Advice Column

Hello, I (32F) have the opportunity to go on a international vacation on my own. I have travel credits I need to use and going on a solo vacation has always been on my to-do list. I am also a mom of 2 and my husband (36M) is encouraging it.

I just recently found out my friend (30M) will be also doing a solo trip and going to see a concert where I was wanting to go. I think it would be awesome if I could fly with him there, see the show and then part ways.

I talked to my husband and he is okay with it although I’m worried about what other people will think, especially my in laws and my parents “why would she go on vacation with another man?!” But I don’t want to have to explain myself over and over.

Input on whether this is appropriate?

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I am a six-foot-tall guy, in good shape, late twenties, decent looking, have a good job, take care of myself. On paper, it seems like I should not have a hard time dating. But I cannot even get a date. Not a single one. I try apps, I ask women out in person, I try to meet people through friends—nothing. Just constant rejection or, at best, being told I am “such a good friend.”

The part that really gets to me, though, is seeing guys who are honestly not attractive—guys who are shorter, out of shape, kind of awkward, whatever and walking around with girlfriends. I am not trying to sound cruel, but it makes no sense to me. I see couples all the time and I cannot help but think, “How did he pull that off?” It is like they have cracked some code I just do not get. Meanwhile I am out here doing everything right and getting nowhere.

Is there something I am missing?

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I’m 21F and have been with my boyfriend (22M) for four years. Since finishing high school, he’s barely worked—just one summer job. He doesn’t want to go to college or get a regular job, saying he hates the idea of working for someone else. He streamed online for two years, then half-heartedly tried starting a business, but nothing ever came of either. Mostly, he plays video games all day and says jobs just don’t feel right.

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I support trans people and I support my husband being his/her true self but it’s so hard and I don’t know if I can do this.

I’m attracted to men especially the man I married but he’s going to be a woman now and I don’t find that attractive on a physical or emotional level so I feel really heartbroken and I don’t know how I’m going to explain it to our family, our friends or especially our children.

Again I want to be supportive if this is my husband’s true self but I don’t think our marriage can survive this because of my own preferences etc. It’s just so difficult and honestly I don’t know what to do…

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I’m 45, and I feel like I’ve screwed up my financial life. I make decent money (about $80k a year), but between raising kids and just not paying attention, I barely have $40,000 saved for retirement. Every time I see something about how much people my age should have, I feel sick to my stomach.

I want to catch up, but saving a few hundred bucks a month feels hopeless at this point. I keep reading about people making a killing in crypto or day trading, and honestly, it sounds tempting. I know it’s risky, but the idea of doubling or tripling my money fast is way more appealing than grinding away for the next 20 years and still coming up short.

Am I crazy for even thinking about this?

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My girlfriend recently started her Master’s and has been hanging out with a group of friends from college, including some guys. I never thought much of it, but last weekend, I asked if any of the guys had hit on her. She initially brushed it off, but then admitted that one of them asked if she had a boyfriend. She told him yes, and he said it was too bad because he and others had been wondering if she was single. She didn’t tell me right away because she didn’t want me to get paranoid.

[Read more…] about “My girlfriend let a guy that likes her sleep in her bed.”

I love my dad, and I don’t want to lose him. But this is the second time he’s done this. The first time already left a scar in my mind. Honestly, I’m not even surprised anymore, but I really trusted him. I thought he felt at least a little bit of remorse when he realized we knew.

Right now, I’m crying so hard I barely have the energy to type. I don’t want my family to fall apart. He has two teenage daughters—how could he do this? I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. My mom and sister just found out today.

[Read more…] about “My dad cheated on my mom again and I don’t know what to do”

Context: I’d say I’m a pretty nice person, try to be empathetic to everybody even “mean” people, I keep a policy of putting myself in other peoples positions, etc.

Recently though, I’ve been thinking about giving up on this, feel like people who are assholes do so well from being assholes, and I don’t remember what was the reason which made me choose this empathetic path in the first place, it could be because I’m drunk right now.

Anyway I’m hoping someone can shed some light on the issue, and help me remember why it’s worth being a good and empathetic person, instead of being egotistical and self minded.

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I’ve been married for almost six years to a woman I truly love and respect. We have a good relationship—solid friendship, intimacy, shared goals. But lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming or fantasizing about other women.

Sometimes it’s someone I know, sometimes just random strangers or old flings. The thoughts aren’t obsessive or constant, but when they show up, I feel guilty. Like I’m betraying her, even if it’s just in my head.

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