Category: Advice Column

I’ve been living with my parents my whole life, and I feel stuck. Financially, it’s like having golden handcuffs. They don’t charge me rent, don’t mind if I eat their food, and there are no real house rules. They mostly leave me alone, except when they need help with tech. The house is messy because they’re too old to care about organizing, and while it frustrates me, it’s not something I can fix on my own without their participation. Honestly, I can’t complain too much about the setup—it’s free, easy, and low-stress.

I’m 37 so dead center millennial. I’m happy for anyone who is able to get a house who wants one, but my wife (35) and I have been living together and working for almost 13 years and have since been unable to crawl out of the eternal renting hole.

When I hear someone younger than me has a house I feel like I failed somehow, or that I’m stupid for not chasing a house in my early 20s or something.

I don’t wish badly on anyone who gets their own house or anything. this is just about my own personal inadequacies.

My experiences with women have been terrible. No matter how much effort I put into putting myself out and listening to people’s advice, I’m always ending in the same outcome. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. I’m pretty sure it’ll almost be 10 rejections in a row.

I just can’t understand why women don’t like me. I talk to them with the intention of getting to know them and be friendly and then I’ll show romantic interest. And as soon as I do, I’m rejected.

And I’m finding it really hard to believe height and race don’t matter. People will tell me “just go outside and you’ll see short/brown people in relationships” – but just cause you see it happen sometimes doesn’t mean it’s not insanely difficult.

I love my wife, but I don’t know if I can live like this anymore. We’ve been married for over a year, and after moving in together, I discovered she had extreme cleanliness rules she hid while we were dating.

Everything from the outside is considered dirty—I have to undress in the entryway, shower immediately, disinfect my phone and glasses, and even retrieve my clothes in my underwear if I want to re-wear them. If I step outside, even briefly, I have to shower again. Groceries must be individually cleaned before being put away. If I drop something on the floor, it’s “contaminated” and either needs to be thrown away or heavily sanitized. She scrubs surfaces constantly and gets visibly distressed if something isn’t done “correctly.” Despite my efforts to comply, she gets angry if anything goes wrong, and she’s just as hard on herself.

My daughter is almost 11, and lately, lying has become a frequent challenge. It shows up in little ways — about school, sports, how she’s spending her time. She attends a charter school that encourages close parent involvement, so I often find myself catching these small untruths day after day, which has been tough.

My 18-year-old daughter has been dating a 51-year-old man for two months. My husband and I strongly disapprove of the relationship—not just because of the age gap, but because he’s older than either of us and we fear she’s being manipulated.

When we confronted her, things escalated. She moved out and is now living with him. We tried involving local authorities, but were told there’s nothing they can do since she’s legally an adult.

Now we’re empty nesters, blindsided, heartbroken, and deeply concerned. I feel depressed and helpless. How do I cope with this situation?

We were just sitting in the car, not even arguing, just existing. And I looked over at her and in my head, I said, “Why can’t she just fucking stop sometimes?”
Stop being difficult.
Stop snapping at me and the kids over every little thing.
Stop being so damn cold all the time.
Stop acting like everything we do is a burden to her.
Just… stop.