Category: Advice Column

Recently hosted a bday party for my wife at our house, had friends over, it was themed, I made a ton of food, got decor and costumes, etc.

She specifically invited another guy she told me she barely knew and was trying to hook him up with a friend. Come to find out he has a gf already, and my wife was ALL OVER HIM the entire time.

Caressing his face, back or neck, arm around him, rubbing his back, biting her lip while smiling and looking at him. Her attention was all to him, even when me and her played beer pong she’d take her shot then go right back next to him to talk, waited on her to shoot a few times.

I called her out, she said she doesn’t remember, she was drunk, and denies any of it happened. I was sober, watched it all in front of me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, living together for one. He purchased his house before we started dating, and I moved in from a rental. He pays the mortgage, and I cover all utilities, maintenance, and groceries, which felt fair.

As we talk about our future—marriage and kids—we’ve discussed renovating the house so it’s suitable for a family. The estimated cost is around $100,000, and the idea was that this would be my “buy-in” to the house. We even talked about drawing up an agreement to protect both of us.

As this has become more real, I’ve started feeling unsettled about investing that much money into a house I don’t own. I told him I’d want to be engaged before starting renovations so I feel the commitment matches the risk.

About 3 months ago I came to know a new coworker. He’s hot, very friendly, and also married. There have been times where I feel he’s more friendly with me- we always have this natural banter without trying. No lines have been crossed but I feel a vibe.

For example, a few days ago I stopped by his department to ask someone else a question. Whenever I’m over there he gets up or starts a conversation with me. So he asked me a work question. We ended up talking for 15 minutes. I told him I had to go and made it to the hallway and he said, “hey wait- “ and had another work question for me. We talked a while longer.

He greets me with my name and makes a lot of eye contact which I know can be normal. Maybe he’s just a flirty person. No touching, no compliments.

I (F25) have been with my boyfriend (M29) for over two years. We love each other, and until recently, our relationship felt amazing—like we never left the honeymoon phase. But the past few months have been different. We’ve been fighting nonstop, and almost every argument ends up being about what I’m doing wrong. It always escalates to him saying we need to reevaluate our relationship or that he’s not sure he wants this anymore.

I am 45 and have been bad with money and saving/investing but trying to right the ship. However I know I’m pretty screwed.

Here are my stats-

Income- $95k IRA- $14K; maxed out for 2024 401k- $42k; will be about $8-10k short of max for 2024 Savings- $60k in hysa

I rent paying $1500, no other debts. Would like to get a house, but don’t see it happening.

I am trying to learn more about saving and investing. Trying to put a plan together but overwhelmed and think I won’t make it.

Last night my boyfriend (24M) and I (23F) were talking about our future. We’ve been together for 4.5 years. I’m not asking to get engaged right now, but I wanted to talk about where things are headed.

We got onto the topic of engagement rings. I mentioned that I think a ring should reflect serious intention and commitment, and that traditionally people talk about rings being something you save for. I want to be clear that I’m not expecting him to go broke, just that it should be something meaningful and planned for. He then told me that I would need to “earn” an engagement ring.

Five years ago, I moved back home from college because of COVID. My mom was working and supporting us while I finished my Master’s. After nine months, I found a remote internship and started helping with bills. A few months later, I landed a full-time job and became the main provider.

Around that time, my mom quit—or was fired from—her cleaning job. The work environment was miserable, and after unemployment she stopped looking for work and moved into early retirement. Her pension is very small, not enough to live on, so since then I’ve been paying for almost everything.

My wife has been violent and aggressive for a long time, but since becoming pregnant it has escalated to an almost constant, daily occurrence.

She has a history of mental health struggles and was diagnosed with PMDD about a year ago. She only takes Vyvanse and refuses therapy or further treatment, taking no responsibility for her behavior.

I’m a 40M and recently discovered that my wife (33F) has a second phone. We’ve been together for seven years and married for three.

This started about two years ago, when she began acting distant. She was always keeping her phone close, smiling at it, and guarding it. It felt like classic emotional-affair behavior. I confronted her back then, and we agreed to try to work through it.

Since then, I’ve caught her doing this five more times. Before anyone says it, yes, I know staying makes me look foolish. From what I can tell, these interactions have all been online and not in person, which still matters to me.

My boyfriend and I have only been together for three months, and now he’s getting kicked out of his parents’ house because they think he drinks too much. I feel like he’s hinting that he wants to move in with me, but we haven’t been together long enough for me to feel comfortable with that—especially since we’ve already had arguments about money.

I live alone, work multiple jobs, and go to school full-time just to cover my bills. I have to live very minimally and frugally. He says he’s frugal too, but he constantly spends money on things he “needs,” then complains about paying for my food when we go out.