“My marriage is falling apart and I don’t know how to fix it”
I’m 41 and married to an incredible woman—an amazing parent, partner, and friend. We met in college. She fell in love with me first; it took me longer to realize I loved her too. Eventually I did, and I married her.
The truth is, I’ve made serious mistakes in our marriage—ones that probably should have ended it. I cheated early on. I wasn’t there for her during postpartum depression. I wasn’t there the way she needed after a miscarriage. And then there were all the smaller failures that add up. I said I loved her, but my actions didn’t back it up.
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“My daughter won’t support my wedding”
For context, I (44F) have two kids (20M and 18F) with my ex. About seven years ago we split, and when they were still teens, I decided to move abroad to start fresh and pursue my dating life. I sold my house quickly and left shared custody to my ex and a grandparent, then relocated to be near family. I’ve been with my fiancé (36M) for about a year and a half, we got engaged recently, and we’re getting married in June. I call my kids weekly, though usually just for a few minutes.
Over the holidays, my younger child and a grandparent visited me for the first time since I moved. They stayed with my fiancé’s parents because our place is small. While she was polite at times, she was mostly cold, rude to his family, dismissive toward him, complained constantly, and even made an inappropriate gesture in a family photo. I spoke to her about her behavior, but nothing really changed. After she went home, I told her on the phone I wouldn’t be getting her anything else for her birthday because of how she acted.
“Is it weird that he’s 40 and living with parents?”
I’m 28 and we’ve been dating about a year and a half. He lives at home with his parents and a few younger brothers, which already feels odd—especially since he’s not caring for them and has a stable job. What bothers me more is that he can’t cook or do laundry, and it seems like his mom handles everything for him. He’s also pretty stubborn and immature in arguments, and he often rushes home early for no real reason, like he’s worried about what his family will think.
He talks like he’s above needing goals or excitement, which comes off arrogant rather than confident. I can’t tell if I’m overthinking this, but his lack of independence and reluctance to grow up is starting to feel like a real turnoff. Is this as strange as it feels?
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Linkage
With Ring, American Consumers Built a Surveillance Dragnet – Archive.ph
A Damn Fine Collection of Fascinating Photos – Ned Hardy
If you grew up feeling unseen, dismissed, or like you had to be the “mature one” in your family, this is a clear, validating, and practical guide to understanding what happened—and finally learning how to heal from it. – Amazon
Britney Spears sells the rights to her music catalog – NBC News
Where Disney’s Josh D’Amaro Is Placing His Bets – Hollywood Reporter
What do personal finances look like for someone worth billions? The Epstein files provide a rare look – WSJ
24 Memes For All The Cat People Out There – Ned Hardy
If you want a video doorbell that doesnt sell out your privacy, here is my choice – Amazon
Chappell Roan Quits Wasserman After CEO Casey Wasserman Appears in Epstein Files – The Wrap
James Van Der Beek, Dawson’s Creek Star and Father of 6, Dies at 48 After Cancer Journey – People
FDA refuses Moderna’s application for new mRNA flu vaccine, company says – CBC
Trump hints at second carrier in Middle East as Iran and US near talks – Reuters
Millions of student loan borrowers aren’t repaying their loans — and defaults are up – NPR
The Summer of Love in 1967: Hippie Life as It Happened in Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco – Rare Historical Photos
The 7 Worst Mass Murderers Who Didn’t Use Guns – Linkiest
The Dumping Grounds
“Did I fail my girlfriend’s test?
We were together for about nine months, and up until a month ago, I genuinely thought things were going well. Then, out of nowhere, she told me we needed to break up. I was blindsided. When I asked why, she said I wasn’t attentive enough and that she deserved better.
I felt confused, angry, and hurt all at once. I thought I was giving her the right amount of attention. Clearly, she didn’t see it that way. I would have fought for the relationship. I would have tried harder. But when she said she could “do better,” something in me shut down.
“My wife and i tried an open relationship. Now she’s hurt and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Several months ago, my wife (35F) and I (30F) agreed to try opening our relationship. We had a few solo and shared experiences, and pretty quickly it became clear we weren’t on the same page. She didn’t like me forming connections with other people, but she didn’t want to “force” me to stop. I, on the other hand, enjoyed exploring other relationships and wanted to keep that door open.
Over time, I developed a separate relationship with one of our shared partners. My wife knew about it, though she was uneasy from the start. We struggled to figure out how much detail she wanted and what boundaries felt safe. This was all new territory, so I tried to tell her as much as she asked for while keeping things from feeling intrusive. At one point, she even reached out to my partner to smooth things over between us because she knew how happy that relationship made me.
“Is it unreasonable to pay my brother $10 a week on a $25k loan while we’re struggling?”
I’m 25, my fiancée is 29, and we have a one-year-old son. My brother is 30 and his husband is 31. I work on a farm and make $58,000 a year.
About 18 months ago, we renovated our house and I borrowed $25,000 from my brother. We agreed I’d pay him back with no set timeline. I even wrote a simple contract saying, “I will pay you back,” but it didn’t include dates or amounts.
Since then, we’ve had our son and have been living paycheck to paycheck. We haven’t been able to start paying him back yet, and he knew our situation and never pushed for money.
What’s It Like To Be Married To An Influencer
It’s like living inside a reality show no one agreed to audition for.
I used to wake up to an alarm clock. Now I wake up to a ring light.
My wife doesn’t say “good morning.” She says, “Don’t move. The lighting is actually kind of perfect right now.”
Our first fight about social media happened over eggs. I scrambled them. She said they looked “visually chaotic.” We had to re-plate. The yolk needed to “read aspirational.” I stood there, spatula in hand, wondering how I became a supporting character in a breakfast photoshoot.
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