Here’s the thing about Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs): they’re not actually about improving performance. That’s just the branding, like how fast-food joints slap the word “fresh” on their menus as if the lettuce wasn’t harvested six months ago in a country you’ve never heard of. The PIP is less a rehabilitation program and more a corporate euthanasia protocol, designed to make your inevitable termination feel like something you had control over.
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