Caveman Circus

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“I can’t make more money or I will lose my benefits”

I’m 32, a mom to two young kids, and I feel completely stuck.

I work as a dog groomer in an Ohio town and bring in just under $23,000 a year. We get by thanks to government assistance — SNAP, Medicaid, and a housing voucher. I know some people look down on that, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s the only reason I can afford rent and groceries right now.

Lately, I’ve been told that I should try to earn more or find a better job — but if I do that, I lose the help. And the truth is, the extra money wouldn’t come close to replacing what we’d be losing. Just the jump in rent alone would put me underwater. It doesn’t feel like a step forward. It feels like a trap.

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You Can’t Out-Perform Your Childhood Wounds

There comes a point in adulthood when the life you’ve built—no matter how shiny, successful, or stable it looks on the outside—starts to feel hollow. You’ve got the job. Maybe the house, the partner, the title, the car. People look at you and assume you’ve made it.

But inside? You feel like you’re white-knuckling your way through every day. Anxious. Restless. Tired in your bones. Angry at nothing and everything.

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Linkage

A Damn Fine Collection of Fascinating Photos – Ned Hardy

Chimney starters are absolutely worth it—especially if you use a charcoal grill and want a cleaner, faster, more reliable way to light your coals – Amazon

100 Best Movies of the 21st Century – NY Times

Diddy’s Defense Rests After Just 20 Minutes in Sex Trafficking Trial—He Declines to Testify – BBC

How an Artist Helped Millions of Drivers With a Counterfeit Highway Sign – The Drive

Steve Burns, Original ‘Blue’s Clues’ Host, Is Launching a Podcast for Grown-Ups That’s a ‘Continuation’ of the Beloved Kids’ Show – Variety

Source: Fan who taunted Ketel Marte banned from all ballparks – ESPN

Koenigsegg Sadair’s Spear Is the Brand’s Most Aggressive Hypercar Yet – Car and Driver

10 Albums, Infinite Replay: What Makes These Records So Legendary – Ned Hardy

A cordless stick vacuum is worth it because you can clean up messes anywhere in the house without dragging around a cord or heavy machine – Amazon

AI Agents Are Getting Better at Writing Code—and Hacking It as Well – Wired

Goodbye Fancy Bar, Hello At-Home Pizza Party: Young Americans Cut Back – WSJ

Why is everyone playing Star Wars Battlefront 2? – Polygon

20 Photos Teenagers Today Won’t Get At All – Linkiest

Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle – The Onion

“We make $30k/month but still live paycheck to paycheck”

It feels crazy to admit this, but we bring in $30,000 a month, and somehow we’re still living paycheck to paycheck.

We’re not living lavishly—we’ve got two kids in private school, two car payments totaling $3,000/month, and a mortgage just under $5,000. There’s $40K in credit card debt, and a bunch of “normal” expenses that add up fast.

We have a part-time nanny, yard and pool maintenance, occasional family trips, and more nights of takeout than we’d like to admit. We just paid off a new roof and some home upgrades. Our rental property breaks even, and we’re still helping out family when they need it. But really? It’s the constant little stuff—Amazon, apps, Target runs, subscriptions—that bleeds us dry.

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Poll of the Day

Which upgrade would you choose?
Results

“I suck at investing”

I’m not looking for judgment—I’ve already been incredibly hard on myself. I’ve made some poor decisions and followed advice that didn’t serve me well.

Although I did my research, I didn’t sell in time and now I’m feeling the weight of those choices. If anyone is willing to share any guidance or thoughts on what I can do moving forward, I’d truly appreciate it.

I know I made mistakes, but I’m hoping to learn and do better from here.

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How Do I Benefit From Staying Stuck?

We don’t like to think we’re holding ourselves back. Most of us assume that if we’re stuck in a job we hate, a relationship that drains us, or a cycle of habits we swore we’d break, it’s because of circumstances beyond our control.

But there’s a quieter, more unsettling truth that psychologists and behavioral researchers have studied for decades: Sometimes, we stay stuck because—on some level—it serves us.

[Read more…] about How Do I Benefit From Staying Stuck?

Linkage

8 Big Questions You’ve Always Wondered About, Answered – Ned Hardy

Buy this for all the women in your life and for yourself if you want to have some way of defending from attackers – Amazon

9 iPhone Privacy Settings You Should Turn On Right Now – Make Use Of

The Fantastic, Fading Retro Diners of Hong Kong – Atlas Obscura

Nearly Two Million Student-Loan Borrowers Are at Risk of Docked Pay This Summer – WSJ

Faces of Courage: Historical Photos of Women from All Walks of Life – Rare Historical Photos

“It’s Not Just Winning. It’s the Celebrity”: Inside the Los Angeles Lakers’ Record-Setting Sale – Vanity Fair

25 Memes That Say “Welcome to Parenthood” Louder Than Words – Ned Hardy

Probably the most effective brush out there and is a godsend for managing shedding on your dog or cat – Amazon

Is moderate drinking bad, actually? – VOX

China unveils mosquito-sized drone – The Telegraph

What to Talk About in Therapy – Psychology Today

The Best Solo Travel Destinations, From Copenhagen to the Galápagos – Traveler

The Rise and Fall of TV Sitcoms: A Statistical Analysis – Stat Significant

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