Category: Advice Column

About a year ago, my wife confessed that she gave a guy oral sex on a night out. We have looser boundaries than most couples, but this clearly crossed them. There’s a small chance her drink was spiked, but we don’t know for sure.

We went to marriage therapy, and I decided to stay for the sake of our family. I don’t feel like I can forgive it, though, because that would make it feel like it was okay.

My husband is planning a world tour with his friend. It would be his first time doing something like this. We have three young kids, ages 8, 5, and 2, and I would be home with them while he travels.

He says he doesn’t want to travel with kids because it’s too hectic, so instead of planning something for us as a family, he wants to do this trip without us. He keeps explaining that he’ll be using points for everything, so he’s not technically spending money on flights or hotels. He wants to fly first class because the points are expiring this year and he wants to experience it.

I’m 30 and my boyfriend is 31. We’ve been together for six years and living together for five. Before we dated, we were friends for two years. I love him a lot. He’s my best friend and I’ve always seen a future with him.

From the very beginning, I’ve been clear that I don’t want kids. I don’t hate kids, I just don’t want to be a mom. I’ve never hidden that. It’s something I’ve talked about openly, even with our friend group.

A few days ago, I had a job event where I had to go alone and spend the night away. My girlfriend mentioned she might have a girls’ night while I was gone but wasn’t too sure yet.

Anyway, the next day after my event, I texted her that I was driving home. She didn’t respond because her phone was dead and she was still sleeping.

When I was almost home, she called me and asked where I was. After telling her I was almost home, she informed me that there were three guys I had never met or heard of at our place and that I should come in and meet them.

I’m struggling with what to do about a longtime friend.

We’ve known each other since we were kids, and he used to be one of the closest people in my life. But over time, things have changed. I’ve grown up, gotten married, and built a more stable life, while he hasn’t really moved forward. He still lives at home, drinks heavily, uses drugs, and seems stuck in the same cycle.

We drifted apart for about eight months, partly because I chose to create distance. Every time we talked, I felt drained. The conversations lacked depth and often revolved around his habits. It felt like I was putting in energy without getting anything meaningful back.

I am a 40 year old woman and I have decided not to attend my daughter’s wedding.

I already have plans at my church that were scheduled months in advance. I take my commitments seriously and I do not cancel unless I am physically ill. My daughter and my dad planned this wedding quickly because they do not approve of her living situation. They knew I had these plans but scheduled it anyway. My dad suggested I move my church plans to the next day, but I prefer my church. I was also not included in any of the wedding planning, even though I am her mother.