Caveman Circus

My Asian parent’s don’t approve of my (28F) boyfriend (27M) of 1.5 years. They think he’s not a good match for me because he’s going to earn much less than I will and he’s not the same status as them. I just started my residency and graduated from medical school, while my boyfriend is an engineer, about 4-5 years into his career. My parents think he doesn’t earn enough money, has no potential, and will go nowhere in his field of engineering, and then we’ll live a very average/low-class life because our earnings together will not be enough for a better quality of life.

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Alright, let’s talk about your worth. Not the number in your bank account or the digits on your scale. I’m talking about your intrinsic, unshakeable, “you’re-a-human-being-and-that’s-enough” kind of worth.

Here’s the deal: Your worth is intrinsic. It’s baked into your very existence. It’s not something you earn, achieve, or win like some cosmic game show prize. It’s there from the moment you take your first breath to the moment you take your last.

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Let’s talk about grace, and no, I don’t mean the kind you mumble before shoving food in your face. I’m talking about the kind of grace that might just save us from tearing each other apart in this dumpster fire we call modern life.

Here’s the deal: we’re all screwed up. Every single one of us. We’re walking around with our own personal baggage, our insecurities, our bad days, and our monumentally stupid decisions. And you know what? That’s perfectly normal.

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Look, we all get angry sometimes. Life is full of frustrating situations and people who piss us off. But if you find yourself constantly blowing up at minor annoyances – screaming obscenities at other drivers, raging at slow wifi, punching holes in walls – then I’ve got some harsh news for you: You’ve got some serious issues, and your anger is just the tip of the iceberg.

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We all say we want to grow, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. We post inspirational quotes on Instagram about stepping outside our comfort zones. We read self-help books claiming to have the secrets to personal transformation.

But here’s the thing: Most of us are full of shit. We say we want to change, but what we really want is to feel like we’re changing while staying essentially the same. We want improvement without discomfort, growth without growing pains.

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Let’s face it: conflict sucks. Whether it’s with your partner, your boss, or your best friend, nobody wakes up thinking, “You know what I need today? A good argument.” But guess what? Conflict is inevitable. And if you don’t know how to handle it, it can turn into a massive dumpster fire that burns through your relationships faster than a fake news scandal on social media.

[Read more…] about How ‘I’ Statements Save Relationships