Life Advice

“I’m 35 and scared I will never get married and have kids”

May 9, 2024

I have never been in a relationship nor been physically intimate with anyone in my entire life.

I live in a very large city outside the US, but work as senior engineer for a reputable US-based multinational technology firm. I go outside every month. I go to a regular video games meetup and a regular community trash cleanup event, trying to talk to everyone and catch up with their lives and asking if they want to get dinner afterwards. I exercise after-work daily. I am attentive to hygeine and skincare, get my hair cut on a regular schedule, wear contacts lenses, wear clean clothes. I have created profiles on multiple dating apps, but at a fit 5’9” 140 lbs, I have never once received a like.

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We Hate in Others What We Can’t Fix in Ourselves

May 9, 2024

When we feel a strong sense of dislike, annoyance, or even hatred towards someone else, it’s often because they embody a trait or behavior that we struggle with ourselves. This could be something we’re aware of and actively trying to change, or it could be a blind spot – a part of ourselves we haven’t fully acknowledged or confronted.

For example, let’s say you have a coworker who always seems to be seeking attention and praise. You find yourself getting irritated every time they speak up in meetings or boast about their accomplishments. But if you dig a little deeper, you might realize that you, too, crave recognition and validation – you just express it differently, or even suppress it.

“My wife is enabling my 22 year old adult son who still lives at home”

May 8, 2024

My son is 22. He graduated high school with stellar SAT scores and was at the top of his school. After high school, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do with his life, so we let him have a gap year where he could live at our house rent-free so he could decide what he wanted to do with his life. What he decided to do was be a gamer person on Youtube with his own channel. I’m fine if that’s what he wants to do with his life. However, I know that it is a very unsteady job, and I would at least like him to get an education or a “real” job.

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What Does It Mean To Put Yourself Out There?

May 8, 2024

I want to talk about a phrase that gets thrown around a lot – “putting yourself out there.” It’s something we often hear when it comes to dating, socializing, or pursuing our goals. But what does it really mean?

Putting yourself out there means being vulnerable. It’s about exposing yourself to the possibility of rejection, failure, or disappointment. When you put yourself out there, you’re taking a risk. You’re saying, “Here I am, flaws and all. Take it or leave it.”

The Importance of Extending Compassion and Grace to Ourselves and Others

May 8, 2024

Humans are messy. We’re emotional, irrational creatures stumbling through life making one mistake after another. And that’s okay. Because embracing our inherent imperfections is the key to finding more compassion for ourselves and grace for others.

We live in a world that celebrates success and shuns failure. Social media paints a distorted picture of blemish-free lives full of stunning accomplishments. But behind every polished persona is a human grappling with fear, insecurity, and doubt. When we recognize this, we allow for more authenticity and vulnerability – both in ourselves and others.

“Girl Invited me over to dorm at 3am”

May 7, 2024

Last night a girl (18F) invited me (18M) over to her dorm. We had been messaging each other on instagram and then she said “…can we hang out soon. You never wanna hang out with me”. I told her about saying she was gonna show me her room. She then responds, “Come right now. My roomies are gone”.

So eventually I just head over and get there like at 3:30 AM. Once I get there she is just laying down, and I sit in her desk chair and we just talk and listen to music. Eventually I leave, super confused. Not really sure what her intentions were. Like I don’t know if she wanted to make a move on me or for me to sleep over. She is super cool and I enjoy talking to her, but she does flirt with me a lot and I feel like she gives me mixed signals.

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“He won’t marry me after 16 years and two kids”

May 7, 2024

wont marry me

I’m a 38 year old woman who has been dating a 40 year old man for 16 years. I feel so depressed and disposable because he won’t marry me.

We have been together for 16 whole years. We have two daughters (4 and 8). I wanted to be married before having kids but he basically said he thought that if he married me first then I might decide not to have any kids and he would be stuck never having any. So I was guilted into having them before being married.

I have felt horrible about my situation for years but last summer, about a month before our 16 year anniversary, I started to feel much worse. I’m depressed and I think about it multiple times a day. I feel like a joke. Like a disposable piece of trash. Like I’m not good enough to be loved completely.

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Why Men Need to Talk About Their Emotions

May 7, 2024

men emotions

Let’s face it, guys. We’ve been conditioned to believe that expressing our emotions is a sign of weakness, that “real men” are supposed to be stoic and unflappable in the face of life’s challenges. We’re taught to suck it up, to push down our feelings, to never let ’em see us sweat.

Well, I call B.S. on that. Not only is this emotional repression unhealthy, it’s also a one-way ticket to a miserable existence filled with broken relationships, stunted personal growth, and a gnawing sense of disconnection from ourselves and others.

“I lent a friend $25,000 and I want to be paid back.”

May 6, 2024

I find myself in a frustrating and disheartening situation with a friend of mine. Over a year ago, I lent him a substantial amount of money – $25,000 to be exact. At the time, he assured me that he would pay me back as soon as he could. I trusted him, as a good friend should, and I believed he would honor his word.

However, as the months have dragged on, I’ve grown increasingly concerned about the repayment of this loan. Every time I gently bring up the subject, he always has an excuse ready. He tells me that he’s dealing with “bills” and that he’s struggling to make ends meet. I understand that life can be challenging at times, and I’ve tried to be patient and understanding.

But recently, I discovered that he had purchased a car. This news hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t help but feel betrayed and upset. If he has the means to buy a car, surely he should be able to start paying me back, even if it’s in small installments. I’ve been there for him as a friend, and I feel like my kindness is being taken for granted.

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“Trying so hard not to fall into Red Pill”

May 6, 2024

My experiences with women have been terrible. No matter how much effort I put into putting myself out and listening to people’s advice, I’m always ending in the same outcome. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. I’m pretty sure it’ll almost be 10 rejections in a row.

I just can’t understand why women don’t like me. I talk to them with the intention of getting to know them and be friendly and then I’ll show romantic interest. And as soon as I do, I’m rejected.

And I’m finding it really hard to believe height and race don’t matter. People will tell me “just go outside and you’ll see short/brown people in relationships” – but just cause you see it happen sometimes doesn’t mean it’s not insanely difficult.

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