I just want to thank all you guys for the kind words and support that you have given me and I truly, truly appreciate it and it means so fucking much to me to have your support and I am infinitely grateful to have such awesome people who come to the site. Before we get this show started again, I just want to post this quote from the movie Rocky Balboa. I wanted to share this quote with you guys because it helped me through the worst days of my life and hopefully it can help anyone out there going through a rough patch of life. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted it a few times before, but this time it has so much more meaning to me. While I was sitting in the E.R, lost, confused and totally out of my mind, no one could seem to bring me back to the sanity of reality. My friends, my roomate, the nurses, the doctor…no could snap me out of it, that is until my brother came. He came in wearing his Rocky t-shirt and stood before me, told me that it would be ok and quoted this from the movie

It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. 

And after hearing those words, I snapped out of it. Sanity started to set back in and I could feel myself returning to the safety of reality. I felt like myself again, I felt all the good memories returning. I felt the desire to live again. The quote has a different meaning for everybody and for me, it means to not to let drugs and alcohol destroy my goals, my dreams and my ambitions….to not let it come in the way of me becoming the person I’ve always wanted to be and to do the things I’ve always wanted to do. I have been given a second chance at life and I will not let this bullshit destroy it again. From this day forward I WILL LIVE LIFE.Thank you guys for listening and for everyone out there who needs someone to talk to, know this, WE will be there to listen and guide you through. You are not alone.

You might have noticed that I havent updated the site in the last 5 days and as much as I would like to attribute it to personal laziness, I ‘m going to be completely honest with you guys and tell you that I was in my own personal hell. Drugs, alcohol and back-dated emotional issues are not a combination you want to party with. I never thought I would hit rock bottom and end up in a psych-ward for 3 days but it happened and I’m telling you guys because I want my own story to serve as an example, that although you may tinker with drugs and alcohol and still manage to live your life in a relatively normal way, it will catch up to you and you will only end up hurting yourself or other people. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could party with the best of them. I thought I could be a damn rockstar and do it up and not suffer the repurcssions of such a lifestyle, but I was completely wrong and I went insanse for a couple days. I lost all concept of reality and literally felt like I was in hell. I wanted to kill myself and thank god, I had SOBER people in my life to help me through it. I cannot express how much I love the friends and family that were the light in my darkest days and I truly love them for saving my life. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m going to take it one step at a time and move my life in the positive direction that it needs to go and definitely tomorrow, Caveman Circus will be back bigger and better than before!