Caveman Circus

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. When we started, we both wanted the same things: marriage, a house, kids, and strong careers. We’ve achieved the career part, but the house has never happened. Every time we save, something comes up, and now with how expensive everything is, buying a home feels almost impossible.

From the beginning, he has been clear that he wants to own a home before having kids. I understand why. He grew up in an unstable household, and owning a home represents safety to him. I respect that. But I’m 35 now, and the risks of waiting to have children are weighing on me more and more.

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I need help. I feel like I’m starting to break.

My partner has ADHD and complains constantly about how she feels. Her head hurts, her stomach hurts, something always seems wrong. I try to help by offering her things like Advil or water, but it never seems to be enough.

This morning she said she thought she had low blood pressure. All I said was, “It seems like there’s always something going on with you.” I know that wasn’t the best thing to say.

But it turned into a three hour meltdown. She’s been crying in bed and not talking, and now our plans for the day are ruined.

This keeps happening over and over, and I’m exhausted and honestly sick of it.

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My wife is traveling for a conference and will be gone for a few days. We live about 30 minutes from the airport, so it turns into about an hour round trip, probably more with traffic. We have to leave at 7am, and I’ll pick her up at 9:30pm on a weekday. I’m happy to drive her, but it’s a big inconvenience with work, working out, and taking care of the dogs. It basically doubles my commute that day. Now she’s upset.

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I’m 28 and have been dating my partner, who is 43, for almost a year. A few days ago, I mentioned having some friends over and thought it would be nice if her friends came too so everyone could meet.

She hesitated, so I asked what was wrong. She said the issue wasn’t meeting friends, but that she’d feel embarrassed because I still live in a one bedroom apartment at almost 30.

That caught me off guard. I’ve never seen it as a problem. My place is spacious, with a living room, dining area, and kitchen. I make a decent living, I just don’t see the point in paying a lot more rent for space I won’t use.

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My husband and I live next door to his mom, but he still calls her every day, sometimes up to three times a day. He sends her photos of everything, his meals, his activities, and texts her constantly. He takes her out about four days a week and walks over to see her regularly.

He shares almost everything about his day with her.

I don’t feel jealous of her, but I do feel like my husband should have some boundaries.

We’ve talked and fought about this many times, almost every week. After our arguments, he says he just wants me to be happy for him and his mom.

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My wife is a stay at home mom and we have a five year old who just started homeschooling about three months ago. Since we started, it’s been rough.

My wife has a bad temper, and when our daughter doesn’t understand something right away, she’ll yell at her, get frustrated, and sometimes just give up and walk away while our daughter is crying. She’s said things like “if you can’t do it then I’ll throw all your toys away.”

The other day she texted me: “Think our daughter is fucking retarded.”

[Read more…] about “Should we stop homeschooling?”