they think.

The strong choice is always positive, it always sees that challenge, the thing we can fight against, not the curse. The key is trying your best to find this challenge instead of allowing your brain to bring you down.

You can’t afford to be down. You can’t afford to be lazy. You can’t afford to pity yourself or to blame others. You need every waking moment because to not use every waking moment is to waste, and you don’t waste.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 18, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Have you ever noticed how you can hold on to past mistakes long after they occurred? Some of us hold on to things for years!

Forgiveness is a process. It does not happen over night and the process will be different for everyone. But no matter how long it takes, there’s hope! Here are some steps you can take toward that journey:

1. Become clear on your morals and values as they are right now.

The reason most of us feel guilt or shame for actions done in the past is because those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. Our past wrongs can actually clue us in to what we hold important. By identifying our morals and values, we start to get a clearer picture as to “why” we’re hurting over what we’ve done, or what others did to us.

2. Realize that the past is the past.

This seems fairly straightforward, but when we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can’t undo the past, the past is done, those things happened, we open ourselves up to more acceptance. Increased acceptance can lead to the emotional healing we are all looking for.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 15, 2017 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Man-Up |

You can either get tougher with each passing day, or weaker. You can become more ambitious, more daring, your dreams and goals more audacious, or you can become more fearful and more complacent, you can get caught in the monotony trap that are the safe zones we willingly confine ourselves to by having small goals and thinking small thoughts and being little bitches, unwilling to venture beyond what we know we can do.

You are your habits and your habits go so far as to also be your reactions. How you react to events, to things that happen throughout your day, even to opportunities, becomes habitual.

Are you being habitually courageous or are you being a little bitch?

Think about that. I love that phrase ‘little bitch’ because it calls out very harshly our reality. And often times the answer is mixed. By not calling out our weaknesses we rationalize it, habitualizing it, making it who we are and with time passing so quickly year after year it isn’t long before we regret more than we appreciate.

We can decide to be whatever we want to be simply by controlling our choices and choosing to act as a warrior rather than a worrier or a cower. Few take this ability and run with it. Most choose to play the role of the victim because it’s far easier to excuse yourself from battle than it is to enter the arena of life.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 14, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

August 12, 1986

Hello John:

Thanks for the good letter. I don’t think it hurts, sometimes, to remember where you came from. You know the places where I came from. Even the people who try to write about that or make films about it, they don’t get it right. They call it “9 to 5.” It’s never 9 to 5, there’s no free lunch break at those places, in fact, at many of them in order to keep your job you don’t take lunch. Then there’s overtime and the books never seem to get the overtime right and if you complain about that, there’s another sucker to take your place.

You know my old saying, “Slavery was never abolished, it was only extended to include all the colors.”

And what hurts is the steadily diminishing humanity of those fighting to hold jobs they don’t want but fear the alternative worse. People simply empty out. They are bodies with fearful and obedient minds. The color leaves the eye. The voice becomes ugly. And the body. The hair. The fingernails. The shoes. Everything does.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 13, 2017 | 1 Comment » | Topics: Man-Up |

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last” and perhaps you’ve experienced it as you watch pushy, inconsiderate guys get the job you want or get the romantic attention of someone you’ve been pining for. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but when you’re so nice to everyone that you stop being nice to yourself, your efforts can backfire. Here are some ways to show people that you value yourself and that they should value you, too.

1. Know the signs of being a “Nice Guy”.

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