
If your intention is to raise a child who second-guesses their every move, who scans the world for signs of disapproval, you don’t need dramatic gestures. All it really takes is to make love something they have to earn. Let your affection ebb and flow with their behavior—offer a smile or a kind word only when they’ve done something to make you proud, but let disappointment settle in the silence whenever they falter. In time, your child will learn to measure themselves by your moods, to wonder if today is a day they’re worthy of being hugged or a day to keep their distance.









