I love my partner, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated and don’t know how to talk to her about it without it turning into a fight. She’s very frugal and I worry she’ll see it as me trying to take advantage of her.
Advice Column
“I can’t make more money or I will lose my benefits”
I’m 32, a mom to two young kids, and I feel completely stuck.
I work as a dog groomer in an Ohio town and bring in just under $23,000 a year. We get by thanks to government assistance — SNAP, Medicaid, and a housing voucher. I know some people look down on that, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s the only reason I can afford rent and groceries right now.
Lately, I’ve been told that I should try to earn more or find a better job — but if I do that, I lose the help. And the truth is, the extra money wouldn’t come close to replacing what we’d be losing. Just the jump in rent alone would put me underwater. It doesn’t feel like a step forward. It feels like a trap.
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“We make $30k/month but still live paycheck to paycheck”
It feels crazy to admit this, but we bring in $30,000 a month, and somehow we’re still living paycheck to paycheck.
We’re not living lavishly—we’ve got two kids in private school, two car payments totaling $3,000/month, and a mortgage just under $5,000. There’s $40K in credit card debt, and a bunch of “normal” expenses that add up fast.
We have a part-time nanny, yard and pool maintenance, occasional family trips, and more nights of takeout than we’d like to admit. We just paid off a new roof and some home upgrades. Our rental property breaks even, and we’re still helping out family when they need it. But really? It’s the constant little stuff—Amazon, apps, Target runs, subscriptions—that bleeds us dry.
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“I suck at investing”
I’m not looking for judgment—I’ve already been incredibly hard on myself. I’ve made some poor decisions and followed advice that didn’t serve me well.
Although I did my research, I didn’t sell in time and now I’m feeling the weight of those choices. If anyone is willing to share any guidance or thoughts on what I can do moving forward, I’d truly appreciate it.
I know I made mistakes, but I’m hoping to learn and do better from here.
“Been with my boyfriend for 11 years — he’s rich, I’m not. I’m scared of our future.”
I’m 27 and have been with my boyfriend (28) for 11 years. He comes from wealth, and I’ve always known that. Now he’s asking for a prenup, which I understand — that part doesn’t bother me. What hurts is how he talks to me.
I grew up poor, became a nurse practitioner, and now make $210K juggling two jobs. I even bought my parents a house. I’m proud of what I’ve built.
But lately, his words sting more than the money gap. When I asked if I’d have ownership in a property I helped pay for, he said, “It’s not my fault your parents didn’t give you anything. You might, depending on how I feel.” He’s called me a gold digger, a bitch, and said things like, “If you mess with me, I’ll make sure you never see a dime.”
“My brother won the lottery and I’m jealous and bitter”
Two years ago, my brother won the lottery. Like, literally won $3 million. Just a regular ticket he picked up at a gas station. I remember he called me, laughing and crying at the same time. I was happy for him. I really was. But ever since then, something in me has started to rot.
He and his wife used the money wisely. Paid off debts, bought a house outright, helped out our mom by clearing her mortgage. They put a bunch into investments, and now they’re basically done with the whole “working full-time” thing. She stays home with their kid. He works maybe a day or two a week, just to keep from getting bored.
And I’m still here. Grinding.
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“I can’t stop yelling at my girlfriend”
Over the last few months my girlfriend and I have had a few fights over how I talk to her. I didn’t recognize it at first but the more I become aware the more I see it.
It seems like anytime there’s any issues or any amount of tension, no matter how little, between us I just blow up and scream at her.
I don’t mean to do it that’s just how I always talked to my parents growing up as they would constantly scream at me.
“So this is it, huh?”
I’m nearly 40, divorced. I live with my mom, in a kind of mutually beneficial arrangement- I pay the mortgage, which is like…. 1000 dollars a month…. And I don’t have to pay Los Angeles rent. But she needs me there because otherwise she can’t keep the house.
So, I’m working. The job is just a job. Pays well but not well enough to live in LA and pay rent and have headroom. I can’t really leave. I also just do not care about my work and I’m phoning it in. And the world is falling apart.
“\What’s the best retirement strategy at 60 with no savings, no assets and low social security?”
I’m facing a tough future with Social Security—looks like I’ll get about $650 a month at age 67, and it doesn’t seem possible to raise it much. I have 32 years of work history, three zero-income years, and nothing to show except some small self-employment income.
“I can’t please my wife”
I’m at a loss. My wife (31F) and I (35M) have been together five years and have two young kids. Early on, I caught her sexting and talking to men online. She’s always had kinks she was embarrassed about, which she now explores with sex workers on OnlyFans. I tried to set boundaries but eventually allowed it, figuring at least she wasn’t hiding anything. I’ve done everything I can to fulfill her fantasies, but she constantly critiques me. My confidence is shot. Every other partner I’ve had was satisfied, but nothing I do is ever good enough for her.