Advice Column

My girlfriend recently started her Master’s and has been hanging out with a group of friends from college, including some guys. I never thought much of it, but last weekend, I asked if any of the guys had hit on her. She initially brushed it off, but then admitted that one of them asked if she had a boyfriend. She told him yes, and he said it was too bad because he and others had been wondering if she was single. She didn’t tell me right away because she didn’t want me to get paranoid.

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I love my dad, and I don’t want to lose him. But this is the second time he’s done this. The first time already left a scar in my mind. Honestly, I’m not even surprised anymore, but I really trusted him. I thought he felt at least a little bit of remorse when he realized we knew.

Right now, I’m crying so hard I barely have the energy to type. I don’t want my family to fall apart. He has two teenage daughters—how could he do this? I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. My mom and sister just found out today.

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Context: I’d say I’m a pretty nice person, try to be empathetic to everybody even “mean” people, I keep a policy of putting myself in other peoples positions, etc.

Recently though, I’ve been thinking about giving up on this, feel like people who are assholes do so well from being assholes, and I don’t remember what was the reason which made me choose this empathetic path in the first place, it could be because I’m drunk right now.

Anyway I’m hoping someone can shed some light on the issue, and help me remember why it’s worth being a good and empathetic person, instead of being egotistical and self minded.

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I’ve been married for almost six years to a woman I truly love and respect. We have a good relationship—solid friendship, intimacy, shared goals. But lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming or fantasizing about other women.

Sometimes it’s someone I know, sometimes just random strangers or old flings. The thoughts aren’t obsessive or constant, but when they show up, I feel guilty. Like I’m betraying her, even if it’s just in my head.

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Hey, how do I stop being so judgmental and thinking I’m better than other people—when I know I’m really not? I realize this is an issue for me and I’ve tried to just ignore it, but I can’t. Sometimes I feel like I’m better than everyone, but other times I feel like I’m the worst person ever. It’s this constant back and forth between feeling superior and feeling inferior, and I don’t know where it comes from. It’s been this way since I was a kid, and I want to change before I get any older (I’m a teen right now).

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My daughter is 16. She’s sharp, well-liked, and walks into a room like she owns it. And sometimes, I feel this ugly resentment toward her.

Not because she’s done anything unforgivable—she hasn’t. But every little thing she does reminds me of her mother.

Her mom left when our daughter was little. She lied to me for years, made promises she never kept, and when she finally walked out, she barely looked back. She moved across the country with someone new, leaving our daughter behind with me, but still managing to control the narrative—making herself the victim to anyone who would listen.

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Most days I don’t even look at myself in the mirror because I hate aging. I wish I could just look like I did at 18 forever.

It’s been a rough few years and I just wanna be happy with aging. I see older adults living life and I want to be happy like them.

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I’ve (22m) been dating this girl (24f) for about two months, and things are great when we’re together in person—we get along well and complement each other. But when it comes to texting, it’s pretty rough.

She’s told me she’s not great at texting, and I appreciate her honesty, but it still kind of stings not hearing from her for long stretches. I’m the type who loves those good morning/good night texts and sharing little updates throughout the day, but with her, sometimes it’s a week or more before I get a reply.

Occasionally she’ll text back once a day, but usually it’s just to confirm plans. I know she’s busy, and I feel guilty even wanting to bring it up, but I’ve been feeling pretty lonely because of it.

How do I talk to her about this without coming off as needy?

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