Category: Life Advice

I 35m have been dating a 38f for a little over 3 months.

On the 1st date she offered to split the bill. Since then we have gone out quite a but and she has never paid for anything. We have spent many whole weekends together and I don’t mind paying more than 50% but she has not offered to pay at all since the first date.

At one point she bought an rv and for 2 weekends I did work on it for her while we spent time together and thought it was a bit rude she didnt at least offer to buy lunch to show appreciation.

Today I want to talk about a habit that so many of us have fallen into without even realizing it: apologizing for everything, even when we’ve done nothing wrong.

You know what I’m talking about. You bump into someone and immediately blurt out “I’m so sorry!” even though they weren’t looking where they were going. Your boss gives you a new assignment and you respond with “Sorry, I’ll get on that right away!” as if the work is an imposition. Sound familiar?

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Quiz has become a widely recognized tool for assessing the impact of early life trauma on long-term health and well-being. Developed through a collaboration between the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser Permanente in the 1990s, the ACE study revealed a profound connection between childhood adversity and a wide range of physical, mental, and social problems in adulthood. However, while the ACE Quiz provides valuable insights, it’s crucial to understand what it does and doesn’t mean.

I know that this will sound like an “incel”/”nice guy” rant (is that what they call it nowadays?), but I guarantee you that it isn’t. I look decent for my age, am physically fit, I am very social (I go to different meetups 2-3 times per week plus golfing with my buddies on weekends), have put in a lot of effort into dating, and have a lot of hobbies. I do woodworking crafts, I love to read, I golf, and am very active politically. I have worked on the campaigns for several congressmen and senators in my area. On weekends, I volunteer at an animal shelter or a local VA hospital. My friends would describe me as a very amiable, social person. I have probably asked out about 50+ women throughout my life, in real life or on dating sites.

Look, we all do it. We sit around and reminisce about how great things used to be. How everything was simpler, people were kinder, and the world just made more damn sense. But here’s the thing: it’s all bullshit.

(Photo by Donovan Grabowski)

My heart breaks every time I see somebody call themselves boring. You’re looking at it all wrong and that’s why you still feel the same way. Please read this and I’ll try and prove it to you.