Caveman Circus
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There’s a phrase that gets passed around in self-help circles like a mantra: “The way people treat you is a reflection of them, not you.” At first glance, it can sound like a neat little fortune cookie of empowerment—something to toss at yourself when you’re reeling from someone else’s unkindness.
[Read more…] about When People Mistreat You, It’s About Them—Not You
There’s a particular kind of silence that comes after you do something mortifying in public. It’s not actual silence—cars still pass, people still chatter—but internally, everything goes mute. Your brain pulses with heat. You can feel your own heartbeat in your ears. You stare at the ground, retreat inward, hope invisibility might somehow be an option.
There’s a quiet kind of heartbreak that doesn’t get talked about enough.
It’s when you meet someone, feel a spark, and start imagining a version of your life with them in it. You analyze every text, every glance, every pause in conversation, hoping it means something more. You try a little harder, smile a little bigger, shape-shift just a little bit to match what you think they might want. Maybe if you say the right thing. Maybe if you dress a little differently. Maybe if they could just see you the way you see them.
[Read more…] about You Can’t Convince Someone to Be Attracted to You (And That’s a Good Thing)
I need to talk to you about porn. We’ve been through this before, but right now, I don’t want an argument, I just need you to listen and to really hear me.
Porn for me is not just videos, or websites. If you are using photos, images or short form videos of random girls, celebrities or chat apps (or anyone or anything) to get off to, or look at to enable you to have sex with me, or even if you are just scrolling or browsing, it’s all porn to me, because your intentions are the same and the outcome is the same.
This isn’t casual chat, and it’s not up for debate. For me, a healthy relationship—my version of healthy—does not include my p [Read more…] about “Porn Isn’t Just a Harmless Habit—It’s a Betrayal”
It sounds harmless enough.
I just wish she would clean up after herself.
I just wish he’d listen better.
I just wish they’d care as much as I do.
These thoughts show up quietly. They don’t come with flashing lights or angry outbursts. They feel reasonable. Fair, even. After all, you’re not yelling. You’re not demanding anything out loud. You’re just… wishing.
[Read more…] about The Thought That Silently Destroys Relationships
You’re standing in the kitchen, arguing about how long it took to get out the door.
Or how your partner said they’d do the dishes and didn’t.
Or the way they looked at their phone when you were talking.
And suddenly, you’re both upset. Tense. Maybe one of you is shutting down and walking away. Maybe the other is still talking, louder now. Maybe you’re both wondering, Why are we even fighting about this?
I want to talk about a phrase that gets thrown around a lot – “putting yourself out there.” It’s something we often hear when it comes to dating, socializing, or pursuing our goals. But what does it really mean?
Putting yourself out there means being vulnerable. It’s about exposing yourself to the possibility of rejection, failure, or disappointment. When you put yourself out there, you’re taking a risk. You’re saying, “Here I am, flaws and all. Take it or leave it.”
[Read more…] about What Does It Mean To Put Yourself Out There?
I’m 53 and just had my financial wake-up call. Despite making six figures for the last decade, I have less than $200k saved for retirement. Why? Because I spent my 30s and 40s convinced I had “more important things” to do with my money.
I maxed out my house budget because “real estate is the best investment.” I leased new cars every 3 years because “I work hard and deserve nice things.” I took lavish vacations because “you only live once.” Meanwhile, I contributed just enough to my 401k to get the employer match (3%) and thought I was being responsible.
There’s a line a lot of people like to quote from religious texts and cultural traditions: “Honor your father and mother.” And that’s good advice. Really. They raised you, fed you, taught you (hopefully), and shaped parts of who you are.
But here’s the part no one says out loud: you honor your parents by growing up—not by staying under their thumb.
[Read more…] about Honor Your Parents—But Build With Your Wife
My girlfriend (30F) keeps giving me (38M) “boyfriend” tests. We’ve been together almost 4 months (not long I know).
About a month ago my gf started doing boyfriend tests on me. It started with her telling me she wanted a weekend alone. So I gave her space, while making myself available if she wanted company. I failed that test because I didn’t surprise visit her.
[Read more…] about “My girlfriend keeps giving me “boyfriend” tests”