Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

December 18, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Dating, Man-Up |

(photo: @gregoryallen)

I know the other reason you avoid meeting women is because you’re scared of bothering them. You’re ashamed that you’re going to upset them or creep them out by saying hello.

This makes you feel like approaching women is somehow fundamentally “wrong”.

That’s bullshit, though. That assumes all women are going to have a miserable time talking to you.

We’re all searching for meaningful human connections — women included. It’s at the top of our list for living a happy life. Most people will entertain 30 seconds of conversation to meet someone that could change their entire world.

Many women will be so excited to connect with you, even if you’re inexperienced. You don’t need to be perfect to make good impressions. And with time, you’re only going to get better at engaging people and making connections.

For women who aren’t interested, that doesn’t automatically mean they hated the experience. They’re often flattered someone found them interesting or attractive. I see women all the time who are blushing or smiling even after they’ve turned down a guy.

But unavoidably, some women will see you talking to them as a “negative experience”.

Why is that such a big deal?

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The Daily Man-Up

December 17, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @jeztimms)

“I always resented all the years, the hours, the minutes I gave them as a working stiff, it actually hurt my head, my insides, it made me dizzy and a bit crazy… I couldn’t understand the murdering of my years yet my fellow workers gave no signs of agony, many of them even seemed satisfied, and seeing them that way drove me almost as crazy as the dull and senseless work. The workers submitted. The work pounded them to nothingness, they were scooped-out and thrown away. I resented each minute, every minute as it was mutilated and nothing relieved the monotonous ever-structure. I considered suicide. I drank away my few leisure hours. I worked for decades… I knew that I was dying. Something in me said, go ahead, die, sleep, become them, accept. Then something else in me said, no, save the tiniest bit. It needn’t be much, just a spark. A spark can set a whole forest on fire. Just a spark. Save it. I think I did. I’m glad I did. What a lucky god damned thing.”

– Charles Bukowski

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The Daily Man-Up

December 14, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @alexisrbrown)

Most guys make the mistake of making friends with a girl first in the hopes of working it into a meaningful relationship later.

This couldn’t be more wrong. Not only are they wasting their time and money on the girl, but they are also digging their own graves.

These men wait around with their heads down in the hopes that she will change her mind and become romantically interested in them. However, these men fail to recognize the most basic facts: If she wasn’t interested in you romantically in the beginning, what makes you think she will change her mind later?

What makes you think she’s not using you as a surrogate boyfriend until she finds somebody she really wants?

What makes you think that she isn’t just around for the ride while you spend your money and time on her?

The “Friendship Zone” is a trap… a trap so elaborate and strong that freeing yourself out of it is about as easy as climbing Mount Everest.

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The Daily Man-Up: You Need to Get Punched In the Face More

December 13, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @jjvisions86)

Pain and discomfort are the gatekeepers of success.

They are the guardians of becoming extraordinary. No one enters without meeting — and trading punches — with them first.

Most people see these burly warriors and promptly turn the other way, hoping they were unseen. Most people avoid pain, and try to get through life without ever being unfortunate enough to meet it.

Sadly, this lifestyle actually costs far more energy, time, and effort than just getting on with it. Like avoiding the needle at the doctor, we get sicker and sicker as we avoid the very thing we most need.

“When uncomfortable, my instinct is not to avoid the discomfort but to become at peace with it. My instinct is always to seek out challenges and opposed to avoiding them.” -Josh Waitzkin, world champion chess player

No one becomes extraordinary or achieves true success without overcoming some serious pain.

Pain creates us. It reveals us. It is the fire that hardens us, the crushing pressure that chews up us lumpy pieces of coal and spits out brilliant diamonds.

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The Daily Man-Up: How Much Can You Know About Yourself If You Never Been In A Fight

December 12, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @hermez777)

Fighting isn’t macho. It’s not how a man proves himself to another man or how he proves himself to a lady. Fighting has nothing to do with anything but the individual and his desire to prove to himself that he can face his fears, that he can take the pain of getting hit and hit back.

Fighting, just as it is in the metaphorical sense as we fight and claw our way to a better position in life, is completely internal. Every guy wants to know how he’d fair in a fight, and I feel bad for those who don’t know; not because they’re better men if they’re fighters, fighting, after-all, is merely a skill like skating or shooting, actually it’s more than that. Fighting is how we prove to ourselves that we’re men. It’s how we prove to ourselves that we’re not pussies, that even though we’re afraid we’ll stand and fight.

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The Daily Man-Up: How To Fight Your Desires To Find True Freedom

December 11, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @jamie_fenn)

Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. ~ Frank Herbert

Freedom to many is the right to do whatever you want. It’s the right and the ability to follow your latest whim, wish, and your present desire. When you seek this kind of freedom you’re ruled by the wish, whim, and desire. Your urges own you, you don’t own them.

Our desires change. They’re frivolous. They seem to have a mind of their own and often come from a weaker part of us that doesn’t take our greater goals and dreams into account.

Our desires pull us away from our potential, when it’s discipline that brings us nearer to it.

It’s popular in our society to seek a kind of freedom that brings us further away from discipline. It’s a freedom from responsibility and work and a freedom to live a life that serves no one but ourselves.

We see this kind of freedom applauded by social groups, self-help authors, and ideologies that see happiness not as something we work to create, but something we gain only apart from the society that we reside within. It’s a freedom filled with sandy beaches and weed, hippie headdresses and odd hours.

The freedom from discipline ends up bringing you a freedom from accomplishment. It brings you to a point of dependence of some kind, which cannot be true freedom. It’s a kind of freedom that ignores the sacrifices of men and women before you that have fought for your right to be an irresponsible dependent.

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The Daily Man-Up: There Are No More Zero Days

December 10, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @xangriffin)

Rule #1 – THERE ARE NO MORE ZERO DAYS

What’s a zero day? A zero day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt’ do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you’re in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that’s what you’re used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn’t happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That’s rule number one. Do not forget.

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The Daily Man-Up: Small, Daily Habits Are More Important Than Big, Infrequent Home Runs

December 7, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Anyone can talk the talk.

Not many people can walk the walk.

A terrible habit quite a few people fall into is believing that “one day” it’ll all come together. What does that even mean, “one day”? What are you going to do, wake up and find yourself in a $5-million mansion with two Ferraris parked outside? What, is it just going to “appear” out of nowhere?

“One day” is today. “One day” is right now.

You’re not going to “be patient one day.” You’re going to be patient NOW. You’re not going to “start doing things differently one day.” You’re going to start doing things differently NOW. You’re not going to “finally make it work one day.” You’re going to make it work right NOW.

Big leaps happen by adding lots of tiny steps up over a long period of time.

If you think you can skip that process, you’re wrong.

Whatever it is you want to become, become that to the best of your ability right now. Whatever it is you want to do, do that to the best of your ability right now. In weightlifting we would call this “training until failure.”

Every day, everything you do, train until failure.

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The Daily Man-Up: As Long As You Approach Her, It’s A Success

December 6, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @brookecagle)

So many guys judge success as “did I have sex with her” or “did I get her phone number” or “did I get her laughing”, etc. However, I judge success differently. It is a very binary way of measuring success, and it is also incredibly powerful. I judge success like this: “Did I approach her or not?”

And really, that’s the only measure of success you should have when it comes to women. When you see an attractive woman that you want to meet, did you or did you not approach her?

Because as soon as you approach her, your chances of getting her name, getting her phone #, getting a date with her, and getting sex with her essentially went from zero to non-zero. It might be a 5% chance of getting her phone #, but that’s better than nothing.

As soon as you view success this way, you start to easily gain momentum when approaching women. Let’s say you see an incredibly attractive girl sitting down. She’s a literal 10/10, with a pretty face, an incredibly fit body, and legs for days. Do you go up and approach her? If you do, it’s a success. Everything else doesn’t matter.

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The Daily Man-Up: Success Isn’t A Mountain. It’s An Eternal Struggle

December 5, 2018 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

(photo: @pitoutch)

The struggle, the pain, the excruciating process has to be your goal because the goal doesn’t sharpen you, it finishes you.

The metaphor of  the road to success being a mountain isn’t right.

There is no end. Thinking that there is takes you away from that thing that’s sharpening you, strengthening you, making you tougher, and that thing is the grind, it’s the process, it’s the minutia and the struggle of a life that’s ambitious.

To expect the grind to dissipate is to desire and end to that thing that makes you better. To rest on top of a mountain and to think you’re done is to finish life, it’s to give up or give in.

You’re not working to some end. You’re not hustling trying to find a place in the sun, a place of silence and peace. No, you’re hustling because you love the hustle, you see the good in it, the necessity of it.

To be great is to forego the mindset of the many and acquire the hard view, the torturous view that every damn day you’re going to wake up and thrive at what others run from; the struggle, the hustle, the pain that makes weak men strong and strong men great.

YOU’RE GOING TO GET MORE FROM THE STRUGGLE THAN YOU GIVE TO IT.

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