Advice Column

I’m a 37 year old man and my wife is 33. We just had our youngest son about 4 months ago, and things have been overwhelming with four kids.

My wife asked if she could go out with her friends to get a break from the responsibility, and I said yes. I think it’s important for both of us to have a life outside of parenting. I’ve gone out with friends too.

She’s gone out about four times since then, and I didn’t think anything of it until recently. After her last night out, a friend told me he’s seen her out the past two weekends grinding and dancing on other men.

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My husband and I (40f) have been together since high school. Everything was great, but around year 8 I cheated. I got really drunk one night with coworkers and cheated. I felt horrible about it and lost a lot of weight from the guilt while hiding it. A couple months later he found out. He chose to forgive me and we worked through it.

We got married and I truly believed I would never put myself in that position again. But this year he found out I was having an affair. There was a lot going on in my personal family life, and instead of coping properly I looked for validation outside my marriage. I regret it deeply.

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My mom is accomplished and has done really well in life, but she’s never been very logical and has always micromanaged me. That made sense when I was a kid, but it became overbearing in college, and now she’s trying to control my dating life.

I’m 24 and I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two years. My mom keeps telling me I shouldn’t marry her and that I’m too young and rushing things.

My girlfriend and I share the same values, religion, and ethnic background. She’s kind, loving, and we get along well, but she has had issues with lying in the past.

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Man, I’m in a weird spot right now. A couple of months ago, I went to a club with my best friend, and we both got some dances. There was one dancer in particular I really liked. I know the deal—these women are there to make money, and they’ll say whatever it takes to make you feel special. But after my dance with her, she actually gave me her number, and we started texting.

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I am 26 and have been dating a 28 year old guy for just over a month. We have gone out every weekend, five dates so far, all planned by him. He is consistently kind, thoughtful, and communicative. He is athletic, successful, and genuinely nice, but he is also extremely cautious and almost formal in how he acts.

The issue is that he does not flirt or initiate any physical touch beyond polite gestures like opening doors. Even at the gym, when he corrected my form, he apologized for touching me. I am naturally flirty and have made it clear that I like physical touch, but he does not pick up on my cues or initiate anything romantic. I even stopped initiating hugs to see if he would, and he did not.

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I’ve been happily married to my wife for almost ten years. We have two kids and a really good life together. I love her deeply. She feels perfect for me, and I would never want to do anything to hurt her.

A few years ago, we moved into a new neighborhood and she became close friends with one of our neighbors. They clicked right away and have gotten really close. I get along with her husband and like him, but we’re not nearly as close.

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I am a 41 year old man and my wife is 32. We have been married for three years. Before we got married, I was clear that I did not want children. She knew that.

Recently, after losing an accidental pregnancy, she has developed a deep desire to have a child. We have a stable life, good jobs, and a home, so there are no practical barriers.

But I have never really wanted to be a father. The idea has never strongly appealed to me beyond occasional thoughts like imagining names or brief moments of curiosity.

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My baby is about 11 months old and exclusively breastfed. It’s just the two of us, with no family support nearby. Our baby still wakes frequently at night. It used to be every two to three hours and now is still unsettled at times.

We used to sleep in the same room, but now we are in separate rooms.

The issue is I do not know what my role is at night as the dad. When the baby cries, I feel like whatever I do is wrong.

If I go into the room and stay nearby while my partner breastfeeds or soothes, she gets frustrated and asks why I am just sitting there.

If I try to actively help by holding or patting the baby, she gets angry because she is already trying to settle the baby.

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My husband has a female friend he texts every day, and no matter how uncomfortable I’ve been, he hasn’t changed anything. I’ve tried to convince myself it’s just a normal friendship and that nothing inappropriate is happening, but deep down it doesn’t feel right.

They still talk daily. They share a lot of personal and even intimate things with each other. She is clearly a huge priority in his life.

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I have a friend I’ll call Ethan. Back in 2017, he developed feelings for a coworker at a diner where they both worked. It seemed obvious she liked him too, and she even kissed him at a party. She waited about a year for him to make a move, but he never did, and eventually she met someone else and moved on.

Ever since then, Ethan has been full of regret. He went from being outgoing and social to withdrawn and down most of the time.

Now it’s been nine years, and he’s still stuck on her. He hasn’t tried to meet anyone new. When we go out, he talks about how much he regrets missing his chance. Around couples, he gets moody and makes comments about how happy everyone else looks.

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