Caveman Circus

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Advice Column

“Am I wrong for refusing to buy my daughter expensive shampoo?”

My wife and I have three daughters. Our oldest is 16, our middle is 14, and our youngest is 10. Everyone on both sides of the family has brown hair, brown eyes, and straight hair. Our oldest and youngest daughters fit that pattern, but our middle daughter has curly blonde hair and green eyes.

I’ll be honest, I’ve struggled to bond with her because I had doubts about whether she was biologically mine. Those doubts made it hard for me to connect with her over the years.

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“Am I Wrong for Wanting to Write My Novel While My Girlfriend Works?”

A couple of months ago I lost my job. It wasn’t a surprise, and honestly I was relieved. The job had taken over my life, and for the first time in years I felt like I had room to breathe. My girlfriend earns enough that we’re financially comfortable, so I decided to spend the summer working on a novel I’ve dreamed about finishing for more than a decade.

The problem is that since June started, my girlfriend has been pushing me to find another job. We argue about it almost every day. She says we need to save for a house and a wedding. I tell her that spending a few months focused on my writing is a far better investment than taking a random job just to bring in a paycheck.

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“My husband has a porn addiction”

The backstory is that my husband struggled with a porn addiction before we got married and had stopped for a while. About three years into our relationship, he relapsed and I caught him. That was when I learned he had been hiding it from me for about a year. It completely broke my trust, and we’ve been trying to recover ever since.

We’ve been married for five years. One of the biggest issues is that his porn use seems to have affected our sex life. He struggles with ED, and from what we’ve learned, porn addiction can contribute to that. He rarely initiates sex unless I’ve repeatedly brought up the issue, and we usually have sex only once or twice a month.

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“42M still living at his parents”

I’m a 42 year old man who still lives with my parents. I work full time as a software tester, own my car, pay my way, and contribute heavily around the house. I handle chores, help with groceries, do my own laundry, cook, and take care of the responsibilities that come with adult life. I’m not dependent on my parents. I simply share a home with them.

I’ve lived on my own before. I moved away for a job and rented my own place, but when that job ended, I came back home. Since then, I’ve found a stable job that’s going well, and I’ve used the opportunity to save money and build financial security. Living at home allows me to save while still enjoying hobbies and interests like movies, salsa dancing, technology, and video games.

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“I think my married manager is in love with me”

I (27F) feel like I am losing my mind. My best friend just called me delusional and threatened to distance herself from me if I go through with this, so I need an outside perspective.

For the past year, I’ve worked closely with Ethan (38M). He is the shift manager at the coffee shop where I work as a barista. He is married and has two young children. His locker is covered in drawings from his kids, and he talks about his family constantly. On paper, he is the ultimate family man.

But over the last six months, I feel like our relationship has changed.

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“My son has no sense of urgency”

I’m completely lost. My youngest son is 15 and has absolutely no sense of urgency when it comes to school. He’s in a stubborn phase where he’s flat out refusing to go. At this point, he’s already accumulated multiple truancies and tardies.

The hardest part is that nothing seems to faze him. Consequences don’t appear to matter, and I feel like I’ve run out of options.

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“How do you stop feeling jealous of people that have easier lives than you?”

I am 35 years old. I have a steady job that pays the bills and lets me save a little each month, but not much more than that. There are no vacations, no splurges, and no big leaps forward. Just the same routine every month: work, bills, and a little left over.

I try to be grateful that I am not drowning in debt or struggling to make rent, but it is hard not to look around and feel envious. Friends are buying homes, taking trips, or getting help from their families to build the kind of life I can only imagine. I know everyone’s situation is different, but sometimes it feels like I am doing everything right and still falling behind.

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“How to accept the fact that I’ll never have a relationship?”

I’m in my 30s and still have no experience with women. I’ve never had a relationship, never had sex, and I’ve never been able to attract a woman.

A few years ago, this started causing a real crisis for me. I asked for help from anyone who would listen and tried hard to follow the advice I was given. I started going to the gym, taking walks, adopted a dog, worked on my career, improved my grooming and style, and even talked to psychiatrists and psychologists.

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