Advice Column

I’m 34F and my partner is 46M. We’ve been together a little over two and a half years, and I just found out I was the other woman the entire time.

For a while I had this gut feeling something wasn’t right. He would always mention his “former partner,” saying they stayed close because of their history and that they were basically family now. I asked questions here and there, but he always made it sound reasonable and I didn’t have any real evidence, so I tried to trust him.

A few days ago I asked to borrow his tablet to look something up, and he told me he didn’t own one. That immediately felt suspicious because I had seen it before at his place. After he left for work, I looked around and found it in a drawer. I shouldn’t have opened it, but I did.

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My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been dating for 3 months. She’s super cool and it’s all going really well, so I thought it was time to introduce her to my friends from school back home.

Some things to note about my girlfriend: she’s quite petite, probably about 5ft, and she dresses like (I quote) a “kids’ TV presenter.” She also gets very excited about things very easily. This means that she often gets read as being a lot younger than she actually is, which can be annoying but is also hilarious as she’s probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever met. It’s an odd contradiction but I think it’s really cute.

When we got to my hometown, we decided to meet my friends at a local park which has a lake and a set of gardens. It had been raining the day before and the ground was still pretty wet, but we planned on walking around the lake with my friends. We got there and everyone seemed to like my girlfriend and they all got on well.

[Read more…] about “I tried to “protect” my girlfriend and ended up humiliating her”

If you want to attract a quality girl you have to be a desirable, fit, put together man etc etc.

As female behavior trends ever more downward, the pool of desirable females shrinks ever more.

A shrinking pool of desirable females means male competition becomes more fierce and the male arms race intensifies.

[Read more…] about “The dating pool is broken”

I regularly visit a strip club in my area and for the past few months, I’ve been seeing one particular dancer, “Amber” (not her real name). In addition to tipping her and getting dances I buy Amber at least one drink every shift. She always requests the same thing – a screwdriver made with a certain brand of vodka.

Last night, I went in and Amber sat with me as usual. I ordered Amber’s drink from the bartender and got one for myself as well. But when I sipped it I didn’t taste any alcohol at all despite having seen the bartender pour from the same bottle she used to make Amber’s drink. Amber excused herself to freshen up and after the bartender walked away I grabbed the bottle and poured some into the empty glass. As I suspected, it wasn’t vodka, it was plain WATER.

[Read more…] about “I thought a dancer was drinking with me and now I feel cheated”

I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for almost a year now. Before we became official, we were friends for at least 4 years.

Other than my girlfriend, the second most important person in my life is my best friend (24F). We’ve been best friends for more than a decade, and she’s been there for me for all my lowest points. I literally would not have survived this long without her.

Our relationship is purely platonic. I admit that I’ve had a crush on her before, but we both admitted that it would be better for us to stay as best friends, and that was that.

[Read more…] about “I made my girlfriend cry for admitting that my best friend is more attractive than her”

I (47F) lost my spouse about three years ago and I have a 17-year-old son.

When my spouse died, he left me a large inheritance and told me to trust his advisor. About a year later, I sold our long-time home for a great price and used the inheritance plus the sale proceeds to buy a coastal house we’d always dreamed about.

I had never handled a home purchase or major finances on my own, and I didn’t anticipate the ongoing costs. The advisor strongly warned me against the move. I stopped taking his calls and hired a new money manager who promised extremely high returns.

[Read more…] about “I spent my son’s college fund to save our house”

I’m 27F and my boyfriend is 30M. We’ve been together a little over two years, live together, and split bills evenly. We don’t share accounts. I make about $15k more than him, but he has a stable job and always pays his share.

The issue started this week when he said he wants us to be “fully transparent” financially since we’re talking about getting engaged. I thought he meant reviewing credit reports or discussing financial goals. Instead, he asked for my online banking login so he could “see everything in real time.”

I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. He said couples planning a future shouldn’t have private money and that refusing means I’m hiding something. I told him I’m not hiding anything — I just don’t want someone else able to access my account or track every purchase I make. He said he wouldn’t touch anything, he just wants “visibility.”

[Read more…] about “My boyfriend says I’m hiding something because I won’t share my bank account”

My wife cheated on me, and what I can’t understand is that she still wants to stay friends with the man she had the affair with.

About two or three years ago, I was dealing with serious health problems that led to depression. During that time, my wife says she felt I was pushing her away and that I didn’t love her anymore. That wasn’t true — I was struggling physically and emotionally and didn’t handle it well.

She eventually confessed the affair and was very emotional about it. She says she still loves me and wants to work on our nearly 20-year marriage. We’ve talked through a lot, and I’m trying to process everything.

But she doesn’t want to cut ties with this man. When I asked her to delete his number and stop contacting him, she said, “Why? He’s not my enemy.” She told me she used to talk to him about our problems and that he “felt sorry” for her.

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I was at a wedding and one of my cousins who has a very outgoing, joking personality was there. I haven’t seen him for a long time and back when I saw him more frequently, we used to drink a lot together. I was looking forward to getting thrashed at the wedding.

We talked for a bit and I offered to get him a drink and he said something like, “haha, I stopped drinking awhile ago, doctor told me I was on my way to getting cirrhosis.”

Now anyone who knows him will know he was the biggest drinker, so I figured he was joking, and he framed it humorously so I just joked around with him and told him, “alright I’ll get a ginger ail for you.”

I ordered a vodka soda for us and after he took a couple of sips, he freaked out and said “wait does this have alcohol?” I laughed and told him it does and he ran off.

[Read more…] about “I accidentally gave vodka to a former alcoholic”

My ex-husband and I are divorced and both have new partners. Our daughter is 19 and lives with him. She has been spending time with his partner for almost a year, and they planned a trip together. My ex-husband is not involved.

I know our daughter is an adult and that there are no safety concerns. Rationally, I understand that. Emotionally, though, I’m really struggling with the idea of my daughter traveling with my ex’s partner. It brings up a lot of pain and feelings I don’t feel proud of.

I have already talked to my daughter and told her honestly that the situation hurts me, but that I accept that she wants to go on the trip. I didn’t ask her to cancel it, because I didn’t want to put her in the position of having to choose between her own plans and my feelings.

[Read more…] about “I can’t stand my daughter bonding with my ex’s partner”