By Stephen Passman
1. They’re Manipulative
This is the biggest one. Both women and men do it. I see it all the time — someone getting a man to buy dinner or drinks with no interest of getting to know the person, or a man expecting sex for doing so. Manipulative behavior is often not seen at first because of the initial superficial interactions and the “puppy love” effect. Manipulation is when someone acts or uses something or someone with a maleficent or aggressive intention in order to induce a desired action. Manipulation is emotional abuse (Fjeltstad, 2014).
Other big ones to watch out for:
a) Guilt tripping someone into doing something they don’t want to do.
b) Intimidation, using fear, or verbal abuse for creating submission for some action.
c) Positive/ Negative Reinforcement (E.g. Only saying I love you only after someone does something “good” or pleasing to the partner).
d) Anyone who “presses your buttons” or uses your insecurities to get you to do what they want you to do.
e) Giving gifts with strings attached or crossing your boundaries often.
Someone who is manipulative must be in control. So If you find these circumstances to be the case, realize that no one deserves to be subjected to this kind of behavior.
What’s It Like To Try Ecstasy?
I am a forty-something professional man, happily married. My wife and I arranged to take e one Monday evening during the Christmas / New Year break with some close friends of ours, an older couple whom we have known, loved and respected for about fifteen years. They were “old hands” and my wife had done it once before. We had agreed that this would be the night I tried e for the first time. While I had some slight trepidation, I knew I would be OK as I trusted them all completely.
Sitting comfortably in our cosy living room, Café del Mar and similar CDs playing in the background, we began at 8 pm. I swallowed one white tablet with water. My male friend then asked us what intentions, if any, we each had for the session. Mine, I decided, was “to lighten up a bit,” as for the last few years I had been having an incredibly heavy time with multiple illnesses and levels of stress that had left me feeling completely beaten up by life. I had become tense, withdrawn and sullen — still able to function and superficially OK, but hardly my old self.
Over the next hour nothing much happened except that I found myself talking quite openly and confidently with the others, moving very easily into interesting conversations. This was a little unusual for me as I am normally quite shy and overly self-conscious in social situations and it takes me a while to loosen up. In fact, it unnerved me for a moment when I first noticed it — Is this really me talking? — but I soon realised that nothing was coming out of my mouth that was in any way inconsistent with my intelligence or my best intentions, and that I was still very much in charge of myself. What had happened, I realised, was that my neurotic self-checking filters, the ones that have to inspect and approve everything I say before I say it, several times over, had dropped away, creating a clear passage for my natural self-expression. I began to trust the e.
My friend's band recorded in the same studio Radiohead used for some of the In Rainbows sessions. A whole bunch of their equipment was still laying around in the live room. Most of it was vintage '70s gear. They had a Mellotron and a Memory Moog. All the reverbs are actual rooms in the basement. They hardly used any digital technology. They even tracked to 2 inch tape and only transferred to ProTools for minor editing. SSL SL9080K analogue console. Twenty year old ribbon mics. Valve preamps. No expense spared, and it drips out of every track on the album. From a technical point of view it's up there with the best Steely Dan and Frank Zappa. Radiohead not only write really great music, they're one of the few internationally recognised bands who fly the flag for the craft of music production engineering. 99% of their fans never need to know anything of what goes on behind the scenes, but their respect for doing things properly is the reason their music always sounds beautiful. While everyone else is churning out pop from a preprogrammed template; chasing down the cheapest plugins to perform the quickest fixes, Radiohead are creating art. Their music will outlast us all.
Check out this new video from atmospheric folk musical collective Gabriel Wolfchild and the Northern Light. It’s pretty chill and getting a lot of buzz from pretentious hipster music blogs.
Dude gets handled after starting shit on the train
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