Caveman Circus

My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) have been together for over six years, since we were 18. We’ve built a serious life together—shared finances, a house deposit, career growth, and close ties with each other’s families. We function like a married couple in every way except the title.

Two years ago, he said he’d propose once I finished university. Since then, he’s continued to promise an engagement, but nothing has happened. I’ve told him I don’t care about the how—I just want to be engaged and moving toward marriage. He says he wants the same future with me, but when I ask what’s holding him back, he just says, “I don’t know.”

At this point, I feel like I’m begging for a proposal. So I’ve set a boundary: if he doesn’t propose by the end of the year, I’m ending the relationship.

I recently asked my husband how he felt about our relationship, and during a difficult but honest conversation, he admitted something that shattered me: he wishes he had accomplished more in life, but feels it’s too late now. He looked so tired and defeated when he said it. I haven’t stopped crying since.

He’s not unsuccessful, just not where he once hoped to be—and I’ve always believed in his potential. Now I’m overwhelmed with sadness and guilt, wondering if I held him back. I wish I could go back and tell the younger version of him that life is still full of possibilities. I’m sorry if my own emotional struggles—depression, anxiety, postpartum—kept me from being the partner he needed. I feel like I dragged him down.

My wife and I have been married for five years, but our relationship has had its struggles. About a year ago, I reconnected with an old friend from after high school, and we started spending time together as couples. During that time, his wife made a pass at me, and we’ve been having an affair for the past eight months.

We’ve talked about everything—our marriages, our frustrations, even the possibility of being together.

But now I’m torn: Are my feelings for her real, or is this just the excitement of the affair?

I recently started a new relationship, and things are going well—we’re still in the early stages, but there’s real potential here. The complication? I still have a huge collection of photos from my previous relationship. My ex and I were together for six years, and we traveled a lot, so I’ve got around 20,000 photos scattered across my phone, laptop, and hard drives.