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Theodore Lee

4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality

missing out on relationships

Look, I get it. Life can be a real shit sandwich sometimes. Bad things happen to good people. The world is unfair. It’s easy to feel like you’re getting screwed over by the universe and there’s nothing you can do about it.

But here’s the harsh truth: if you constantly see yourself as a victim, you’re fucking yourself over more than anyone or anything else ever could. Having a victim mentality means you’ve given up your power and agency. You’ve decided that everything bad that happens is outside your control and everyone is out to get you. And that, frankly, is bullshit.

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Linkage

U.S. Sues to Break Up Ticketmaster Owner, Live Nation – NY Times

Lets Take a Stroll Through the Art Museum – Ned Hardy

Beware of the ‘Find My iPhone’ Scam – Shield and Fortify

A motion-activated toilet night-light which is a must-have if you’re tired of stumbling over yourself when you get up in the middle of the night to pee – Amazon

How Grand Canyon National Park Will Look in 100 Years – Outside

Neuralink’s First User Is ‘Constantly Multitasking’ With His Brain Implant – Wired

10 Best Quotes from Seinfeld That Are Still Funny – Snip Daily

The Most Magnificent Train Rides in the U.S. – Thrillist

What I’ve Learned from 400 Millionaire Interviews – ESI Money

The 10 Most Notorious Criminals in American History – Linkiest

Veal’s Reputation Is Complicated—And Worth Reassessing – Sauver

A Simple Habit That Brings Me Clarity and Peace – Becoming Minimalist

Historical Photo of the Day – Ned Hardy

A smart thermostat is a no brainer home upgrade. It can learn your schedule, turn itself down when nobody is home, balance temperatures and can be operated from your phone – Amazon

How to listen to, and enjoy, classical music – Psyche

40 Life Lessons I Know at 40 (That I Wish I Knew at 20) – Mark Manson

Lincoln’s Missing BodyguardWhat happened to Officer John Parker, the man who chose the wrong night to leave his post at Ford’s Theatre? – Smithsonian

Inside New York’s Most Famous Apartment Building – Architectural Digest

Why You Shouldn’t Over-Apologize, and What to Say Instead – Life Hacker

Jerry Seinfeld Paid $1.2M for the 1999 Porsche 911 Classic Factory One-Off – The Drive

“I’m 5’1 and it really makes me insecure about the way I’m perceived by society.”

I’m a 19 year old dude, who’s lately been feeling really bad about my height. I’m just about 5’1 ft and it really makes me insecure about the way I’m perceived by society. I’m fairly buff and I do amateur bantamweight MMA, but I still find myself self-doubting my masculinity.

I sometimes have extreme periods of self-hatred where I trash my room or feel the urge to punch in mirrors that reflect my image. I can’t for the life of me get over my height; I feel that I’m unlovable.

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“My wife who occasionally hits me”

abusive relationship

I have been married for 13 years to a wife who is in most ways a wonderful partner – smart, organized, good mother to our two children, generally respectful and not overly controlling. We’ve been on wonderful trips together.

She is however, a bit high strung, and does a real hot temper, and when she gets mad about something, will occasionally punch or slap me. Now all the time, but sometimes — say, a few times a year.

I’m a lot larger than her and so I can take it (I played contact sports as a kid) but I don’t exactly like it. (The yelling isn’t great either) I’ve told her that I don’t like it — and I don’t think she’s exactly proud of it and I think she is ashamed at her temper. That said she can also be somewhat self-righteous and isn’t highly apologetic. That may be because some of the stuff she gets angry about isn’t trivial but objectively anger-inducing (say, totally forgetting about something I’d repeatedly promised to do, or relentlessly pushing for things or reopening decisions like more or longer vacations when she wants to work more). I just want to admit I’m not a perfect husband who is yelled at for no reason.

In marriage therapy I mentioned it as well but for some reason the therapist didn’t make a big deal of it, but focused more on what I am doing to make her angry. It would be a lot to throw away a long marriage over a few slaps here and there.

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The Gritty Work of Self-Discovery: Why Facing Your Demons Is the Key to Authentic Living

self_discovery

Most of us are walking around with our heads so far up our own asses that we wouldn’t know our authentic selves if they bit us in the face. We’re so busy trying to be who we think we should be, who society tells us we should be, that we’ve completely lost touch with who we actually are.

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The Uncomfortable Truth About Marriage

(photo: Katarzyna Grabowska)

So, you’ve tied the knot. You had the big fancy wedding, posted all the obligatory honeymoon pics on Instagram, and now you’re back to normal life as a married couple. Time to just coast on marital bliss for the next 50 years, right? Wrong.

Here’s the thing no one tells you about marriage: The wedding isn’t the finish line – it’s the starting gun. All that romance and excitement leading up to the big day? That’s just the shiny packaging. The real “prize” inside is a hell of a lot of hard work.

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Linkage

20 Photos That Will Put a Smile on Your Face – Ned Hardy

Everything You Need to Know About Losing Weight in a Safe, Sustainable Way – Nutrition

Professional barbers swear by these for trimming beards and facial hair. Wth proper care, it could possibly last your entire lifetime– Amazon

Victims Speak Out: The Dark Reality of Sextortion – Shield and Fortify

How Has Inflation Hit Your Finances? 10 People Get Candid – WSJ

The Greatest Car Chases in Movie History, Ranked – The Ringer

For Some Maniacal Reason, Teachers Gave This Math Problem to 9-Year-Olds – Popular Mechanics

The US Is Forming a Global AI Safety Network With Key Allies – Wired

What I’ve Learned: Stephen King – Esquire

Tales From the Trenches of Red Lobster’s Endless Shrimp – Slate

On self-driving, Waymo is playing chess while Tesla plays checkers – ARS Technica

Dopamine detoxing, hacking, and fasting: Is any of it real? – VOX

This is endlessly useful if you like to tinker with or repair your electronics – Amazon

The 7 Reasons You Stop Improving (and How to Keep Getting Better) – Scott Young

A big survey asked Americans about their finances. Here are some trouble spots – NPR

The 32 Most Iconic Poems in the English Language – LitHub

How to Stop Feeling Insecure in a Relationship as a Man – Knowledge For Men

Yes, you can still visit Bob Dole’s 1996 campaign website – Dole Kemp ‘ 96

14 Men And Women Talk About The Best Sex They Ever Had (And What Made It  Amazing) – Thought Catalog

How a great conversation is like a game of catch – Ideas

A Civilian’s Primer on Military Rank and Insignia – The Art Of Manliness

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