Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

September 28, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

In study group at university

“I should go ask her about this thing so I talk to her..

Uhh.. nah that’d be kinda creepy. I should just ask the person sitting next to me. Also that guy sitting next to her and talking to her might be her boyfriend.”

In social dance group

“I’d love to ask her to dance.

Uhh.. but she’s dancing with someone else just know I wouldn’t wanna stand around her and make it look like I’m specifically waiting for her to finish. Ah just started her break and I wanna let her catch her breath.. also that guy she came with could be her boyfriend.”

In grocery store

“She seems to be alone her and confused, I should approach and offer help, maybe strike up a conversation

Uhh… you know maybe she just wants to do some shopping and to be left alone for now.. also that guy standing over here could be her boyfriend.”

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The Daily Man-Up: You Have To Take 100% Responsibility For Everything That You Experience In Your Life

September 26, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @paulgilmore_)

If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings—everything! This is not easy.

In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don’t like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our co-workers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, our lack of money—anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We never want to look at where the real problem is—ourselves.

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The Daily Man-Up: The 9 Principles That Retrained My Internet-Addicted Brain

September 25, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

smartphone addiciton retraining

(photo: @jens_johnsson)

Maybe you’ve had the experience recently of sitting down and trying to read a book, and finding your mind start to… wander. Maybe you’re having trouble focusing at work or school, sitting through movies, or even TV shows. There’s a little itch there. “This is cool, I guess… but what’s happening on the internet?”

Or maybe you’re just more anxious these days. Depressed. Cynical. In a “The World Is Shit” rut. You’re thinking about all those IDIOTS out there who are ruining the planet for the rest of us. The Nazi/Fascist/Islamist/Patriarchy/Feminist/WhitePrivilege complex.

Here’s what’s going on: years of heavy internet use have (literally) reprogrammed your brain.

Your smartphone, your laptop your social media accounts, your streaming sites, your inbox and your favorite blogs are all working together to hijack your brain’s natural reward system. On a daily basis, you hit the brain with a barrage of chronic overstimulation that it simply isn’t adapted for. This is why it’s harder than ever to focus, to chill out, to make it through a meeting or dinner or bathroom break without stealing a glance at your phone. Your brain craves moremoreMORE.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 24, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

10 years ago I was deeply depressed and afraid of life, today I’m halfway through a 2,189 mile hike through the Appalachian Mountains.

I’m hiking solo and started in Georgia a little over three months ago. I’ve been reflecting over the last decade and the unexpected changes which the time has brought forth.

Ten years ago I was 19 years old and in my second year of college. That year I’d transferred from Missouri State to Mizzou in Columbia, MO. I had joined the Navy ROTC with big dreams of becoming a Navy officer and envisioned a bright future at Mizzou.

Very quickly I was overwhelmed. The stress of waking up at 5am for PT combined with the stress of my computer science classes quickly brought on depression. Which I now realize I went through cyclically during my teenage years through my late twenties.

That year I dropped out of ROTC, dropped out of my computer science classes, and changed my major to accounting. I spent all of my time locked in my dorm room playing World of Warcraft(the first expansion, the burning crusade had just come out).

I made zero friends. Did nothing social. I was deeply depressed and had very little hope for the future. I’d just failed at basically everything I set out to do and I knew I was only digging a deeper hole by escaping into WoW.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 21, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

“Generally speaking, you’re free until you’re about 4 years old. Then you go to grammar school and then you start becoming…oriented and shoved into areas. You lose what individualism you have. If you have enough of course, you retain some of it… Then you work the 8 hour job with almost a feeling of goodness, like you’re doing something. Then you get married like marriage is a victory, and you have children like children is a victory… Marriage, birth, children. It’s something they have to do because there’s nothing else to do. There’s no glory in it, there’s no steam, there’s no fire. It’s very, very flat… You get caught into the structure of what you’re supposed to be and you have no other choice. You’re finally molded and melded into what you’re supposed to be. I didn’t like this.”

– Charles Bukowski.

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The Daily Man-Up: The Only Disability In Life Is A Bad Attitude

September 20, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

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The Daily Man-Up: How To Be A Good Friend

September 19, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

best friends

(photo: @matheusferrero)

Good friends are family.

They aren’t just buddies we have a fun time with but people we treat like our own blood. They can be profound connections that are forged for a lifetime.

I remember sitting in the car with my girlfriend and a close friend when he opened up to us. “Listen, you know how much I care about my mom and brother. They have the best intentions but sometimes they don’t truly understand me. But you both do. And I want you to know that you’re my family, too.”

It was one of the most honest and meaningful statements someone had ever said to me.

The other day I was excited to see a “How to Be a Good Friend” article appear in my feed. Reading through it was severely disappointing for a topic so important. When I searched for similar articles on Google, I was amazed to see how many contained idealistic advice that lacked any substance.

Here’s my list of ground rules that I follow to be a good friend.

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The Daily Man-Up: Responsibility: Not Apologizing When You Succeed Or Complaining When You Fail

September 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

“The greatest form of maturity is at harvest time. This is when we must learn how to reap without complaint if the amounts are small and how to reap without apology if the amounts are big.” — Jim Rohn

Don’t apologize when you succeed.

Don’t complain or blame when you fail.

Completely own and take responsibility for what you’ve attracted into your life. Said Dr. Stephen R. Covey, “We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.”

You cannot change your situation until you own that you’ve contributed to your situation.

When you take responsibility for what is happening in your life, you’re no longer the victim of circumstances. You no longer have to be a reactive object being acted upon by your environment. Instead, you can proactively act as an agent who impacts and changes your circumstances.

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The Daily Man-Up: How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime

September 17, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @jens_johnsson)

Do you want to know how to walk up to a perfect stranger– any perfect stranger– and start a conversation?

No, unfortunately, this isn’t an infomercial for an all-in-one charm-inducing drug which may or may not have been medically tested yet.

However, the good news is there are a few basic principles which most relationship experts have found work wonders in virtually any situation and with anyone.

So, whether you’re looking for that special someone and want to know how to most effectively start up a conversation in the most unlikely of places, like the supermarket, or you’re a business professional looking to improve your social skills so you can build your network, these strategies will help you start up any conversation easier.

Here’s what it comes down to:

1. Always start with a question

Always start with a question. Why? Because a question opens up the conversation for further dialogue and shows the person you’re interested in them.

The last thing you want to do is make a statement, which may or may not result in the kind of response from the other person that leads to a natural follow-up, immediately leading to an awkward silence and missed opportunity.

A question allows you to keep this from happening by controlling the conversation and sending it in a favorable direction.

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The Daily Man-Up: You Have To Learn To Love Rejection

September 14, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @huyphan2602)

If your ambition is to get good with girls, there’s one immutable law of game that you must recognize and accept right now – you will face rejection.

Unfortunately, even for the most experienced and best-looking players, rejection is simply an integral part of the process.

People have a natural tendency to avoid situations and feelings that are uncomfortable. If you put your hand in the fire, it’s going to hurt. Therefore our inclination is to protect ourselves as far as possible from adversity.

There’s no two ways about it – rejection is painful. When you walk up to a smoking hot girl, say hi and she ignores you, mumbles something and walks off, or worse insults you to your face, then you will feel terrible – at first. Why? Some game theorists link it back to our tribal requirement for acceptance. To get knocked back in prehistoric times meant excommunication from your social set, violence, or even death.

Of course, in the vast majority of normal interactions we face none of that today. But rejection remains a deep fear of many who are new to game, and even persists to some extent in those who’ve been macking chicks forever.

This is because when you approach a woman you are putting yourself on the line in a fundamental manner that is extremely unusual in any other area of life. Essentially, you are presenting yourself to another person and asking them to judge your fitness as a sexual prospect, even as a human being.

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