Caveman Circus

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Advice Column

“I spent 14 years waiting for a man who never really chose me”

I had an affair with a married man for 14 years. The pattern was always the same. He would disappear for months at a time to recommit to his marriage, then come back saying he loved me, couldn’t forget me, and wanted me in his life. This happened over and over again.

Last September he finally got caught and was kicked out of the marriage. He told me to be patient and give him space while he figured out what he wanted because he didn’t want me to be a rebound. Even then, he still came to see me a few times.

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“My sister is 28, makes $150K and lives at home”

My sister lives a really sheltered life. She’s 28, makes around $150k as a lawyer, paid off law school fast, and still lives at home. She’s never lived on her own, never really dated, and spends most of her time either with my parents or the same friends she’s had since high school. She’s terrified of “stranger danger” and avoids taking risks in life.

What frustrates me is how differently we were treated. When I was 20 and barely making $40k, my parents started talking about charging me rent. Meanwhile my sister pays for basically nothing besides her own phone and car insurance. My parents buy her things, take her on vacations, let her live completely expense free, and basically cushion her entire life. I also found out my mom lied to me about my sister supposedly paying rent.

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“Am I Wrong for Not Wanting My 17 Year Old Daughter Going Out Alone with Friends?”

I have a 17 year old daughter who wants to go out alone with her friend. They are both 17. I would be dropping my daughter off and her friend’s mom would also be dropping her daughter off, and we would both pick them up afterward. They want to do something simple like go to the mall, bowling, or go running.

My daughter has never really given me a reason not to trust her. She works, is responsible, and even offered to keep me updated throughout the day. The problem is that whenever she hangs out with friends or goes to sleepovers, I usually tell her she needs to include her older sister or the whole family. I’ve told her before that if she has a problem including her sisters when hanging out, then maybe she’s not really for her family.

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“My dad burnt through my inheritance”

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I’m a 22 year old guy and my grandma passed away about seven years ago. She left me and my brother around $100,000 each in a trust fund. My dad was in charge of it until we turned 25. Apparently my grandma set it up so we couldn’t access the money unless it was for school or medical reasons before that age.

My brother just turned 25 and my dad called us to admit he gambled away both trust funds at casinos over the course of a few years. He also left our family a while back and was living in another state, probably using our inheritance to survive.

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“My fiancé has some huge request in order for him to regain his trust. Is his request too far?”

We’ve been together for six years. Around year three, I cheated on my boyfriend with a close family friend. At the time I had started taking my relationship for granted and honestly didn’t value what I had. He found out and broke up with me. We were apart for months and during that time I realized how good of a partner he really was.

I begged for another chance and eventually he took me back, but I had to promise I would never speak to the guy again. Since getting back together, I have never cheated again and I genuinely haven’t wanted to. I finally understood what I had and I’ve been committed to the relationship ever since.

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“Most People Are Nothing but Mindless Parrots”

Let’s be real—most people don’t actually think. They just absorb whatever garbage their favorite influencers, news sources, or social circles feed them and regurgitate it like brain-dead parrots. You ever notice how the same buzzwords, phrases, and so-called “hot takes” spread like a virus? That’s because the vast majority of people lack the ability (or the balls) to form their own opinions.

People don’t analyze, they don’t question—they repeat. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or even basic everyday conversations, all they do is mimic the loudest voices around them. They pretend to be “educated” and “informed,” but the second you challenge their views with actual logic, they either crumble or scream in emotional panic.

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“Got into my first relationship. Are they ALL going to be this draining?”

I’m a 28 year old guy and this is my first real relationship. My girlfriend is 27, and honestly, I’m starting to worry that I was not ready for this.

She has a lot of mood swings, and I constantly feel like I have to manage her emotions and keep her happy. On some of my days off, we spend over 10 hours on the phone together one on one, then we jump into voice chat with friends until late at night. Even after all that, she still gets upset if I do not call her before bed, even when I’m exhausted or just need time alone. I’m not a very social person, and it feels overwhelming, especially on work nights when I have to wake up early.

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“Im in love with my best friend but she doesn’t feel the same way”

For seven years, I’ve been living with my best friend, a woman who has been my rock through unimaginable loss. We met during a dark time in my life—after losing my mom and grandmother in quick succession—and quickly became inseparable. We’ve traveled, lived together (in separate rooms), gone to church, and done almost everything as a pair.

The problem? I’m deeply in love with her, but she doesn’t feel the same. Early on, she told me she wasn’t interested in dating until she was 40, and despite my hope that her feelings would change, they haven’t. She values our friendship but says she doesn’t feel the romantic “spark.”

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“Do I tell the neighbor that their teenage daughter sneaks out every night?”

Their daughter leaves from their backyard after 11pm and cuts thru our yard and driveway almost every night (to avoid their camera). She walks to the corner and gets picked up by the same car and gets dropped off after sunrise and sneaks back thru the gate. Our cameras going off wake us at night as we would like to know if someone is outside our house with bad intentions. It used to happen every once in a while but it’s been every night recently.

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“I thought I gave a meaningful speech at my sister’s wedding but people are mad”

I’m 32 and single. This past weekend was my sister’s wedding, and things have gotten tense since.

For context, my sister was previously married at 24, and that marriage only lasted about a year. It ended badly with a lot of arguing. From my perspective, she rushed into it and ignored advice from family. We’ve never really talked about it as a family, which I’ve always found strange because it clearly says something about decision making.

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