Theodore Lee

I’m a 19 year old dude, who’s lately been feeling really bad about my height. I’m just about 5’1 ft and it really makes me insecure about the way I’m perceived by society. I’m fairly buff and I do amateur bantamweight MMA, but I still find myself self-doubting my masculinity.

I sometimes have extreme periods of self-hatred where I trash my room or feel the urge to punch in mirrors that reflect my image. I can’t for the life of me get over my height; I feel that I’m unlovable.

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I have been married for 13 years to a wife who is in most ways a wonderful partner – smart, organized, good mother to our two children, generally respectful and not overly controlling. We’ve been on wonderful trips together.

She is however, a bit high strung, and does a real hot temper, and when she gets mad about something, will occasionally punch or slap me. Now all the time, but sometimes — say, a few times a year.

I’m a lot larger than her and so I can take it (I played contact sports as a kid) but I don’t exactly like it. (The yelling isn’t great either) I’ve told her that I don’t like it — and I don’t think she’s exactly proud of it and I think she is ashamed at her temper. That said she can also be somewhat self-righteous and isn’t highly apologetic. That may be because some of the stuff she gets angry about isn’t trivial but objectively anger-inducing (say, totally forgetting about something I’d repeatedly promised to do, or relentlessly pushing for things or reopening decisions like more or longer vacations when she wants to work more). I just want to admit I’m not a perfect husband who is yelled at for no reason.

In marriage therapy I mentioned it as well but for some reason the therapist didn’t make a big deal of it, but focused more on what I am doing to make her angry. It would be a lot to throw away a long marriage over a few slaps here and there.

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Most of us are walking around with our heads so far up our own asses that we wouldn’t know our authentic selves if they bit us in the face. We’re so busy trying to be who we think we should be, who society tells us we should be, that we’ve completely lost touch with who we actually are.

[Read more…] about The Gritty Work of Self-Discovery: Why Facing Your Demons Is the Key to Authentic Living

My gf and I have been dating for about 6 months. We both go to the same school, so we see each other all the time, and are both going to graduate in June. We have had a great relationship, and I have no reason to dislike her. She is a rational, level-headed, and smart woman who I absolutely trust.

My gf is trained in Jiu Jitsu and I believe she is decently good (I’ve never seen her fight). She has been training at a fancy gym consistently since she started college 5 years ago. I have zero self defense training as I don’t have the time or money to go to classes or a martial arts gym. I boxed briefly in early college but had to quit pretty early on because I got a new job.

So last night we had just got back from my friends birthday party and we started to mess around. Sometimes we play fight and wrestle around, normal couple things.

But last night while we were rolling around out of nowhere she puts me in an ACTUAL head lock.

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