Advice Column

My partner is in a college and work training program, and he has been struggling for a while. He was recently referred to student support to be evaluated for possible learning or mental disabilities. As part of that process, he took an IQ test and scored a 72.

I was not completely surprised. He often has trouble with basic tasks and can seem to lack common sense. I have always tried to look at him with compassion and assumed he just needed more time to learn or mature. But seeing that number made something shift in me. It no longer feels like this is just about immaturity.

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My wife and I have been together for nine years. Today I went to hug her from behind and noticed she was texting someone. I watched for a few seconds and saw the name was “Kal,” someone she said was from work.

I asked who Kal was. She immediately jumped and said it was a female coworker who had bought her shampoo, even showing me the shampoo as proof. But the name sounded like a man’s name, so I asked if Kal was a woman. She insisted yes.

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I am a 46 year old man, and I am terrified that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I have never been married, and I do not have kids. I have been on a few dates over the years, but nothing has ever turned into a meaningful relationship. I am open to dating apps, but I have never had much success with them. Matches are rare, and even when I do get one, it usually does not lead anywhere. In person I am friendly and polite, but I have always struggled to show romantic interest or make the first move.

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We have a newborn, and my husband is such a deep sleeper that his agreed upon night shift barely happens. The baby will start fussing and sucking on his sleeves because he’s hungry, but my husband won’t wake up. Sometimes he’ll briefly wake up, shush the baby for a few seconds, and go right back to sleep. The baby stays hungry, I stay awake listening to it, and eventually I have to shake my husband awake and practically beg him to feed our son so I can get back to sleep.

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My wife and I have been married for 18 years, and we have children together. I recently received an anonymous email telling me that she had cheated on me with my best friend and had sent him intimate photos and messages.

When I confronted her, she initially acted like she did not know what I was talking about. She eventually admitted that something happened, but says she does not remember exactly when it happened or how many times. She says it was at least twice.

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Recently my girlfriend, 29, and I, 31, started talking about remodeling the kitchen in the house we have both been living in for about a year. I bought the house about three years ago, and she moved in with me a year ago after we had been dating for a little over two years.

As we discussed the remodel and the features we wanted to include, the topic of the budget came up. In my mind, we were going to split the costs. Maybe not equally, but something closer to 60 percent from me and 40 percent from her.

I was surprised when she said she did not feel comfortable putting money into the house because it legally belongs to me. She thought I should be responsible for financing most of the renovation.

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