Caveman Circus

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have known each other for 10 years and been together for 8. We grew up together—first love, university, life milestones, everything. We moved in together after graduating and have built a stable life with similar careers and income.

Early on, we talked about marriage and agreed we’d wait until we were financially stable. After we both got good jobs, I felt ready—and our families started asking about it too. I held off bringing it up because his job was stressful.

Last year, an opportunity came up where being married could give us certain benefits. We talked seriously about a quick civil wedding and even discussed it with our families. It made me feel like he was ready.

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My husband and I met when I was pregnant with my first son. His biological father had just walked out on me after finding out about the pregnancy. He said he wanted nothing to do with it, moved away, changed his number, and disappeared completely. I didn’t hear from him again until now, six years later.

My husband has been there from day one. He stepped in without hesitation and has raised my son as his own. He even signed the birth certificate. Since then, we’ve grown our family and now have two kids together.

Everything has been going so well. He treats both children equally, and he’s an incredible father and husband.

Then, out of nowhere, my ex reached out. He says he’s ready to be part of his son’s life now.

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Several months ago, one of my husband’s closest friends got engaged. A few months later, my husband was asked to be a groomsman and he said yes. We recently received the wedding invitation, and I am not invited.

For context, my husband and I have been married for over 15 years. We used to live across the country, and because of COVID, we didn’t meet the couple during the first couple of years they were together. After moving back to our hometown, I spent some time with them. I always got along well with the groom and liked his fiancée.

I’m pretty introverted and tend to be quiet in group settings, but I’m kind and respectful. For some reason, the fiancée developed a strong dislike for me early on. I don’t know why. When I found out, I tried talking to her about it, but I didn’t get any clear answers. She eventually blocked and removed me on social media.

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About a year ago, a woman in my friend group told me she had feelings for me. I liked her too, but I hesitated—mainly out of fear. I didn’t think I was ready, and I kept overthinking everything. I never made a move.

Fast forward to now: she’s started dating another guy in our circle. To make things even more complicated, it’s actually one of my close friends. When he told me they’d been seeing each other, I felt gutted. I can’t shake this nagging feeling that I let something really good slip away, and I’m struggling to be around them without feeling awkward or jealous.

[Read more…] about “I blew the chance with a girl who was into me”

I have much lower calorie needs than my partner. I’m thin, have IBS, and can’t handle a lot of food. He’s more active, slightly overweight, and eats about double what I do. I’m fine with him eating more, and I try to keep our meals healthy.

The problem is I feel like I’m paying for it, either financially or with my time. We split groceries and eating out evenly, and we split kitchen duties, though I cook more because his meals don’t sit well with my stomach. When I cook, like making tortillas, I might make 10 thinking they’ll last me several meals, but if he’s over, he’ll eat most of them right away or the next morning, leaving me with almost nothing.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. When we started, we both wanted the same things: marriage, a house, kids, and strong careers. We’ve achieved the career part, but the house has never happened. Every time we save, something comes up, and now with how expensive everything is, buying a home feels almost impossible.

From the beginning, he has been clear that he wants to own a home before having kids. I understand why. He grew up in an unstable household, and owning a home represents safety to him. I respect that. But I’m 35 now, and the risks of waiting to have children are weighing on me more and more.

[Read more…] about “10 Years, No house, No Kids. I’m quietly falling apart”