Life Advice

The Daily Man-Up

October 28, 2020 Leave a Comment

camera shy

You’re not ugly. You just look like you.

I photograph a lot of people. Almost everyone believes they are ugly. Your grandmother. Your child. Your best friend. Most models. Most actors. Maybe even you.

“Oh, don’t take my photo, I’ll break your camera!” laughs the 80-year-old grandfather. When he dies a few months later, his grandkids will treasure this reminder of his “ugly mug.”

“Please delete this,” says a dear old friend. She looks beautiful. She looks like herself. She’s been captured in a moment in which she is utterly comfortable in her skin. And she hates it.

“Oh God,” I said, because I had to get a professional headshot for work. “I have a face like a slapped ham,” I told the makeup artist I hired because I’m so hideous that I can’t bear to have photos of me around.

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The Daily Man-Up: 5 Lessons Learned In Prison

October 27, 2020 Leave a Comment

lessons learned in prison

Everything is Temporary

When I was in prison, it felt like I would be there forever. That my permanent state of being was uncertainty and pain. I felt as though I would be worthless for the remainder of my life. Once I looked beyond the fear and anxiety, I understood there was an expiration date. I didn’t know when, but I knew there was one. That alone gave me the strength to endure. This is the power of impermanence.

The Daily Man-Up

October 20, 2020 Leave a Comment

(Photo: Modern Affliction)

Over 40 years ago I was a young boy, the future still a thing of excitement and mystery. Who would I be? What would I do? Where would I go? Everything was still possible. But I squandered my potential and wasted my life.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the way my parents treated me scarred me deeply. They gave me all the toys a boy could want. But I have no memory of being hugged. I have no memory of them ever telling me something I did was good. I would show them a picture I drew and they would say “Not now.” They made me feel worthless, useless, unwanted. My mother would play sadistic games where she’d frighten me and then laugh when I cried out of fear. My father was brooding and unapproachable, quick to temper and irritated by my presence.

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The Daily Man-Up

October 15, 2020 Leave a Comment

Galvanize yourself into taking positive action.

Your conscious/intuition/better judgement, whatever you want to call it, generally knows what’s best for you and what it takes to get there, but is often overpowered by the pessimist in us. Here are two techniques you can use to confront that pessimistic voice;

1. Retroactive self-reflection. Here’s a confronting visualisation activity to motivate you into taking action; When faced with a daunting decision or challenge (one that you want to take but are hampered by your negative thoughts or anxiety), quickly visualize yourself as an old man or woman – Zimmer frame, toothless, baby food, incontinent, lonely, family only drop in once a month if you’re lucky – and you’re propped in front of the TV…but you’re not watching daytime talk shows or lawn bowl championships, rather you’re viewing a montage of all the opportunities you’ve passed up in your younger life, and you’re writhing with regret because you’ll never know what could have been.

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The Daily Man-Up

October 14, 2020 Leave a Comment

(photo: @kfred)

What Other Choice Do You Have?

Think of an important goal you wish you could achieve.

Something that really intimidates you. Something that you haven’t begun working towards because it challenges your comfort zone.

That could be…

Getting a job (or a better job). Making more friends. Getting in shape. Writing a book. Or meeting more women – both in-person and online.

So why haven’t you taken any steps to reach that goal?

Whenever you undertake a new endeavor that makes you feel vulnerable, your mind runs wild trying to talk you out of it. Your self-doubt becomes deafening and all you can think about are the worst possible scenarios.

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The Daily Man-Up: I Hate My Life

October 9, 2020 Leave a Comment

(photo: @andriklangfield)

Your alarm goes off at 6:30 am.

Stumbling out of bed, you brew a strong cup of coffee to get through the day. Sitting in your car, you pause before starting the engine. “I can’t keep doing this”, you think to yourself.

Driving to work, you arrive at your soul-sucking job with only minutes to spare. As you walk through the office doors an all too familiar feeling creeps in.

You hate it here. You hate the menial tasks that fill your waking hours. You hate the manager who seems to revel in breathing down your neck.

Sinking into your chair, you stare numbly at your computer, a single thought commandeering your conscious mind.

“I hate myself and I hate my life”

The Daily Man-Up

October 1, 2020 Leave a Comment

Self-doubt is normal. Everyone who has ever done anything outside of their comfort zone doubted themselves at some point.

Here’s the thing though: you are tough. You are still here; you are reading this post and surviving in the world and that makes you tough, because this is a tough world to survive in. Think of all the things that life has thrown at you in your 20, 30, 50 years on this planet. And you made it through all of that.

And sure, I know that getting through some of that absolutely sucked, but you did it and you are a more complex, capable and wise person because of it. Whether you realize it or not, you learned from all of those crappy experiences.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 28, 2020 Leave a Comment

Do Something You Hate EVERYDAY! This phrase is more of a lifestyle than a simple saying. Even though people don’t believe me, I have always said I hate all physical activity other than weightlifting. I believe there is no better way to grow as a person than to do something you hate everyday. For me, the worst feeling in the world is waking up knowing that I have to push myself. I know every morning when I wake up that I am going to be pushing myself through worse pain than I did the day before. That is not a very comfortable feeling.

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The Daily Man-Up

September 21, 2020 Leave a Comment

Every single thing you do, all the hard work, the sweat, the blood, the tears, all of the energy and effort you put into your craft and your goals behind closed doors, matter.

Every single second matters.

Every single decision matters.

Everything matters.

One day, the sum of all your decisions in life will determine why you stand where you stand, how you got to where you are.

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