Advice Column

Last night my boyfriend (24M) and I (23F) were talking about our future. We’ve been together for 4.5 years. I’m not asking to get engaged right now, but I wanted to talk about where things are headed.

We got onto the topic of engagement rings. I mentioned that I think a ring should reflect serious intention and commitment, and that traditionally people talk about rings being something you save for. I want to be clear that I’m not expecting him to go broke, just that it should be something meaningful and planned for. He then told me that I would need to “earn” an engagement ring.

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Five years ago, I moved back home from college because of COVID. My mom was working and supporting us while I finished my Master’s. After nine months, I found a remote internship and started helping with bills. A few months later, I landed a full-time job and became the main provider.

Around that time, my mom quit—or was fired from—her cleaning job. The work environment was miserable, and after unemployment she stopped looking for work and moved into early retirement. Her pension is very small, not enough to live on, so since then I’ve been paying for almost everything.

[Read more…] about “I (28M) support my mom (64F) alone, and I feel trapped and resentful.”

My wife has been violent and aggressive for a long time, but since becoming pregnant it has escalated to an almost constant, daily occurrence.

She has a history of mental health struggles and was diagnosed with PMDD about a year ago. She only takes Vyvanse and refuses therapy or further treatment, taking no responsibility for her behavior.

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I’m a 40M and recently discovered that my wife (33F) has a second phone. We’ve been together for seven years and married for three.

This started about two years ago, when she began acting distant. She was always keeping her phone close, smiling at it, and guarding it. It felt like classic emotional-affair behavior. I confronted her back then, and we agreed to try to work through it.

Since then, I’ve caught her doing this five more times. Before anyone says it, yes, I know staying makes me look foolish. From what I can tell, these interactions have all been online and not in person, which still matters to me.

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Hi everyone. I’m 25F and married to my husband (28M). We’ve been together for seven years and married for six months. We’re currently going through a rough patch, and I’d really like to hear male perspectives since most of the feedback I’ve received so far has been from women.

About four years ago, my husband came to me extremely upset and depressed because he hated his job. He was also deeply into YouTube gurus and the online financial freedom space. He asked if he could quit his job to focus on videography and build a business. Feeling bad for him, I agreed. I also let him use my credit card to buy video equipment and courses.

[Read more…] about “My husband has been unemployed for 4 yrs figuring out his life while I work and pay for most of the bills.”

My boyfriend and I have only been together for three months, and now he’s getting kicked out of his parents’ house because they think he drinks too much. I feel like he’s hinting that he wants to move in with me, but we haven’t been together long enough for me to feel comfortable with that—especially since we’ve already had arguments about money.

I live alone, work multiple jobs, and go to school full-time just to cover my bills. I have to live very minimally and frugally. He says he’s frugal too, but he constantly spends money on things he “needs,” then complains about paying for my food when we go out.

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I’m a 23F and my boyfriend is 27M. A friend recently sent me a screenshot of his profile on Grindr — and it’s unmistakably him. My stomach dropped when I saw it. I’m shocked, hurt, and honestly have no idea what to make of it. We’ve been together almost two years, and this is the last thing I ever expected.

I haven’t confronted him yet because I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know if he’s cheating, experimenting, or if something else is going on. I just need advice on how to approach this and what to say when I finally talk to him.

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My partner is 40 and has nothing saved for retirement. He had been expecting a large inheritance from his father when he passed that ended up not materializing for reasons I won’t get into (I know, not exactly the most sound financial planning). I’m on track to be able to retire but there’s no way I can afford to save enough for us both. He’s also currently unemployed, he has been trying to get into a new field for the past two years that also may not end up materializing either. There’s a good chance he may be making very low wages for the foreseeable future, and it will be very difficult for him to catch up in any meaningful way.

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I am wondering why so many places recommend saving such large amounts of money, $1 million or more, for retirement. If social security pays $40k per year, and Medicare exists, what is that $1 million being used for?

[Read more…] about “Do you really needa to save for retirement if you’re getting social security?”