Advice Column

My husband and I are expecting our first baby later this year after trying for a long time. He’s finishing a career training program and was offered a rare instructor course that could seriously help his future career. It’s considered the best and fastest path, but the training happens during the exact week our baby is due and would require him to travel out of state for a full week.

He told me he’d let me decide, but also admitted he’d probably feel resentment if he missed the opportunity.

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I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and we really hit it off. She’s charismatic, smart, pretty, and has a great career. After a couple of dates she told me she has bipolar disorder and asked if I wanted to cancel the next date. I said no, but now I keep hearing horror stories about relationships with people who have bipolar disorder, and honestly I’m scared to move forward.

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I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 23. She has a noticeable facial scar, and my family has always made jokes about it because they have a dark sense of humor. I kept telling her that’s just how they are and that they didn’t actually mean anything by it, but she’s never liked being around them because of it.

A few months ago, my parents hosted a big birthday dinner for my dad and I really wanted my girlfriend to come. She was hesitant because she was worried my family would say something rude again. I reassured her that everything would be fine and told her it mattered to me that she be there. She finally agreed, but she warned me that if my family crossed the line again, I better not defend it or minimize it.

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My wife and I had a really ugly fight recently. We kept it private at first because my parents were visiting. During those few days, she became distant with them too and barely spoke unless necessary.

Then her parents suddenly came over, and I realized she had been sharing every detail of our fights and relationship problems with them. What started as a private issue between us turned into a confrontation between both families. My wife and my mother got into a loud argument in front of everyone. I tried to stay calm at first, but eventually I snapped too and said hurtful things. At one point, her parents even suggested that if we do not want to stay together, we should separate.

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I used to think people were exaggerating when they said some women only care about money, status, or what a man can offer until I experienced something that changed my perspective.

I liked a girl I worked with. We sat next to each other, and from the beginning there was obvious mutual interest. But over time things started feeling inconsistent. Replies became slower, sometimes she would not respond at all, and the excuse was always that she was busy.

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I had an affair with a married man for 14 years. The pattern was always the same. He would disappear for months at a time to recommit to his marriage, then come back saying he loved me, couldn’t forget me, and wanted me in his life. This happened over and over again.

Last September he finally got caught and was kicked out of the marriage. He told me to be patient and give him space while he figured out what he wanted because he didn’t want me to be a rebound. Even then, he still came to see me a few times.

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My sister lives a really sheltered life. She’s 28, makes around $150k as a lawyer, paid off law school fast, and still lives at home. She’s never lived on her own, never really dated, and spends most of her time either with my parents or the same friends she’s had since high school. She’s terrified of “stranger danger” and avoids taking risks in life.

What frustrates me is how differently we were treated. When I was 20 and barely making $40k, my parents started talking about charging me rent. Meanwhile my sister pays for basically nothing besides her own phone and car insurance. My parents buy her things, take her on vacations, let her live completely expense free, and basically cushion her entire life. I also found out my mom lied to me about my sister supposedly paying rent.

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