Caveman Circus

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Advice Column

“Got into my first relationship. Are they ALL going to be this draining?”

I’m a 28 year old guy and this is my first real relationship. My girlfriend is 27, and honestly, I’m starting to worry that I was not ready for this.

She has a lot of mood swings, and I constantly feel like I have to manage her emotions and keep her happy. On some of my days off, we spend over 10 hours on the phone together one on one, then we jump into voice chat with friends until late at night. Even after all that, she still gets upset if I do not call her before bed, even when I’m exhausted or just need time alone. I’m not a very social person, and it feels overwhelming, especially on work nights when I have to wake up early.

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“Im in love with my best friend but she doesn’t feel the same way”

For seven years, I’ve been living with my best friend, a woman who has been my rock through unimaginable loss. We met during a dark time in my life—after losing my mom and grandmother in quick succession—and quickly became inseparable. We’ve traveled, lived together (in separate rooms), gone to church, and done almost everything as a pair.

The problem? I’m deeply in love with her, but she doesn’t feel the same. Early on, she told me she wasn’t interested in dating until she was 40, and despite my hope that her feelings would change, they haven’t. She values our friendship but says she doesn’t feel the romantic “spark.”

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“Do I tell the neighbor that their teenage daughter sneaks out every night?”

Their daughter leaves from their backyard after 11pm and cuts thru our yard and driveway almost every night (to avoid their camera). She walks to the corner and gets picked up by the same car and gets dropped off after sunrise and sneaks back thru the gate. Our cameras going off wake us at night as we would like to know if someone is outside our house with bad intentions. It used to happen every once in a while but it’s been every night recently.

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“I thought I gave a meaningful speech at my sister’s wedding but people are mad”

I’m 32 and single. This past weekend was my sister’s wedding, and things have gotten tense since.

For context, my sister was previously married at 24, and that marriage only lasted about a year. It ended badly with a lot of arguing. From my perspective, she rushed into it and ignored advice from family. We’ve never really talked about it as a family, which I’ve always found strange because it clearly says something about decision making.

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“My girlfriend’s emotions turn into hours of crying and I don’t know how to handle it”

My girlfriend is a very caring person. She pampers me, thinks about us, and I do love her. But emotionally, the relationship is becoming really hard for me to handle.

To be fair, I know I’m not perfect. Sometimes I can come across as dismissive when she tells me she’s upset. But most of the time, I genuinely try to show up for her.

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“My wife keeps cheating on me and doesnt plan to stop”

I’ve been with my wife since we were 16. She was my high school sweetheart and the only person I’ve ever been with. We got married shortly after college. I always believed she was my one true love.

The first time she cheated was before we got married. She went to Cancun for her bachelorette party and told me afterward that she wanted to experience someone else before settling down. I forgave her.

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“My girlfriend no longer wants to work”

I love my girlfriend, and I want to be clear that what I’m feeling now is because of a real change in her behavior, not some hidden feelings I’ve been ignoring.

We’ve been together for 4 years. She had a rough start to her career because she graduated around COVID, but so did I and a lot of other people. I supported her through that, even when I was struggling too.

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“Turned 40, no retirement, low income, husband recently laid off, & don’t know where to start”

I don’t need to be told everything I’ve done wrong. I already know. Seeing advice online about being in my “prime earning years” just makes me want to give up.

I used to have solid jobs in my late 20s making $60–70k, but I was fired for being pregnant. I sued and won, but the payout wasn’t invested—it was used just to survive. Since then, things haven’t stabilized. I’m now making $15 an hour managing a store.

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“My in-laws are overstepping my boundaries”

Is a visit from the in-laws every 1.5 months for 2 weeks too much?

I NEVER agreed to it. I said one week max. But once they’re here they would ask to stay. Now suddenly 2 weeks in the normal. I said if it’s two weeks it has to be two months in between. Then it inches closer together. Now the norm has become 2 weeks every 1.5 months…and shaving off days of the in between.

They’re overbearing, take over the house, criticize and comment on how to raise our child.

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“Long time partner and baby daddy won’t marry me”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over five years. We have a two year old together and have lived together the entire time. On the surface, everything is stable. We share a car, rent a house, and split utilities. Our life works.

The problem is that he won’t marry me.

We talk about the future a lot, and it’s clear he plans to stay with me, but marriage never seems to be part of that plan. Whenever I bring it up, he gets defensive or brushes it off. Sometimes he says things like “why don’t you just ask me” or that marriage is just a piece of paper. But to me, it means a lot more than that.

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