Advice Column

I’m an avid chess player, and over the years, my chess rating has become more than just a number—it’s become a part of my identity. Whenever I win a game and see my rating go up, I feel on top of the world. But when I lose and my rating drops, it feels like a personal failure. These fluctuations have started to impact my mood, self-esteem, and even how I interact with others.

Lately, it’s been getting worse. I find myself obsessively checking my rating and replaying my losses in my head, wondering what I could have done differently. I compare myself to higher-rated players and feel inferior and stupid. This has led to anxiety and a lack of enjoyment in other areas of my life. I’m caught in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and pressure to perform, and I don’t know how to break free.

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I’m 27M, my wife is 25F, and we’ve been together for 6 years (2 married). I love her and I’m happy she’s found a passion for social media—she posts daily, is growing a following, and even makes a little money from it.

But here’s the issue: I can’t stand social media myself. I don’t want to be in her videos or pictures, and I’ve said I’ll support her from a distance—but it’s just not my thing. Despite that, she often sends me couple content and asks why I can’t be like those guys, and says I’m unsupportive because I don’t want to participate.

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I could really use some advice about what’s going on with my husband and me. I’m 27 and he’s 28. We’ve been married for four years. He’s an introvert, probably a little bit on the spectrum, and has a room full of hobbies—sim racing, LEGO, soccer analysis, the works. That space is his sanctuary, and he’s always loved sharing it with me.

But recently, I lost my temper during a moment of frustration and said some really hurtful things. I told him his interests bored me, said he needed friends, and even questioned why I married him. I didn’t mean any of it, and I feel horrible about what I said.

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I’m 27 now, and I keep replaying all the cringey things I did in my early twenties. I’m talking about getting too drunk, making a fool of myself, and honestly just not being the best friend or version of myself. It feels like I have to learn everything the hard way.

Sometimes I said or did embarrassing things. Sometimes I drank too much at work events. Sometimes I was just plain annoying to be around at night. Looking back, it makes me cringe.

The thing is, I’m actually proud of who I am now. All those mistakes shaped me into the person I am today. But I still have trouble forgiving my younger self. I keep wondering—how did I not know better?

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I’m 24F, and I did everything I was supposed to—went to college, got a degree, and now I’m $25k in debt I can’t pay off. Since graduating last year, I’ve applied to 200+ jobs, had only two interviews, and just one offer—for the same pay I made before college. I’m barely scraping by, just covering rent and my car note, and honestly, I feel like a failure.

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We’ve been together for six years. In our third year, I cheated on him with a close family friend because I took him for granted and didn’t value the relationship. He broke up with me for months, but when I realized how much he meant to me, I begged him to take me back. He agreed on the condition I never speak to that guy again. Since then, I haven’t cheated or been tempted, and I now see how great a partner I have.

[Read more…] about “My fiancé has some huge request in order for him to regain his trust.

Is it just me, or does it feel like modern work is a giant scam? Most days, I’m sitting at my desk feeling like I’m just helping someone else get richer while my own life slips by. The harder I work, the more I realize the system is rigged: a few people at the top win big, and the rest of us are left scrambling for scraps.

All those motivational posters about “climbing the ladder” just sound like a bad joke now. I’m not climbing anything—just trying not to get buried under bills and burnout.

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I’m a 28-year-old guy, and my girlfriend of six years just told me she said “I love you” to another man—let’s call him Tim. They work together and have become close over the past year. Tim’s confessed his feelings before, but this weekend she finally told him she loves him too. They cried, talked, and held hands, but she insists nothing else has happened, and I believe her.

I know it’s possible to care for more than one person, and I’ve had crushes too, but I don’t act on them or let things get this far. Now I feel like I’ve been emotionally cheated on. She says she still loves me and wants to stay together, but everything feels different now. I’m torn between breaking up or trying to move forward, but I honestly don’t know what to do. Any advice?

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I’m a 35-year-old guy and, to be honest, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I never had a girlfriend, dating feels impossible and I don’t have much of a social life these days. I work from home, most of my friends have moved away or are busy with their own families.

I’ve read about “professional cuddlers” you can hire to cuddle with. Part of me feels kind of embarrassed or ashamed for even thinking about paying someone for basic human contact, but another part of me just wants to feel connected to someone, even if it’s just for an hour.

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