Category: Advice Column

I’m a 33 year old man with a friend from childhood. Let’s call her Rose. We met when we were around 13 and have stayed in each other’s lives, even if only from a distance. When we were about 15 or 16, we probably would have dated if the timing had worked out differently. There was always something between us.

Instead, our relationship settled into a friendship. At one point I set her up with one of my closest friends, and they dated briefly. Later, she set me up with her cousin, and we went on a few dates, but nothing came of it.

A woman I’ve been dating recently posted a mirror selfie on Instagram from the same place I took her on our second date. A guy from another city commented “😮‍💨❤️” on the photo. They follow each other, have been liking each other’s posts for months, and she deleted his comment about 30 minutes later.

That same day, she told me she was traveling to visit her grandmother’s friend in another town. A few hours later, she sent me a photo of the view from where she was staying, but it appeared to be from a completely different city. The guy who commented on her photo also lives there.

I’m 38M, my wife is 43F. With our son away this week, I’d been looking forward to spending some one-on-one time together. She ended up taking a short-term job out of town, which was disappointing, but I supported her. She asked me to come visit for dinner, which I thought was sweet, so I canceled my plans and drove a couple hours to see her.

When I arrived at her hotel, some of her crew were in the lobby. One asked if she was joining them for dinner, and she said, “No, I’m having dinner with my friend.” She didn’t introduce me, just gave me a quick hug and walked me upstairs. Afterward she explained that she had told her coworkers she was married, but in their group chat she’d said a “friend” was visiting because she thought it would look unprofessional to tell the director her husband was staying at the hotel.

My wife (27F) and I (28M) have a 9 month old daughter. My wife left her job to stay home with our daughter until she’s old enough for preschool.

Our daughter is on a pretty predictable schedule. Every morning around 6 AM she wakes up crying. I usually handle that because I have to get up for work anyway. I calm her down, get her back to sleep, then get ready for work. I leave for work around 7:30.

My wife and I have three daughters. Our oldest is 16, our middle is 14, and our youngest is 10. Everyone on both sides of the family has brown hair, brown eyes, and straight hair. Our oldest and youngest daughters fit that pattern, but our middle daughter has curly blonde hair and green eyes.

I’ll be honest, I’ve struggled to bond with her because I had doubts about whether she was biologically mine. Those doubts made it hard for me to connect with her over the years.

A couple of months ago I lost my job. It wasn’t a surprise, and honestly I was relieved. The job had taken over my life, and for the first time in years I felt like I had room to breathe. My girlfriend earns enough that we’re financially comfortable, so I decided to spend the summer working on a novel I’ve dreamed about finishing for more than a decade.

The problem is that since June started, my girlfriend has been pushing me to find another job. We argue about it almost every day. She says we need to save for a house and a wedding. I tell her that spending a few months focused on my writing is a far better investment than taking a random job just to bring in a paycheck.

Last year, my wife gave me an ultimatum: either we opened our marriage, or we would divorce. I begrudgingly agreed to open it.

She almost immediately began a friends with benefits relationship with our daughter’s piano teacher. For most of that time, I felt miserable and depressed.