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Alright, let’s get one thing straight: hustling at work is all fine and dandy. You’ve got your promotions, your fancy titles, and a LinkedIn profile that makes you look like the second coming of Steve Jobs. Bravo. But here’s a little secret that nobody seems to be talking about: your career isn’t going to spoon-feed you happiness when you’re 80 years old and your biggest companion is a dented coffee mug from the office.
Alright, let’s cut the crap. You’ve probably heard it a million times: “Embrace your emotions.” Yeah, it sounds like the kind of fluffy advice you’d get from a self-help book you found at a garage sale. But here’s the kicker—it’s true. And not in a “let’s all hold hands and sing Kumbaya” kind of way, but in a raw, unfiltered, brutally honest way that can actually change your life.
Look, I know your phone is your precious little baby. It’s your lifeline to the world, your source of endless entertainment, and your faithful companion through every boring meeting and awkward social situation. But let’s be real – constantly checking your phone is making you a jittery, distracted mess.
You’re not alone. We’re all hooked on these little dopamine-dispensing devices. But just because something’s common doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Cigarettes, heroin, reality TV – all popular, all fucking terrible for your well-being.
So how do you break free from your phone’s seductive grip?
1. Make it difficult for you to meet/connect/spend time with family or friends and will repeatedly make critical comments (to isolate you)
2. They don’t respect your boundaries. And they subtly push them until you find yourself tolerating things you would usually run for the hills for
Look, I get it. Life can be a real shit sandwich sometimes. Bad things happen to good people. The world is unfair. It’s easy to feel like you’re getting screwed over by the universe and there’s nothing you can do about it.
But here’s the harsh truth: if you constantly see yourself as a victim, you’re fucking yourself over more than anyone or anything else ever could. Having a victim mentality means you’ve given up your power and agency. You’ve decided that everything bad that happens is outside your control and everyone is out to get you. And that, frankly, is bullshit.
I’m a 19 year old dude, who’s lately been feeling really bad about my height. I’m just about 5’1 ft and it really makes me insecure about the way I’m perceived by society. I’m fairly buff and I do amateur bantamweight MMA, but I still find myself self-doubting my masculinity.
I sometimes have extreme periods of self-hatred where I trash my room or feel the urge to punch in mirrors that reflect my image. I can’t for the life of me get over my height; I feel that I’m unlovable.
I have been married for 13 years to a wife who is in most ways a wonderful partner – smart, organized, good mother to our two children, generally respectful and not overly controlling. We’ve been on wonderful trips together.
She is however, a bit high strung, and does a real hot temper, and when she gets mad about something, will occasionally punch or slap me. Now all the time, but sometimes — say, a few times a year.
I’m a lot larger than her and so I can take it (I played contact sports as a kid) but I don’t exactly like it. (The yelling isn’t great either) I’ve told her that I don’t like it — and I don’t think she’s exactly proud of it and I think she is ashamed at her temper. That said she can also be somewhat self-righteous and isn’t highly apologetic. That may be because some of the stuff she gets angry about isn’t trivial but objectively anger-inducing (say, totally forgetting about something I’d repeatedly promised to do, or relentlessly pushing for things or reopening decisions like more or longer vacations when she wants to work more). I just want to admit I’m not a perfect husband who is yelled at for no reason.
In marriage therapy I mentioned it as well but for some reason the therapist didn’t make a big deal of it, but focused more on what I am doing to make her angry. It would be a lot to throw away a long marriage over a few slaps here and there.
Most of us are walking around with our heads so far up our own asses that we wouldn’t know our authentic selves if they bit us in the face. We’re so busy trying to be who we think we should be, who society tells us we should be, that we’ve completely lost touch with who we actually are.
(photo: Katarzyna Grabowska)
So, you’ve tied the knot. You had the big fancy wedding, posted all the obligatory honeymoon pics on Instagram, and now you’re back to normal life as a married couple. Time to just coast on marital bliss for the next 50 years, right? Wrong.
Here’s the thing no one tells you about marriage: The wedding isn’t the finish line – it’s the starting gun. All that romance and excitement leading up to the big day? That’s just the shiny packaging. The real “prize” inside is a hell of a lot of hard work.
My gf and I have been dating for about 6 months. We both go to the same school, so we see each other all the time, and are both going to graduate in June. We have had a great relationship, and I have no reason to dislike her. She is a rational, level-headed, and smart woman who I absolutely trust.
My gf is trained in Jiu Jitsu and I believe she is decently good (I’ve never seen her fight). She has been training at a fancy gym consistently since she started college 5 years ago. I have zero self defense training as I don’t have the time or money to go to classes or a martial arts gym. I boxed briefly in early college but had to quit pretty early on because I got a new job.
So last night we had just got back from my friends birthday party and we started to mess around. Sometimes we play fight and wrestle around, normal couple things.
But last night while we were rolling around out of nowhere she puts me in an ACTUAL head lock.
