Advice Column

My husband (29M) and I (27F) took in my best friend (22F) and her 3-year-old daughter after she had a bad breakup. We already have three kids—two boys (11 and 7) and a girl (4)—and live in a 3-bedroom, 1.5-bath house.

When my friend moved in, we didn’t set a timeline—just that she’d stay until she was back on her feet. It’s been three months. At first, she and her daughter stayed in the living room, but after a while, I convinced my husband and the boys to let them use the boys’ room. Our daughter moved into our bedroom with us, and my friend took over the boys’ room.

[Read more…] about “I let my best friend to move in to my family home.”

I’m looking for advice, especially from people in cross-cultural relationships or familiar with Vietnamese traditions.

I’m from a Western country and my girlfriend is from a village near Hanoi. We’ve been together almost two years, and I’m ready to marry her and bring her to live with me. I’m prepared to support her as she adapts and looks for work.

We’re running into conflict over wedding costs. She’s asking for a $10,000 dowry and says a traditional wedding will cost at least another $10,000. She also mentions that some weddings in her village cost $40,000–$75,000, including dowry.

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I’m a 30-year-old man, and I have a job I don’t like. Every day feels the same, and I don’t see any value in the work I do. I’ve tried to find a new job, but I can’t even make it past the first round of interviews.

I can’t quit either, because I’m the only one in my family earning money.

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I’m almost 20 and just went on my very first date this week. I was incredibly nervous beforehand, but the date went amazingly well. Since then, I can’t stop thinking about them—I’m glued to my phone, hoping for a text, responding instantly, and feeling jittery when I don’t hear back.

[Read more…] about “Is it weird to be crazy about someone after 1 date?”

He’s always seen me as “less than.” Different background, different upbringing. Nothing I did was good enough. Things boiled over last Christmas when his iPad went missing. He accused me of stealing it—because I’d been “alone” in the house (I wasn’t; I was helping my MIL in the kitchen). He called the cops and humiliated me in front of everyone. Then he smeared me online, accusing me of theft, which cost me a job opportunity.

[Read more…] about “My father-in-law led a smear campaign against me and came between me and my wife”

I’ve been married for five years, and I love my wife—but lately, I’ve been feeling discouraged. She frequently compares me to other men she sees on social media. It could be a dad who’s more “hands-on,” a husband who’s more romantic, or a guy who’s more successful.

It’s usually subtle—“Look how sweet this is” or “Wow, he really makes time for his kids”—but I can’t help feeling like I’m constantly falling short. I already try hard to be a good husband and father, but now I feel like I’m competing with carefully curated versions of strangers online.

[Read more…] about “My wife likes to compare me to other men/fathers that she sees on social media”

I’m 20, living at home with my mom, and struggling to move forward. I’ve been putting off signing up for summer classes at my community college for weeks. For the past year, I’ve blamed my lack of motivation and productivity on my porn addiction. I’m open about it, but lately I’m wondering if that’s just an excuse. Maybe the real problem is me.

I don’t feel excited about college or any particular career path. Even my hobbies have suffered — every creative project drags on for months when I know I could finish it in a week. I feel stuck, unmotivated, and unsure how to change.

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I’m 5’8″ and weigh 172 lbs—about 7 lbs more than when I married my wife 4 years ago. She says I’m an attractive person but admits she’s no longer sexually attracted to me because of my weight gain.

For 2 years, she said our lack of sex was due to an emotional disconnect. Now she’s saying it’s because of my body. I can’t help but wonder—can 7 lbs really be a dealbreaker? Is this an excuse for something deeper? She’s never commented on my physique before and isn’t vain, but this feels sudden.

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My (25M) wife (24F) is going on an overnight hiking trip with a male coworker. I trust her completely and don’t think she’d cheat, but the situation is making me feel uneasy.

We’ve always had a secure relationship when it comes to opposite-gender friendships. I have female friends, she has male friends, and it’s never been a problem. But lately, she’s gotten very close to this coworker—they message constantly, hang out after work for drinks (often without inviting me), and it feels like I’m competing for her attention.

[Read more…] about “My wife is traveling alone with another man”

I’m a 45-year-old man, happily married for 20 years. My wife (43) is my best friend. We recently relocated for work, and I’ve been partnered at my new job with a 32-year-old colleague who’s also married.

Over the past year, we’ve built a strong, productive rapport—complementary skills, long hours, great results. Management pairs us often. But after a recent trade show, something shifted. We spent the week side by side, and during our long conversation on the way home, I realized I was crushing on her—hard.

[Read more…] about “I’m happily married, but crushing on a co-worker?”