I love my partner, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated and don’t know how to talk to her about it without it turning into a fight. She’s very frugal and I worry she’ll see it as me trying to take advantage of her.
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Author: Theodore Lee
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.
“I can’t make more money or I will lose my benefits”
I’m 32, a mom to two young kids, and I feel completely stuck.
I work as a dog groomer in an Ohio town and bring in just under $23,000 a year. We get by thanks to government assistance — SNAP, Medicaid, and a housing voucher. I know some people look down on that, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s the only reason I can afford rent and groceries right now.
Lately, I’ve been told that I should try to earn more or find a better job — but if I do that, I lose the help. And the truth is, the extra money wouldn’t come close to replacing what we’d be losing. Just the jump in rent alone would put me underwater. It doesn’t feel like a step forward. It feels like a trap.
You Can’t Out-Perform Your Childhood Wounds
There comes a point in adulthood when the life you’ve built—no matter how shiny, successful, or stable it looks on the outside—starts to feel hollow. You’ve got the job. Maybe the house, the partner, the title, the car. People look at you and assume you’ve made it.
But inside? You feel like you’re white-knuckling your way through every day. Anxious. Restless. Tired in your bones. Angry at nothing and everything.
Linkage
A Damn Fine Collection of Fascinating Photos – Ned Hardy
Chimney starters are absolutely worth it—especially if you use a charcoal grill and want a cleaner, faster, more reliable way to light your coals – Amazon
100 Best Movies of the 21st Century – NY Times
Diddy’s Defense Rests After Just 20 Minutes in Sex Trafficking Trial—He Declines to Testify – BBC
How an Artist Helped Millions of Drivers With a Counterfeit Highway Sign – The Drive
Steve Burns, Original ‘Blue’s Clues’ Host, Is Launching a Podcast for Grown-Ups That’s a ‘Continuation’ of the Beloved Kids’ Show – Variety
Source: Fan who taunted Ketel Marte banned from all ballparks – ESPN
Koenigsegg Sadair’s Spear Is the Brand’s Most Aggressive Hypercar Yet – Car and Driver
10 Albums, Infinite Replay: What Makes These Records So Legendary – Ned Hardy
A cordless stick vacuum is worth it because you can clean up messes anywhere in the house without dragging around a cord or heavy machine – Amazon
AI Agents Are Getting Better at Writing Code—and Hacking It as Well – Wired
Goodbye Fancy Bar, Hello At-Home Pizza Party: Young Americans Cut Back – WSJ
Why is everyone playing Star Wars Battlefront 2? – Polygon
20 Photos Teenagers Today Won’t Get At All – Linkiest
Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle – The Onion
The Dumping Grounds
“We make $30k/month but still live paycheck to paycheck”
It feels crazy to admit this, but we bring in $30,000 a month, and somehow we’re still living paycheck to paycheck.
We’re not living lavishly—we’ve got two kids in private school, two car payments totaling $3,000/month, and a mortgage just under $5,000. There’s $40K in credit card debt, and a bunch of “normal” expenses that add up fast.
We have a part-time nanny, yard and pool maintenance, occasional family trips, and more nights of takeout than we’d like to admit. We just paid off a new roof and some home upgrades. Our rental property breaks even, and we’re still helping out family when they need it. But really? It’s the constant little stuff—Amazon, apps, Target runs, subscriptions—that bleeds us dry.
Poll of the Day
Poll not found
What It’s Like to Give Your Children Up for Adoption
You don’t wake up one day and think, “You know what? I think I’ll give my kids up today.” That’s not how this works. Giving your kids up for adoption isn’t a choice. It’s a reckoning.
“I suck at investing”
I’m not looking for judgment—I’ve already been incredibly hard on myself. I’ve made some poor decisions and followed advice that didn’t serve me well.
Although I did my research, I didn’t sell in time and now I’m feeling the weight of those choices. If anyone is willing to share any guidance or thoughts on what I can do moving forward, I’d truly appreciate it.
I know I made mistakes, but I’m hoping to learn and do better from here.
How Do I Benefit From Staying Stuck?
We don’t like to think we’re holding ourselves back. Most of us assume that if we’re stuck in a job we hate, a relationship that drains us, or a cycle of habits we swore we’d break, it’s because of circumstances beyond our control.
But there’s a quieter, more unsettling truth that psychologists and behavioral researchers have studied for decades: Sometimes, we stay stuck because—on some level—it serves us.